R.L. Stollar

Hi to new folks!! I am a homeschool alum, exvangelical, child and survivor advocate, and child liberation theologian. My website: rlstollar.com. My book: www.amazon.com/Kingdom-Chil.... Starter pack on homeschooling: go.bsky.app/MEZ51Pf. Starter pack on child advocacy: go.bsky.app/ToB6xNs.

I cannot stress enough the power of realizing that you are not alone. You are not crazy for thinking that aspect of church or God or the Bible hurt you so much. There is a reason it hurts—because it hurts other people, too.

This is like saying the once-rights of slave owners or husbands (property owner rights) are the same as the rights of enslaved people or wives (people once considered property by law). This nonsense is a brazen abuse of children's rights.

I once created a quiz where you must identify whether certain phrases are lines from the bestselling erotic BDSM novel 50 Shades of Grey by E.L. James or lyrics from Contemporary Christian Music songs. ...I retook it today and got so many wrong, lol.

this is a good article abt what our normal was. don't dissect us. don't rubberneck/gawk at us. let us be. we can't explain to your satisfaction & yet another 'omg i can't believe it' won't help. just stop. #Exvangelical #religiousabuse #childhoodtrauma #traumasurvivor

"Affirming children’s inherent rights and value... is a key part of empowering our contemporary communities to better love and protect children. Christians should affirm children in an unambiguous way."

can confirm. it caused me endless trauma, ptsd, nightmares, a fear of parenting my own kids. but i banished the exparents & broke the cycle. i don't care if they call me prodigal. i am free now. #Exvangelical #religiousabuse #childhoodtrauma #traumasurvivor

I had a mazapán (Mexican peanut candy) latte today made by Sip Happens Coffee & Matcha! It was delicious.

Lily's facial expression here is 100% meme. 🤣

"Out of twelve pages of Gothard’s 'Road Safety' module, six are about car maintenance and contingencies and six are about what to do if you’re sexually assaulted while out driving."

In the Dobsonian-Trumpian worldview, a sexualized saying like “Daddy’s home” can serve simultaneously as the essence of the gospel promise, the essence of biblical parenting, and the essence of good government.

"It’s important to create space for children not just to know that disobedience can be good and holy, but also to give them opportunities to practice."

Twenty years ago, Reb Bradley penned an article called "Solving the Crisis in Homeschooling." The crisis? "Parents have graduated their first batch of kids, only to discover that their children didn’t turn out the way they thought they would."

Marvin Olasky did not make a singular mistake with Doug Wilson. It was one of many times when Olasky partnered with, platformed, and promoted Christofascists.

"Children are not mere creatures of parents. They are not projects or weapons. They are inheritors of God’s Kingdom, images of that God, and they are capable of prophecy, leadership, teaching, and theology."

"The church wants to wash her hands of Bill Gothard — 'we never knew him!' — but the backers and supporters and poster children are still celebrated."

While I very much appreciate The Christian Post, JubileeCast, and The Roys Report covering Bill Gothard's heart attack and coma as well as crediting me for my corroborating screenshots, I find it odd that no one reached out to verify anything or even, like, give a heads up.

The Roys Report covers Bill Gothard's heart attack and coma. "IBLP’s doctrines, particularly those on authority, sexuality, and suffering, became a blueprint for fathers and older brothers to sexually abuse their daughters and younger sisters."

"Parents who refuse to acknowledge the harm caused by Christian authoritarian parenting risk alienating their kids long-term."

"We know that 'not all homeschoolers' are 'like that.' The culture we grew up in that is still alive and well IS 'like that.' If you’re not 'like that,' we’re not talking about you."

This timeline repeatedly demonstrates that people from around the world, throughout different time periods and with different cultural assumptions, can understand the importance of protecting children and their rights.

The relationship between Bill Gothard's Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP), including his homeschooling program the Advanced Training Institute (ATI), and Michael Farris’s Home School Legal Defense Association (HSLDA) has deep history.

