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@sunwheats.bsky.social

artist 🕊️🌻🌾 cm: https://vgen.co/ba-mot

75 followers9 following121 posts

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@sunwheats.bsky.social

was able to scribble something out right before i leave, but i'll be away on a vacation to japan!! 🗾✈️ so all art work will be on pause during these dates. i've never traveled before, so this will be quite the experience 🥹 see you all when i get back!

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@sunwheats.bsky.social

kind of insane that i'll be in japan during fanfest..this was not planned, i already planned and paid for this trip before we even got the date 🥹 i do plan to visit the eorzea cafe while i'm there but..perhaps it might be too much of a warzone to try and reserve a time during the actual event 💦

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@sunwheats.bsky.social

giggling like a schoolgirl that this year's all saints wake just so happens to start on alm's nameday 🤭 (who was absolutely meant to be a vampire themed lala before i developed his personality/lore)

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@sunwheats.bsky.social

finally finished albus' present canon refsheet 🦟🪽 this is by no means a comprehensive guide to his lore (there really is just Way Too Much) but i fit in as much info as i could 🙏

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@sunwheats.bsky.social

writing material for his new refsheet, albus is canonically supposed to be skinnier in present day for Lore reasons, and yet my brain keeps going into autopilot mode and drawing him chonky like

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@sunwheats.bsky.social

avoiding learning how to draw masculine/middle aged men like the plague for the past 15 years because i am way too les for there to be any possibility on earth that i would ever want to draw one. well guess what this stupid bitch idiot slur slur slur is struggling to do right now

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@sunwheats.bsky.social

a really scary thought just dawned on me. i'm not sure how noticable it is that i've sort of drifted away from drawing albus this year and that my connection to him has been..not the best. i've been working a lot behind the scenes on a whole new refsheet and story overhaul but it kind of just hit me

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@sunwheats.bsky.social

i'll probably *eventually* limp my way towards finishing this refsheet and posting his story for all of 3 people that are interested in seeing where he's at these days. and..maybe that will be my sunsetting of albus. a goodbye kiss of sorts. it would be on brand for his current whereabouts i guess

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@sunwheats.bsky.social

i hate to sound so dramatic but shit's rough man. hopefully my feelings magically change, it's certainly possible. maybe ec is so amazing that it will inspire something! otherwise i'll be sona-less for..god idk probably forever. i'm never going to have a character like albus ever again.

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@sunwheats.bsky.social

a really scary thought just dawned on me. i'm not sure how noticable it is that i've sort of drifted away from drawing albus this year and that my connection to him has been..not the best. i've been working a lot behind the scenes on a whole new refsheet and story overhaul but it kind of just hit me

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@sunwheats.bsky.social

do i..even still care to finish that project anymore? do i still care about albus. hell, do i still care about ffxiv? sure, i've been enjoying other fandoms lately but my love for either of these things *should* be timeless. i know albus is extremely important to me but..is he..?

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@sunwheats.bsky.social

it freaks me out to think that i'm drifting towards the answer being "no". idk. life happens i guess. but i don't know how i'm going to feel as an artist if i lose my one truest most special important basically sona (i won't rant about all the reasons for that or else this will be 50 posts long)

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@sunwheats.bsky.social

sorry to post on this game but im so mad!!!!!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CHOKE ON THE FINAL TURN AFTER 40MIN OF BEING IN THIS FIGHT!!! I'M THE FAKEST GAMER ALIVE AND I LOST THE FUNNY VICTORY SCREEN!!! (this ss is taken way earlier in the fight, this is just the point the fight became play perfect or die)

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@sunwheats.bsky.social

further context: i started a new file to get specific screenshots and then i realized i can do a really stupid challenge and fight a beginner trap troll boss but as early in the game as possible. i got it down to near 1hp and then i choked the literal last parry 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

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@sunwheats.bsky.social

i don't know how obvious it is but albus has literally just become my emotional dumping ground for all of my eating problems/unhealthy relationship with food (or lack thereof). unfortunately that's gotten worse this year so starving animal albus will be the only form i draw him in for a while 💦

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@sunwheats.bsky.social

i know i said i was going to let myself be personal and cringe on this account but inb4 i nuke this account just like i always do because i exploded from shame and embarrassment for committing the Crime of Having An Emotion in front of 5 people on social media (nonironic, this is hard for me)

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@sunwheats.bsky.social

i do find it a bit ironic that albus is a character that wears his heart openly, never pretends, doesn't know how to be deceptive really. but his speech being reduced to just animal sounds (which i try to convey through scribble text) unintentionally makes it so that everything he says is obfuscated

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@sunwheats.bsky.social

if nothing else, it has a side effect of forcing me to try and get better at drawing specific expressions/body language for him. jury's out if i'm there yet skill-wise, but i still like to believe that yall can understand what's going on (albus himself doesn't have very complex thoughts anyways)

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@sunwheats.bsky.social

i attempted to make a Cool fanart concept sketch; it probably isn't readable to anyone but me 😂 (ignore the shittier less refined version i posted earlier)

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@sunwheats.bsky.social

this guy has no idea that this is the first time i've even stepped foot into alliance raid for 3 entire months because of how tired i got of "the crystal df experience" i want to frame this on my wall

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@sunwheats.bsky.social

also to clarify, the actual thing that got me to rage quit alliance isn't just the crystal df players(tm) but the constant totally coincidential dcs that just. always happen. coincidentially. and i have to fight with my party to kick the player when they've been gone for over half the duty 🤡

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@sunwheats.bsky.social

i am holding the e33 fanfic community legally, morally, and personally responsible for destroying all of my art productivity (i'm going to force myself to get work done now though sorry for the delays everyone 🥀)

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@sunwheats.bsky.social

this is compounded by the fact that this was the very first ex trial that i did on release/min ilv and what a way to prepare me for future exs 😂 everything after that feels easy

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@sunwheats.bsky.social

i have been itching to continue working on some of my wip albus clone cs designs but...they're all lowkey winter themed...and how am i supposed to be in the right mindset to work on them when i'm melting into goo from summer heat ☀️🪦

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@sunwheats.bsky.social

but yall have no idea how many physical merch projects i have in endless wip, like that is my most TOXIC artist trait 😭 i used to make so many acrylic charms and sticker sheets for myself/friends and i still have that dog in me. my old ass just don't have the energy to keep up with me spirit 💀

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@sunwheats.bsky.social

GRRRRRRR I NEED TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET SOME KIND OF PHYSICAL MERCH OF ALBUS (aka make my own) because..oh i feel so weird talking about my personal life but..i finally bit the bullet and booked a trip to japan..! i'm finally doing it!!! and i want him to experience the adventure..

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@sunwheats.bsky.social

in other words, i *need* to have him in my inevitable photos at the eorzea cafe when i get all the sch stuff (was i just talking about unsubbing a few days ago? yes yes but shush, i still care about this game in spirit)