Mike Murphy

Blimey, that's an accent.

Biggest party round there since the Brexit result came in.

Just excited for how bad Eze's penalty will be, tbh.

Did the HD Stadium Tour today. It really is an incredible building, especially changing rooms and tunnel area. Why are there no trophies (or replicas) on display on the tour*? Why is Liverpool gridlocked from docks to M62 on a Tuesday afternoon? *bantersauruses (bantersaurusii?) need not reply.

At Alton Towers, and somebody is doing a fierce trade locally in pomade for adolescents.

Did somebody have a website full of massive wholesale-type discounts on food and drink?

Year of Our Lord 2026 and Boss Rarkley is scoring a goal a game in the Champions League. I'm simply not having that elite football is better than it's ever been.

Beginning to think a draw with United wasn't such a good point after all, lads.

Can I shock you about Thierno Barry, despite what I say every time he plays football?

This is too LinkedIn even for LinkedIn.

Look, I like Burnham, seriously want him to succeed and deliver on his conference speech, but it feels like he's just a fortnight away from legislating against binmen putting bins back in an unruly mess after collection.

Genuinely unable to work out who the BBC is trying to talk to. Taking a scythe to a lot of its small-but-passionate-audience content in pursuit of teens (tweens), yet then have this high up its app front page.

Big Dunc taking on the Glentoran job feels like something from Football Manager. ICT, Forest Green, Glentoran. Probably not what he had in mind when he turned down Real Madrid with Ancelotti.

Titanic Captain arrives with lighter than anticipated load, and criticises early Spring sea temperatures in the North Atlantic.

I'm at the daughter's under-8s rugby in Wilmslow. And friends, I think I could quite happily be a Tory.

Patrick Magee, Glasgow, 2.45 am October 12. 1984

Johnson, Norgaard and Maitland-Niles in one summer. Looks like Benitez is still running the transfer policy.

Took me ages to get onto Colin from Accounts, and now have raced through all of it. We need more funny, big-hearted, brilliantly written TV.

Roma there. Maybe Friedkin is just concerned #Evertonthat is highly contagious.

Full Beer Jacket

Marina Hyde is launching her own channel today on Lineker's network, audio, visual, writing. PSA for all the devoted cock-womblers and twat-muffiners out there.

A lot of football journalists making plaintive what is the point of it all appeals after yesterday's match. If they're not careful they'll write themselves out of a job.

Have Liverpool let the whole of football down? Not for me to say, Clive, not for me to say.

Among the many things to have suffered from cuts at BBC Sport is their ability to spot a windup

Truly the most disorientating Barry experience since your man from Eastenders did the singing performance at the Bowls

7 or 8 of these playing like they paid to get in. Armstrong must be livid his transfer was leaked.

Dewsbury-Hall has missed every single pass so far. Which is quite the achievement.

Tigers eat people. Not news. BBC News - Man dies after tiger attack at wildlife park www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Would love to have been in the room when these decided to advertise their anti-bald pills by putting Prince William and Prince George heads on top of Pez dispensers.

Everton, hear me out lads, there's a rich bloke who's looking for an escape hatch in East Manchester. Plenty of experience in building urban infrastructure in postcodes that need it, too. Just putting it out there.

BBC now talking about Ronaldo as if he's a character in the New Testament

I know this looks like a quirky fact but tells of the creative sector being worth £140+bn to the UK economy. You wouldn't know it as politicians do the 'I'm more workin' class frum t'pits than you' dance. Worse than boomer obsession with the war for the damage it does to the future of the UK.

Stalin, Yalta, February 1945

4 October 1936. Battle of Cable Street took place in Cable Street, Whitechapel, London. It was a clash between the Metropolitan Police, protecting a march by the British Union of Fascists (BUF) led by Sir Oswald Mosley and various anti-fascist and Jewish demonstrators.

Just noticed the errant apostrophe on Rat's. Livid here, hope City win their appeal now.

Citygate, yeah that's right 'gate', has reached the Altincham tram line. Premier League may not recover from this.

Just seen today's City news referred to as 'The Pepstein Files' if anyone was wondering just how melted football fans' brains are these days.

Peter Reid seems to be becoming an unofficial government spokesman. Not against it.

I'm assuming by the comments from the union gadgie there is only old people in her union?

"Together we can build a better Britain. Let's start by locking up that bastard Clive Thomas."

Can I shock you, despite what I've consistently said and thought about Samuel for most of my adult life?

United selling 7cm blocks of grass for £125 a go is still this week's biggest act of footballing financial fraud, tbh.

Some textbook responses from the football community in the last hour or so.