"We must wrestle with the biblical texts, questioning and challenging them when they ignore the children they contain or justify violence against the children barely visible at their margins."

yesterday i was struggling w guilt over the forgiveness aspect of things. it helped to read this today. i don't HAVE to forgive! it's ok to not be there. it was used to silence me for so many yrs. the system is rotten. #Exvangelical #religiousabuse #childhoodtrauma #traumasurvivor

i have been learning since leaving, that my anger is valuable. it's something i teach our kids, broke the cycle. they are treasures. their anger is a teacher. i learn from it. sometimes i'm even angry at the exparents. #Exvangelical #religiousabuse #childhoodtrauma #traumasurvivor

"Gothard’s teachings didn’t stay inside IBLP. They seeped into schools, churches, families, homeschool communities and Christian culture."

Someone just said I must have laid low, but actually I broke numerous stories from that group and mentioned the group directly each time but I guess no one in the group noticed until today, lol. Thanks, Christian Post. 😉

This is one of my favorite book passages. Encouraging children to feel their emotions is so important.

If you want to learn more about Bill Gothard's abusive teachings and practices, Homeschoolers Anonymous uploaded all of his Wisdom Booklets for free public viewing back in 2015.

"When it comes to the adult-child relationship, we are still passionately insistent as a society that adults have the 'parental rights' to do whatever they want to their children."

"[Bill Gothard's Umbrella of Authority] means it is nearly impossible for us to confront our abusers."

the umbrella method - which gothard invented? was popular in our growing up life. but it didn't protect me - the exparents WERE the abusers. i told on them in my book. real abuse prevention is when children have rights/dignity/freedom. #Exvangelical #religiousabuse #childhoodtrauma #traumasurvivor

"We’re seeing a robust attempt to define children as the property of their parents. That’s what’s at the core of censorship campaigns, bans on gender affirming healthcare, and the ongoing refusal to treat corporal punishment for what it is: assault."

It is a long-established myth in Christofascist circles that rightly structured families are a form of abuse prevention.

"ATI and Gothard continually pushed the idea that victims were, at least partially, at fault for their abuse."

Media has begun reporting on Gothard's heart attack.

the power of these people reaches farther than you imagine. it's their desire to reach into the furthest houses of power. it's how christian nat'ism took over. i talk abt this a bit in my book. i'm glad i got free. #Exvangelical #religiousabuse #childhoodtrauma #booksky #books #writers #reading

No updates on Bill Gothard's health from his team as of this morning.

"Gothard silently influences public policy across the country."

i hope one day his whole raft of teachings are forgotten in a dusty pile of rot. i grew up under his stuff - it is rotten/awful. it taught me to blame myself for so much. #Exvangelical #religiousabuse #childhoodtrauma #traumasurvivor

"Bill Gothard’s cult creates a world in which abuse thrives in secret, and those that need help the most are silenced and shamed."

"Child liberation theology is not about abstract ideas but rather the simple yet radical act of treating children humanly and justly—something Rogers took seriously."

"I want to stress just how widespread [Bill Gothard's] IBLP’s influence was within the Christian homeschooling world throughout my entire childhood and beyond. There were hundreds and thousands of families involved."

Since we're all talking about Bill Gothard, don't forget the Home School Legal Defense Association (HSLDA) gave him their Lifetime Achievement Award just 4 years before he was accused by dozens of young people of sexual abuse—and never rescinded the award.

All I can think about right now is how many children and young people's lives were devastated by Bill Gothard and his teachings. I don't hope he dies without facing accountability, but I do hope his coma is haunted by a terrifying chorus of his victims.

i am not one to celebrate. but may he eventually rot and be forgotten.

I have been a fly on the wall in a private Facebook group of Bill Gothard supporters since 2014. Here are screenshots from that group confirming Gothard's heart attack and coma.

Disgraced homeschool leader and accused sexual predator Bill Gothard has reportedly had a heart attack and is currently in a coma in a hospital.