Charles

She was known for her extreme secrecy. For example, none of the Tenenbaums knew she was a smoker, which she had been since the age of twelve.

That taxi has a dent in it.

Why are you wearing pajamas? Do you live here?

#Sinners

idk . someone probably should’ve asked fred 😬

Immediately after making this statement, Royal realized that it was true.

yes

[bragging to my date about how I could definitely kick Grimace's ass when her expression suddenly changes] he's behind me isn't he?

soccer’s the kicking one

the five words every woman wants to hear

Screaming

It's not too late to order some free Covid tests from USPS. If RFK Jr becomes HHS, there is a good chance this program will be cut. Get your free tests while you can. special.usps.com/testkits

cars should be built with non-refillable gas tanks. they roll out of the factory with full tanks, and once they're empty, the car goes straight to the scrap yard. this would create lots of jobs

Willy Wonka: *presses intercom button* Do not let that car leave the premises, make sure it and the OSHA inspector driving it are never seen again

I lied. There’s no sex. Get dressed, we have to steal the Declaration of Independence.

You don't get bonus points for detailing your year of naughty and nice in Excel. Santa literally does not give a shit about Microsoft

🎵that’s me in the corner. that’s me in my sweatpants, eating my doritos🎵

I love cold chocolate milk. I like how it feels when it goes in me

Welcome back 'cotta

ive had 4 beautiful women say to me Thank you. Thank you for coming to the halloween party as White Urkel , and Challenging the idea of Race

THE DARK TOWER: THE FLOATING EYES (2003) Oil on Panel - 15" x 10" This painting only appears in the Artist and Limited Editions of The Dark Tower by Stephen King. 1/2