Patrick Fawcett

Calm down, London Sperm Bank

punkin dunkin

🏆🥇

Hello Clarice…

🏆

This cat came to eat Friskies and kick ass. And he’s all outta Friskies…

“SHRÖDINGERRRRRRRR!”

Okay, this got me.

I wish I could be in the room when some flunky tells Donald Trump that ALL of the Welland Canal is in Ontario and owned entirely by the Canadian Government. And then Natalie tries to explain to him how many American ports currently require the Welland Canal to export goods.

Your chances of being murdered by a raccoon are low… …but never zero

How far is too far to turn around after realizing you left your husband at the restaurant?

Waiting on my Uber Eats order…

Trump can't handle it because he's an insecure little pussy

My husband is always saying dumb shit like, "Good morning."

I just read someone refer to Trump as the Cunt of Mostly Crisco 💀🤣💀

the cat's been in the litter box for an hour just scrolling on his phone

Your Thursday Morning Breakfast.

Ursus drug deal caught on tape.

This is high art

Bobby is pleased with the peaceful protesting this weekend.

Sometimes when we borrow words from other languages, English can become delightfully redundant.

No lies told here.

Braing Drain? Ironically powerful way to point out that it's not just the medical scientists who are leaving...

America is *so* stupid.

The Starship wreckage has been located!