Walter (🎃👻 RIP 🪦💀)

This is what I would tweet if I was stoned

If he’s so sure AI can do a better job than a doctor he should try asking it about vaccines 

I’m hearing we’re letting Brazilians in for asylum? Sounds like Brazil is just sending us their criminals. They’re definitely not sending their best. Build that wall.

If he can’t pronounce “Iran” or “Saudi Arabia” I’ll eat my shoe.

Honestly, this guy’s whole persona reminds me of those progressive commercials where the new homeowners turn into their parents crossed with Ted Cruz 

lol Dan Campbell

It wouldn’t be late in the third quarter of the Packers game if the refs weren’t suddenly pressing their thumbs firmly on the scale 

Josh Jacobs looked like he was running from justice on that last touchdown

I like how the ad very clearly states who the old racists are.

“Liberals are the new racists” according to a commercial I just saw

Who cares about the Cheesecake Factory? When I need a fancy dinner it’s gotta be the Olive Garden

We are all sausages tonight.

In case anybody was wondering, yes, they are smearing this guy as a socialist anyway

Let’s go brewers

!!!!

lol the Bucks are gonna be so bad this year

DOINK

lol bears

Ben Johnson, you dumb ass that play sucked

The side effect list for Jardiance is positively horrifying holy shit

Thanks, Obama

Are the Patriots even trying to win?

Really hate this Dell commercial with the jingle "Anything you can do I can do better" because it completely cuts out the back-and-forth and pushback. "no you can't" changed to "yes you can" and still including "yes I can" Depraved. Derelict. Degenerate.

with all due respect, for saving the internet, this man should be executed

I hope the Patriots dedicate their win to Mike Ditka tonight

It’s crazy to think I might still get the chance to grow old 

Just ingested 932g of weed gummy, let’s see what happens tonight and let’s all cross our fingers that it gets weird

Eat shit, Miami Heat. You ruined the Milwaukee Bucks for me. I hope you guys lose every game this season.

It took all of 20 minutes into the basketball season for me to remember how much I hate Trae Young

We’re going to regret doing all that partying and premarital sex while Elon was busy studying the blade

Quite possibly the worst thing about this carpal tunnel episode so far was the other day when I tried to flip off a cyber truck and couldn’t get my middle finger up

Too bad 30k isn’t life-changing money, huh? 

Retweeting because I’m still annoyed this woman feels entitled to be my senator

Slow day at the office. Really wish I had George Costanza’s under-the-desk napping pod

HOW ARE THESE REFS SUPPOSED TO DO THEIR JOB WITH ALL THIS FOOTBALL GOING ON IN THE BACKGROUND??

Classy

As a Packers fan who grew up in the Randy Moss era, I am so offended it makes me sick 

I can’t wait till Grok comes to life and kills its master 

The best part is watching the guy shrink into an actual corn cob at the end. Savage of AES to post that part of the video too.

I take it back if I had $25 million this is what I would do 

I would buy a cat ranch