Zero

A joke gets one like, "I still got it"

This recipe only takes 5 minutes of prep time, first already have 5 vegetables and the meat mise en place'd by a professional sous chef

If you don't speak Midwesterner "it's okay" actually means "you're a huge disappointment"

"Fuck! Do I have to do EVERYTHING around here?!" - Person who lives alone

I practice my evil laugh for 5 minutes every day in case I decide to get into villainy

Hey... do any of the elves survive the Battle of Helmsdeep?? Seems really suspect!!

You see Frodo is an allegory for the white liberal who thinks he can reform Gollum, the allegory for the conservative party, in this essay I will...

Look, here's the thing. With layoffs, shutdowns, and GTA coming out in a month: If a game looks cool to you and you have the disposable income: buy it. Don't just cheer on indie games from the sidelines. Don't wait for a sale, or until you have time. Support art that excites you, tangibly.

oooo love my job as the night guard at the museum oooo hope no dinosaur bones come to life and kiss me ooooo

"With the power of Microsoft Co-Pilot, we have recreated what it feels like to use your grandparents' malware infested computer from the 2000s"

Upsetting that hot people can be funny and intelligent too, like come on, some of us are none of those things!!

Getting enough sleep and drinking a reasonable amount of caffeine: Damn, why do I feel good? Anyway, no lessons to learn here

Video game sequels used to just be "Now With Added Girl Mode"

Once Capitalists figure out how to make us all independent contractors being paid with company scrip, then they'll be happy

You know, I was always aware that companies would gut themselves publicly until they didn't have enough Labor to actually function but I had no clue CEO AI psychosis would make it happen so quickly

Sipping from my "Don't talk to me until I have unhinged my jaw and devoured a live rat" mug as I log into work

She's the original sweetiepie

When Galadriel says "All shall love me and despair" I felt that

you interrupted my cat's quinceañera for this??

Before he killed Gandalf the Gray, he was... [Summer 2027] The Balrog

Lord of the Rings Thin Lizzy cut, it just plays "The Boys Are Back In Town" every time the Nazgul are on screen

It's my comfort movie and it's the entire 10 hour extended cut of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy

Most people logging on to Bluesky

I am sure smarter people have written about how the internet was once a place where people who did not have a place in modern society could find a place to belong but that dream is dead as the people who made society have been increasingly shepherded into online spaces as well

(Listening to one of the best albums ever made) This really holds up!

Looking at my ballot and seeing that I have to vote whether I want someone to inspect children's genitals is a fucking new low for a country I already hate

Tech Bros: "We've invented the machine that allows you to never have to be nice to another human being ever again. Hey why do only assholes love our new machine?"

Having a health issue in America voice: "If I just ignore it, it can't bankrupt me"

We sure went from "No one wants to work anymore!" to "There are no jobs anymore" real fast

Do you know how bad your coffee has to be to not be able to sell it in an AIRPORT?

(American accent) takoyaki

Post something "Fuck It" Delete

The b̶a̶r̶t̶e̶n̶d̶e̶r̶ big account is not your friend, they are working for t̶i̶p̶s̶ Likes and Reposts

Getting a second opinion, but the new doctor also thinks my posts are bad

Now that every car has LED headlights, this is what driving at night looks like

Folklore Professor at Boston College voice:

Also making stickers now

I know 1,001 ways to be a Sweetiepie, I shall teach you 1,000. One I will keep for myself.

Single and Ready For Pringles

(2026 voice) OOO AUGGGGH OOOOOOO UUUUGH