ShortEye

‘Have you ever seen a Mackem in Peru?’ #nufc #machupicchu

Now there’s an incentive to row/paddle that little bit quicker!! Mind you, nothing makes me swim faster in a river than a piece of floating, pink toilet paper!!

There is no getting away from the fact that Gabriel really is a proper knob!

Other than the Ipswich defence, is Old Trafford’s drainage system still leaking as well?

Pawson man, get in the fucking bin….! You’ve single-handedly done #itfc dirty there!!! The Greek Policeman’s favourite pats it down into his own path, you had FECK ALL ELSE to look at, and you still can’t blow?!?!

Unashamedly stolen from FB!! 🤣🤣🤣 #nufc

Wifey just came and asked why I haven’t got out of bed yet…… I went full-on Savio and blamed it on ‘muscle fatigue’….! 🤣🤣🤣

I think I may have unearthed why Spurs are having issues…..!!! This spectacular example of spunkonionship may have something to do with It. Maybe concentrate your efforts elsewhere, bellend!! #nufc 🤍🖤

In football, things like this are inevitable, and the reasons can be debated to the moon and back without ever knowing the truth. Sir Eddie and his team did us proud for a while. Celebrate that. Very few people had him on their ‘new manager bingo card’. Gaffer, best wishes for the future, & thanks

Here it is. My manifesto for the 2026 Clacton By-Election. It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Join me, clean up Clacton and let's make 13th August Bin Day! #VoteBinface #VoteyMcVoteface #YesWeTinCan

Mull never disappoints!! Slianté!

I hope this game isn’t as long and drawn out as those two anthems! #worldcup

Some serious digging in and building a lead by England here……..!!!! 🤷🏻‍♂️🙈🤬 That said, I’ve prepared a better track in my back garden!!!

#IPL Sooryavanshi is the Luke Littler of cricket!

“I would love it if Tripps starts in goal against West Ham!”

If CaVARnagh is sent to look at that, he can then see Rice fouling first. Holding, not once but twice before any arm across Reyes. Not once, but twice….!!! He rules out the goal to give the pen and books Rice! 🤷🏻‍♂️ Explain it to me otherwise!

Alex Neil pleading foul for that Souter goal #LCFC 🤣🤣🤣🤣! PROPER HEADER!!

In fairness, I’d be as chuffed as he is if I dropped that amount of 💩 after a long day hiking!!

#nufc

Gorgeous out there again today.! The dogs are out there somewhere, but rabbits are far more interesting apparently!

Add up injuries, suspensions, loss of form for some, but never overlook this one, undeniable fact. The one person where it took the seriousness of pneumonia to prevent him working. 3 matches he missed, 3 matches!! He has lived & breathed this club since the day he walked in. Show some respect! #nufc

Peter Wankes and Paul Tierney are the Laurel and Hardy of PGMOL! #nufc

So all this bollox about #nufc felt that BDB ‘may have’ been pushed into an offside position…….! No ‘may have’ about it. Clear as day.

Sir Ian McKellen performing a monologue from Shakespeare’s Sir Thomas More on the Stephen Colbert show. Never have I heard this monologue performed with such a keen sense of prescience. Nor have I ever been in this exact historical moment.TY Sir Ian, for reaching us once again. #Pinks #ProudBlue

My wife got 2 cinema tickets for Melania yesterday. While walking the dog this morning, I ceremoniously nailed mine to a tree! Went back tonight and someone has nicked the nail!!!

Humour me…. If Gyokeres doesn’t withdraw his knee it deflects into the goal off him. However the act of withdrawing said knee isn’t deemed going active! This in comparison with the farce that arose out of Haaland/Thiaw smacks a little bit of double standards!

I wasn’t up with the Trafford boo boys tonight, but jealousy gets you nowhere fellas! His footwork for the Wissa header save, and the distance he gets kicking off the floor is streets ahead of Popey. It wasn’t a bad volley technique either!

2-0 is always a dangerous lead. Next goal wins…! BDB hat trick!!

Wissa mate, what the actual fuck are you about tonight?

I just followed a Keith Downie #nufc link about Fab’s ankle. Unfortunately it took me to the festering grokspot. Within 4 posts it reminded me why I left. What an absolute cesspit!

Dear Newcastle United, Please can I apply for this man’s stewarding role. He is clearly a Mackem, or some other form of imposter. Either replace him, or remind him that if he was that up-close-and-personal after that, he should at least have a fucking smile on his face! #nufc

The noise when that went in was insane! Just hope Brenda 3 seats down was hanging her head in shame on Barrack Road after leaving on 95 minutes!

You score 3? We'll score 4. That one's for you Kev 👑

Justin Hood, I’m coming for a Kung Po on opening night!! #pdc #darts #doubletrouble

OK..!! You got me!! #pdc #darts #paddypower

Hats off David Munyua!!!!! 🇰🇪 That was brilliant!!! #pdcdarts #darts

Norwich Shitty fans singing, ‘You’re not fit to referee’ when they’re winning as a result of him missing the handball that gave them the lead, is as amusing as it is ironic!

Happy 100th Birthday to the man responsible for my favourite Dick Pic! Congratulations Dick Van Dyke!

This is insane!!!! The Orange Man Baby will probably fill it with all his pals! Anyone remember Berlin 1936!! www.bbc.co.uk/sport/footba...

Gordon does NOT deserve to start ahead of Barnes on the left..! January window, straight swap for the Egyptian 🐀.!

My cricketing idol, Portsmouth net buddy, Bournemouth relationship advisor, and Cowherds ‘swift half’ companion. Sleep well Judgey, RIP. 😢

There’s nothing that says you’re getting old as when you spend more in a week on ibuprofen as you do on alcohol.!

Or as the French say, ‘Newcastle away’!

I’ve got half a dozen idiots in my Y9 class who have a better grasp of experiential learning than some of our lot..! #nufc

The Metro doesn’t usually sound like this! #nufc