Nappy Dolemite

Bird flu? No shit Sherlock, that's what they do.

Me and the other 3 active accounts on this website think you're hilarious

I gave you a fake trophy for a subpar sex tweet please respond

"i'll be back" --arnold schwarzenegger getting into a 2-man horse costume

Every penis is detachable

Are you slutty or are you "internet slutty"

Next person who asks me, "How have you been?" is getting met with, "I'm making the most formed poops of my life it's wonderful thank you."

I earned the cork on my fork

please say it’s twizzlers please say it’s twizzlers please say it’s t

Recreational flonase

Roast beef and gravy scented lip gloss

Log me out unsafely, daddy

Can't. I'm spending the afternoon shaming anyone on Instagram who calls having a drink, "soup season."

You scare me. Do it again.

I'm confident I could leave the Hotel California at any point.

And in summation, titties

Post-nut parity

I'd flirt with you, but I just started to like myself.

I'd flirt with you, but I just started to like myself.

You should be able to change your background on zoom just for yourself. Like why do I have to listen to Dave go over the third quarter figures without seeing what I look like on a beach chair by the Caribbean?

Woke up and chose violence (Decided to leave the house)

I’m only here for the terrible relationship advice

If I start actively participating in this site it's over for you bitches

RANCH DRESSING: I’m named after where I’m from THOUSAND ISLAND: me too ITALIAN: si GREEK: naí FRENCH: oui RUSSIAN: da GREEN GODDESS: [high as fuck] whoa

Get in line, Breaking News. Everything's breaking. You're not special.

I have my own hoodies. I’m coming for your life insurance policy.

I have my own life insurance policy. I'm coming for your panties.

"Bad girl," but as praise kink

I don't know why everything.

Sex so good you tell him it’s on the house

It's Friday. Do your fuck laundry.

something wicked this way comes, dumbass

Dropped the hot; just a mess

I hope the apocalypse comes soon I'm so sick of pooping

To everyone who wrote don't change in my yearbook I'm happy to say I didn't (I stayed awful).

You can't be dropping fire posts on the www and be hot. People hate that.

I do all my best internetting from a commodore 64

DOCTOR: i’m a urologist MARIO: ur a my what now