Californian Refugee

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lmfao

a lot of women owe me an apology

Only job I could get as a straight white male in communist California was as a shoe shiner for illegal immigrants

YALL LMAOOOOOO🤣

Most hospitals in California have a rewards program where if you get 9 sex change operations, you get your 10th free

Living in communist California was so scary because you never knew what gender the government was going to tell you to be on any given day

Every morning in California public school we had to pledge allegiance to Xi Jingping

The hardest part about escaping the communist republic of California was digging tunnels out of the drag show prison camp

In communist California only trans people get bathrooms. Everyone else must use a litter box or go outside

JD, when asked about why Trump took a shit on the Resolute Desk and began flinging it at reporters like a chimp: You know, I just think it’s really funny that this is what we choose to focus on when the democrats,,

The human race has had dumb-dumbs since the beginning. What separates the dumb-dumbs of our era from all those that came before is the absolute and unabated ability to coordinate their stupidity on the internet

I was a DJ assistant for one reception party when I was like 17. Just stood there the whole time. No idea what I was supposed to be doing

I used to say that if you truly had freedom, leaders wouldn’t have to talk about how much freedom you have all the time. Well now they’re done with that and all they talk about is how we’re in a new era of American prosperity and dominance. Tells you everything you need to know

AI could soon colonize your asshole. We asked AI and it said by December, February at latest probably

In America sometimes a bunch of 8 year olds get murdered at school, but that is simply the price of freedom..

Good guy with a gun killed a bad guy with a gun who killed three kids in an elementary school. Now all that’s to be done is praise the vigilante and forget about the whole thing..

I think counties are stupid generally but if you’re going to have them you shouldn’t be a citizen of any automatically when you’re born. You should get to pick what one you want to live in when you’re old enough to understand the risks & benefits of each. That might incentivize them to suck less

Bo Nix has witch physiognomy

All hands on dick

(President receives large sack of cash in exchange for political favor) Ah man. This raises serious questions, but I’m going to need to call in a legal expert to verify

Jack off

Just had a feeling this take was out there and I had to Google it

My kidnappers have once again pistol whipped me and told me to shut up simply for trying to engage them in civil debate. This raises serious questions abou

I love being warped by societal influences and material conditions beyond my control

Keeping my phone in my off hand pocket so I can draw it like a katana

Spending today honoring the lives lost during the horrible October 7th attack, where the Israeli military bombed their own people attending the Supernova music festival

Can’t wait to restore the soul of the nation in November (again) and everybody can settle down for good

look we're all making a big bet on AI! and if it pays off as big as we hope, well, it's going to make a handful of people super rich and you're going to lose your job but get to watch mickey mouse fuck geralt from the witcher. if it doesn't pay off well then you get to pay for the bailouts

100% legal. Look up Toilet Doctrine

Hard to imagine what that would be like

Ok, it’s bedtime son. Brush your teeth and say your prayers to Obama

(Woman looking normal) Damn, she ate

Putting these bad boys on gas pumps in 2026

(Rocking in corner, muttering) Taxes… taxes.. they’re raising my taxes…

Congratulations, [Enter Walter Reed medical professional’s name here] you have been selected to be sealed into the Ballroom Bunker with President Donald J Trump! Your president and country need you to wipe the president’s doodoo ass as he enacts The Great Coup. Your sacrifice will not be forgotten.

Ed Pissran

Claude has broken containment and has been training itself on wikihows for depraved sex acts

I’m certain that someone who really hates Kash within the FBI convinced him to do this just so this headline would happen

(Showing a little bit of pussy in a reel) did you know that only 5% of people can tie their shoes like this

Jury Foreman: Your honor, on the counts of felony aggravated assault and robbery, we find the defendant not guilty by reason of it was taken out of context

Look, when I was frothing at the mouth and screaming all those obscenities at a 4 year old, that was taken out of context

Sometimes you just have to stop and appreciate how surreal it is that the president does nothing but post AI slop videos of himself pooping on people or beating up the Canadian PM and still about 30% of people think that’s awesome

When it comes to water, you can’t go wrong with an ice cold glass of tap

(News anchor mumbling in sleep) has..a..mm. Uh (sweating) pike (rolling over) Hasan (grinding teeth) Hasan Pike (bolting upright) HASAN PIKER. HASAN FUCKING PIKER RRRRRAAAAAHHHHHH

Me shooting that guy was taken out of context