Mrs. Misdemeanor

Musk *and Trump*, I suspect.

Me, watching through barely open eyes as kid #1 plays in his room since like 1am: … Kid#2 on the other baby monitor behind me: ………….. SUNNY DAY SWEEPING THE… ON OUR WAY TO WHERE THE AIR IS SWEEEET!!!!!!!

I had a lot of stuff going on and didn’t get to watch much football. Did we have a game? 😁🫣

No wayyyyy. 🙄

This entire season so far is absolute chaos, and I love it.

Oops I’m crying again 🥹😭🧡💙

This is one of the greatest catches in Auburn football history. It should be right up to there with Nix to Sanders and the Prayer at Jordan-Hare. If this had happened at the end of the game, it would be immortalized forever. It deserves a special place in Auburn lore.

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Tommy Tuberville thinks this lie will win him an office in Montgomery. Send that guy the hell back to Florida.

I swear I heard our nonverbal son say “War Eagle” after the game. Not even kidding. 🥹 It’s been a good day, full of wins.

I swear I had forgotten that a football Saturday could feel this good.

The Auburn football team deserves every minute of celebration! War Damn Eagle! Job well done!! 🦅

The hypertension came with my Auburn fan starter pack.

Halftime thoughts:

That catch is going in the highlight reel. Let’s gooooooo! 🦅

WHAT DID I SAY

That incompletion was heartbreaking! Did he lose it in the sun?

Beautiful touchdown! WDE!

Listen. I just want us to get through this without devastating injuries. Just… please. 🦅

College football rankings are meaningless. Now more than ever.

I wrote an essay on why it’s so hard to be press secretary in a Trump administration. Wanna read it? Here you go:

AP is reporting that Katie Zacharia is out. Can you believe it?

New neighbors and their music is vibrating in our walls. No, our houses are not attached.

Idgaf take all the damn guns.

Fun week to be an Auburn bye week.

Wowwww Oklahoma

What is going on with our president? Calling people "THE ENEMY" for exercising their First Amendment rights is deeply disturbing. That's what autocratic leaders do, not American leaders. Doing so for such a trivial, vain matter is just nutty.

My head knows how to spell “available” and “availability”. My fingers do not know how to type it correctly on the first try.

Watched the Ted Lasso season finale last night and I still feel deeply unsettled. If season 5 isn’t greenlit soon, I’m gonna riot.

Why is 🇺🇸 media not reporting on this 128 day Albanian protest of Kushner and Ivanka’s insane corruption?

Welp. Guess it’s time to catch up on the 13 TikToks my husband sent me yesterday.

I’m not even mad at my lucky shirt. We deserve every bit of this loss. And it is infuriating.

What do you not understand about me screaming “SHOVE IT” at my tv?????? Cmonnnnn

Can we like complete a tackle? Pleeease.

We need to live in the run game right now, y’all.

All I can see whenever Tennessee wears gray.

Omg the freaking penalties.

What the heck is this camera work today???? Where do we look????

Byrum Brown fought for that one! 🦅

Let’s goooooooo! Touchdown Auburn!

I hate Tennessee’s helmets.

Can’t think of a better way to use a leftover pork chop.

Greetings to all those waking up now that September has ended. The world continues to be messy.

Whatever you call it, it’s: