Wiener Water Soup

Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle for Tax Purposes

"Dad, I'm really glad you're still alive." "Yeah, it's every parent's dream to outlive their children. Good night, son."

This is a dance off. If you see this post a dance.

If you exclude my beer belly and rear end, I'm actually at my ideal weight.

This is fun. We need to make more woke, black, trans versions of stories these incels love. We need Atlas Shrugged, directed by Greta Gerwig, starring Coleman Domingo and Awkwafina.

"Grok, please fabricate a lie to tell me what I want to hear." "I'm sorry, I can't do that Dave."

"Hi, this is your auto insurance agency. We notice you haven't had an accident in over fifteen years. Do you even own a car? Do you drive it? This feels like a scam, so we're kicking you off your policy."

"We're putting blockchain on the White House lawn UFC octagon to monitor for measles."

Good luck to the Artemis II crew.

Imagine if they had dogs. Or bees. Or dogs with bees in their mouth, and when they bark they shoot bees at you.

"I knew you would punch me back if I punched you, so I had to punch you first to defend myself."

They probably charged it to an ICE credit card. So really WE, the taxpayers, took him to McDonald's. They just want credit for it.

Trying to come up with a list of things I would rather watch than the Melania film. Open heart surgery footage. Power-walking marathon. Porno starring my grandparents. What else?

In solidarity with today's ICE OUT OF MINNESOTA blackout, MinnMax is donating $1 to the Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota for every share of this Bluesky post for the next hour.

St. Croix

Super normal and part of a healthy human experience to never have to experience grief or fully deal with feelings of loss.

"If you call us fascists for censoring speech, we will censor your speech." = "The beatings will continue until morale improves."

We need a liberal Hannibal Lecter.

My Surfers? Butthole.

Here's a list of DOGE staff, assembled and annotated by my colleagues at BI. Whatever you do, please don't share it. www.businessinsider.com/doge-staff-l...

Mika and Joe this morning.

Wolves win. Vikings win. Gorgeous weather. Yardwork done. Kids entertained. Doggo exercised. Pretty great day in MN.

New to this glorious place. Looking for worthwhile accounts to follow, so hit me up!