Rude Gopher Machine

Norgüey

First time getting a perfect score 😎 Perfect Nine #21 ✅ C 💎 1B 💎 2B 💎 3B 💎 SS 💎 LF 💎 CF 💎 RF 💎 DH 💎 436 / 245 walks (+191) · 🔥9 💎 PERFECT GAME — the optimal lineup perfectnine.gg

Playing on their turf never ever wins, not morally, not politically. Here's a response: "this is a wedge issue targeting kids, getting into their doctors' decisions. Next, they'll come for your hysterectomy, your vasectomy. And it's because they can't talk about the economy." Say Fuck You back

Can we get 10,000 RTs for this

The most hilarious content right now: people posting loudly, sincerely and very seriously about watching a Kid Rock performance. Bless their little, non-existent hearts 🤗

applying for jobs again

I have decided: I don't need to know that the shipping label was created. Keep me in the dark on that. Come back to me when something real is happening

Had the pleasure of meeting Dick Cheney at a charity do once. He was surprisingly down to earth, and VERY funny

No, it’s not like any other love / This one is different because it sucks

A second Will Klein Christmas pajama photo has entered the timeline. My mvp

All time life moment of trying to remember Gogol’s Dead Souls and coming up with Bobo’s Dead Sea Scrolls

I can’t believe Joe Pera’s tulpa is the current jeopardy champion

Watching first episode of Task: My wife was so impressed that I knew the answer to the trivia question on the plastic Phillies cup before Mark Ruffalo said it, she had to pause the show

Woke up from a dream where I was in a restaurant and a line cook was roughly making a cheeseburger on top of my head while I tried to sing this song:

Ooh we ooh I look just like Burger holly Oh oh and you’re mayonnaise tyler Moore

RFK Jr looks and sounds like the Men In Black alien wearing an Edgarsuit

Having to block a dumbass who doesn’t know geography on bluesky, is it the freakin weekend yet

hospital shrimp

Matt strahm really looks like if Blake snell was in duck dynasty

Really thought I had a chance to go 30 for 30 on pro mode Daily Walkoff ⚾ #324 30 for 30 Swings: 31 🚀1️⃣: AZ, ATL, BAL, BOS, CHC, CIN, CLE, COL, DET, HOU, KC, LAA, LAD, MIA, MIL, MIN, NYM, NYY, OAK, PHI, PIT, SD, SF, SEA, STL, TB, TEX, TOR, WSH 🚀2️⃣: CWS dailywalkoff.com

My son’s name is also Dort

WiFi on the plane to keep my streak alive: Daily Walkoff ⚾ #260 30 for 30 Swings: 47 🚀1️⃣: BAL, BOS, CIN, HOU, LAD, MIA, MIL, NYY, OAK, PHI, PIT, SD, SF, STL, TEX, TOR, WSH 🚀2️⃣: AZ, CHC, CWS, COL, KC, LAA, MIN, SEA, TB 🚀3️⃣: ATL, CLE, DET, NYM dailywalkoff.com

This is how I learned about the “Vedder Cup” Daily Walkoff ⚾ #259 30 for 30 Swings: 52 🚀1️⃣: BAL, CWS, CIN, CLE, DET, LAA, LAD, MIN, NYM, NYY, OAK, PHI, SF, STL, TOR, WSH 🚀2️⃣: ATL, BOS, COL, HOU, MIA, SEA, TEX 🚀3️⃣: AZ, CHC, MIL, PIT, SD, TB 🚀4️⃣: KC dailywalkoff.com

Early morning stroll Daily Walkoff ⚾ #250 30 for 30 Swings: 46 🚀1️⃣: ATL, BAL, CHC, CWS, CIN, DET, HOU, LAA, LAD, MIA, MIL, MIN, NYM, NYY, OAK, PIT, SF, SEA, STL, TEX, TOR, WSH 🚀2️⃣: CLE, PHI, SD, TB 🚀3️⃣: BOS, KC 🚀5️⃣: AZ, COL dailywalkoff.com

Haase hive wake up Daily Walkoff ⚾ #241 30 for 30 Swings: 70 🚀1️⃣: CWS, CIN, KC, NYM, SD, SEA, TEX 🚀2️⃣: AZ, ATL, CHC, CLE, COL, LAA, LAD, MIA, MIN, NYY, PHI, SF, TOR 🚀3️⃣: BAL, PIT, STL 🚀4️⃣: BOS, DET, HOU, MIL, OAK, TB, WSH dailywalkoff.com

Pro mode Sunday Daily Walkoff ⚾ #240 30 for 30 Swings: 73 🚀1️⃣: BOS, CHC, COL, HOU, KC, LAA, LAD, MIA, MIL, NYM, OAK, SD, SF, WSH 🚀2️⃣: CIN, CLE, PIT, TEX 🚀3️⃣: CWS, NYY, SEA, TB 🚀4️⃣: DET, MIN, STL, TOR 🚀5️⃣: AZ, BAL, PHI 🚀6️⃣+: ATL dailywalkoff.com

Is grey Zapel sponsored by settlers of catan?

