Patrick Fitzgerald

Get out and vote early! #Georgia #Ossoff #Texas #Talarico #Michigan #AbdulElSayed

Four votes for Ossoff - blue wave in Georgia 🌊

I know, right?

“I don’t think being good at things is the point of doing them.” — KURT VONNEGUT

🎵 I’ve never thought to study the body of a man till tonight… I’ve never seen an ass so tight

Gas prices are “temporarily” high, says the president. That’s because Republicans are temporarily in power. Vote.

🎯🎯🎯

The cool thing about Republicans is they will support a PDF file endlessly, but a brown guy named “Vivek Ramaswamy”? They’d turn on him in a second.

Reading:

@deadder.bsky.social

Let them eat liver.

Tonight we’re making calzones with sausage and spinach. 😋

Workshop organization porn: rotary tool and power carving edition.

It’s hard to believe that Vivek Ramaswamy and Elon Musk are still involved in government after the DOGE debacle, but here we are.

In case you're wondering what Thirsty Donald is doing with your taxes, it's probably something like this:

I made a little tool out of scrap wood, for moving my oven racks.

"And then the nurse puts a spoon in the applesauce and brings it up -- and here's what confuses most people -- she says it's an airplane. An airplane! And she tells you to open up the hangar, but what they don't tell you is your mouth is the hangar. But I knew! And I opened my mouth like a big boy!"

Yeah… maybe don’t do that?

It's hard to kiss properly when you have to exhale through your nose to block the stench.

Aww man… he had people skills.

Donald has no problem pronouncing the names of people who give him lots of money. He won't even make fun of your name with crass, racist jokes.

typically, the primary condition of winning a war is that the enemy doesn't get a vote

We have reached the stage where Donald Trump doesn’t even recognize he has slipped up. Previously he had a sophisticated learned mechanism for correcting his verbal gaffes, but his mush brain is no longer able to keep up.

Donald Trump must be extraordinarily attracted to "central casting" Pete Hegseth, to continue allowing him to get away with so much. "I started examining his body because I didn't know he was a great athlete. And I looked and I watched up and down. I looked at his ass..."

After all these statements I’m actually glad they haven’t done anything with healthcare.

Oh well, maybe she'll excel on "Dancing With The Stars".

Temu Karoline was an upgrade in design, but they cheaped out on the CPU.

statler and waldorf but it’s al-sayed and ossoff heckling republicans

Does the White House have the same concussion protocol as the NFL? 

As long as they do it well.

It turns out tgat the best was *not* yet to come, and had actually occurred many years prior.

🎵 Suddenly She-more! 🎵

Here are the details: literally any time, any place, any network.

Doom scrolling political news really brings me down - but if I want to really dive the deeper depths, I spend a few minutes browsing LinkedIn. 😨

The Mar-a-Lago lady lips have started doing eye lid surgery; it’s a self-perpetuating system now and no way to stop it. Exponential tummy tucks and breast enhancement, it’s Ivanka-matic.

I knew I had seen Susan Dell on MTV...