amboo grease

🕯️ 🕯️ 🕯️ 🕯️ scary 🕯️ lesbians 🕯️ 🕯️ 🕯️ 🕯️ 🕯️

(werner herzog on thanksgiving) i would like to eat the gravy

how many ducks does it take to make a pair of overalls

whenever my kids leave toys out after bedtime i just step on them on purpose and when they get upset i say over and over in that tease voice “natural consequences!!! natural consequences!!” this is considered good parenting now

ha ha! ja i purchased zees boxer briefs zat look like ze penis of ze David is actually my penis. ja!! of course i vould never expose my penis publicly. zese are just a joke.

i miss my shoes i miss my denim jacket 😭😭😭😭😭

passive-aggressively showing my cat r/catswithjobs

daydreaming about bringing flowers to someone in the hospital post srs. standing offer for people in dc.

nobody understands what a flex it is that i just got my wife peonies in october

the combo of government name flying around and being way too cunty for the space makes this really something

billy evans looks like handsome william osman

oh boy i can’t wait to go to the bank 😃

with every year i become more goth

yeah i’m poly. poly gonna ruin my marriage tonight

i don’t need a vacation per se i just need to shadow a dirtbag for a week

won’t spoil for pen pal peggy pal but i cooked

everyone rightly talking about the perversion of a 44 year old grooming a 19 year old but no one is discussing the perversion of marrying someone who looks exactly like you

i owe SOMEONE a letter that i’m very excited to write and i might use it as an excuse to buy some fun paper bc i don’t believe i have a single blank sheet in my apartment

as a florist i fully support bread and roses, but i do plan to turn on the bakers once we achieve it

i’m actually upset about the wnba finals tipping off after midnight bc of a random nba regular season game. what a slap in the face.

i’m glad the workers don’t have to be there but it would slap if i could go get a coffee at this hour on those random days i can’t sleep

call me orange the way i crush

just caught something with my boobs for the first time

i’ve never even been tempted to replace my pfp until right now

i will not rest until my scary lesbians summoning circle has surpassed gandalfini the white as my most liked post

scrolling the lesbian blood wrestling pictures and passing out

guess who prepped roses today

YALL MY TEAM WON TRIVIA!!!

costume activated

(new york woman in a meeting w men) hey im talkin here!!!

count cuckula: i vant to fuck your vife

phyllis you dog!!!

Nancy 10/25/26

wait are the persistent skin issues i’ve had on my ears bc of dodgy jewelry???????

skin flake enthusiasts let me hear you make some noise!!!!!!