Daily Walkoff ⚾ #236 30 for 30 Swings: 104 🚀1️⃣: CLE, DET, PHI, SF, TB 🚀2️⃣: ATL, HOU, KC, LAD, MIA, MIL, MIN, NYM, OAK, SD, SEA, TEX 🚀3️⃣: CIN 🚀4️⃣: CHC, CWS 🚀5️⃣: BAL, BOS, NYY, PIT, STL, TOR 🚀6️⃣+: AZ, COL, LAA, WSH dailywalkoff.com

Let’s turn two before my wife wakes up: Daily Walkoff ⚾ #232 30 for 30 Swings: 65 🚀1️⃣: ATL, CIN, LAD, MIL, NYY, SF, SEA, TEX, TOR, WSH 🚀2️⃣: CHC, CWS, CLE, COL, DET, HOU, KC, LAA, MIA, PIT, TB 🚀3️⃣: AZ, BAL, BOS, NYM, SD, STL 🚀4️⃣: MIN, PHI 🚀6️⃣+: OAK dailywalkoff.com

Went for a nice walk this morning Daily Walkoff ⚾ #229 30 for 30 Swings: 87 🚀1️⃣: BOS, CHC, CLE, LAD, MIN, NYY, SEA, STL, TEX 🚀2️⃣: AZ, CWS, DET, MIL, TOR 🚀3️⃣: HOU, KC, NYM, PHI, PIT, TB 🚀4️⃣: BAL, CIN, COL, SD, WSH 🚀5️⃣: LAA, MIA, OAK, SF 🚀6️⃣+: ATL dailywalkoff.com

Can anyone recommend a good book on the history of the Pirates? Daily Walkoff ⚾ #197 30 for 30 Swings: 54 🚀1️⃣: BAL, CHC, CWS, DET, LAD, MIA, NYM, NYY, OAK, SD, SF, SEA, TEX 🚀2️⃣: AZ, BOS, CIN, CLE, COL, HOU, LAA, MIN, STL, TOR, WSH 🚀3️⃣: ATL, KC, MIL, PHI, TB 🚀4️⃣: PIT dailywalkoff.com

Warwick Saupold, I wasn’t familiar with your game: Daily Walkoff ⚾ #195 30 for 30 Swings: 74 🚀1️⃣: BOS, CHC, LAA, LAD, MIN, NYM, SD, SEA, TOR 🚀2️⃣: BAL, CWS, CIN, COL, HOU, MIL, PHI 🚀3️⃣: CLE, KC, MIA, NYY, PIT, STL, WSH 🚀4️⃣: AZ, DET, OAK, TB, TEX 🚀5️⃣: ATL, SF dailywalkoff.com

My mind simply could not comprehend when or where Pat Burrell played baseball Daily Walkoff ⚾ #189 30 for 30 Swings: 53 🚀1️⃣: ATL, COL, HOU, LAA, LAD, MIA, MIL, MIN, NYM, NYY, OAK, SF, SEA, STL, TB, TOR, WSH 🚀2️⃣: AZ, BOS, CHC, CWS, CIN, CLE, KC, TEX 🚀3️⃣: BAL, DET, PIT, SD 🚀6️⃣+: PHI dailywalkoff.com

Once again felled by the pirates of Pittsburgh Daily Walkoff ⚾ #186 30 for 30 Swings: 79 🚀1️⃣: DET, HOU, LAD, NYY, OAK, WSH 🚀2️⃣: ATL, CWS, CLE, LAA, MIA, MIL, MIN, NYM, PHI, SEA, TB, TOR 🚀3️⃣: AZ, BOS, CHC, CIN, SD, SF 🚀4️⃣: COL, KC 🚀5️⃣: BAL, STL 🚀6️⃣+: TEX 🚀6️⃣+: PIT dailywalkoff.com

7 hours of red zone football just doesn’t have the same ring to it

At this point I would swear to become an exclusive customer of any clothing company that promises to never email me

my husband woke up from a dream this morning where he was in Lord of the Rings, and he was “unstoppable” because he had a gun

New MyChart message: According to our records – your Primary Care Physician has not seen you in over a year! Dr. Pussy 𝓷𝓮é Vagina has advised that they would like you to schedule your Annual Wellness Exam with them or one of their colleagues.

I’ve really been pronouncing Cooper Dejean’s last name as “Dijon” incorrectly this whole time