Points in Case

We have a projection. I repeat, we have a projection. Democrats will win the Pennsylvania county that looks like a little boot.

Are You a Girl’s Girls Girl? Why Showing Labia Majora on Screen is Feminist, But Showing Labia Minora Isn’t ^^^ I'll devour ALL the think pieces but I'll read these first

it's baaaaack (the discourse!!) and i wrote about it:

We Re-Re-Re-Re-Re-Revisit That "Voice of a Generation" Thing

In this week's newsletter, @jamesfolta.com and I rounded up great writing by @donmoyn.bsky.social, @bizzycoy.bsky.social in @pointsincase.com, Nick DiLallo in @mcsweeneys.net, and Patricia Marx in @newyorker.com. Plus, info about my upcoming short humor workshops. See the issue and subscribe 👇

In any case, here you are, back in touch again. To your credit, he texted first. He also seems … different.

Because I’m ready for fall, and because I’m definitely not a “loser with zero ambition,” here are some awesome new fall specials created by yours truly.

The only thing we know for sure is that exactly 12 times a year, we lean back in our chairs and say, “Wow. Hard to believe it’ll be month soon.”

You just blindly stumbling through life not afraid to have hair that short and also not even knowing you should be afraid!

With eerie accuracy, using nothing but my powerful intuition, I can guess your star players’ first names, last names, and hair color.

Fixed an issue where users woke at 3:14 A.M. to review everything embarrassing they said in 2009. Users now wake at 3:15 A.M.

Pennywise: AITA for wanting to provide fun and whimsy for local children?

If you're reading this, you are one of the select few that have been invited to Troy's Treehouse Triumph next Saturday, July 24, 1994.

In this week's newsletter @jamesfolta.com & I assembled great writing by Lisa Pertoso in @pointsincase.com, and by @tylergooch.bsky.social, David Distenfeld, and Jeremiah Budin in @mcsweeneys.net +A new @literaryhub.bsky.social article by James & my upcoming short humor workshops Read & subscribe👇

I only wanted a little flare of color. Just a pop. And what if I painted four walls and didn’t like how it turned out?

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Due to unprecedented demand from the first grade, Tooth Fairy visits are now released through a timed on-sale, with prices that move in real time.

And what exactly am I cleaning in that horrid graveyard that is your mouth?

Throwing Santa hats on our skulls and candy-cane striped scarves around our cervical vertebrae is an affront to our classical Stanislavski training.

Men’s Restroom: You nudge the rusty aluminum door with your side, lest you touch it with bare hands and develop three different strains of malaria.

Avg response: 8.9 days 🫡 That’s what we call comically fast.

Universe Three: Ninety-Nine Percent. Stars hung at 99 percent lit, and every sandwich was missing its last bite.

"If I want to talk to someone, I pick up the goddamn phone—then point to it while I’m looking at my assistant. She has learned that this means I need her to call someone for me. She holds the phone to my ear like a shell..." @pointsincase.com www.pointsincase.com/articles/im-...

Time for a spiritual experience with unsolicited mail over at @pointsincase.com www.pointsincase.com/articles/i-h...

If my assistant get an email that she thinks I need to read, I’ll tell her to print it out and read it to me in the voice of the person who wrote it.

Unless Marvin shows up, my Big-Ass Cookie is way bigger than any kid’s head, plus, you have to ask for it by name.

It glistened among the detritus, beckoning to me with its soft, seductive whisper: “Get Zero and Save Money on Interest.”

The Captain's whistle attracts hundreds of mountain goats. The gardeners spend the following week re-landscaping.

Obviously, the ingredients we use are fresh. To my knowledge, no other restaurant in the world promises fresh ingredients.

Seven bridesmaids plus the bride dine at a tea room. The waitress is only able to split the bill eight ways evenly. Who tells Lindsey she’s a bitch?

Sending a link to this in response to every candidate text I get between now and November 3. THAT WILL TEACH THEM

Partner with Captcha to replace photos of bicycles with photos of candidate’s face

Crossing my fingers this is what gets me in the door at Dunkin

Put it on the table. Let it sweat. Nothing you do here will matter.

Of course, it’s practically 100 degrees in here, but I’ll grab my jacket anyway, because it looks great in photos.

The only employee who has access to the form is Elizabeth. There are two Elizabeths at every branch. Do not ask the wrong Elizabeth for the form.

Last week's newsletter from me & @jamesfolta.com highlighted great writing by @joshgondelman.bsky.social and Ann Hodgman in @newyorker.com, Lily Hirsch in @pointsincase.com, & John Hay in @parisreview.bsky.social Plus info on a panel I moderated & some recent writing from James! Read & subscribe 👇

New from me on @pointsincase.com www.pointsincase.com/articles/not...

Can I show you now? I know you’re eating dinner but since you’re sleeping with my sister, it’s only fair that you take a look at it.

The Pope always gets the AUX cord, and he’s always blasting either Gregorian chants or Steely Dan.

Everyone's grandmother has a chili recipe. That is not a flex, Kevin. That is the floor.

He doesn’t pay attention to where he’s flailing his arms. He doesn’t ask for consent before brushing strangers.

Let’s continue to enjoy these occasional run-ins, but this coffee will never happen.

Oh my gosh, you think twelve characters is too much. You think I’m a terrible person. Tell me if this is too much.

Thank you so much @pointsincase.com for publishing my humor piece today! So excited and proud to be featured on your wonderful site!! 🙏♥️😀 A 32-Ounce Water Bottle Confronts Her Abuser www.pointsincase.com/articles/a-3...

Trust me when I say there’s nothing worse than being chucked into a lost and found box with a lime-green Stanley invading your personal space.

In this week's newsletter, @jamesfolta.com and I assemble great writing by Justin Courter in @pointsincase.com and Maria Choong, Juliet Zhou, and @chandlerjdean.bsky.social in @mcsweeneys.net Plus info about the event we're co-hosting and my upcoming workshops! Check it out and subscribe ⬇️