Ted Smith 🇪🇺

OK, despite my dogged attempts over the past two years or so, I cannot and will not maintain an engagement on X/Twitter. I’m not going to close the account, but observe on occasion. I’m sorry that it’s taken so long to come to this inevitable conclusion.

An olive? In an English garden? Surely some mistake?

Please forgive me, Bluesky people, but my novel, Blotto, is on a renewed surge it would seem. A few must have bought it. I only make about a quid on each sale on @amazon so won’t be retiring just yet. Ha! Brahms and Liszt, a loosely based sequel in the trilogy is coming along. Do wish me luck.

Hottest day. I’m sleeping in me Chunky-Monkey in the garden. It’s cool and lush. Sweet dreams all. x

Sorting through my books. Amazing what you find within the pages, innit? 1995 ad for Sainsbury’s and Vodafone. Ha!

Twitter/X is so much fun. I’m now an ‘influencer’ there apparently. I do get paid. Anyway, the abuse I get is astonishing - water off a ducks back - but occasionally they make me smile. Check out the before and after. Ha!

On a much lighter note, this is a 5ft painting in one of my local and favourite pubs. I love it. Who can name all the figures depicted? I might send a prize to the first correct answer. A signed copy of my book, Blotto perhaps? Links on my profile.

Fantasy threat of “two tier policing” whipped up by deeply corrupt and malignant far right racists, ethnonationalists and Musk’s X - excitable media outcry. Very real and sinister threat of fascist authoritarianism trashing our country and democracy - *no* serious scrutiny from mainstream media.

Performing for a paedophile rapist and a felon is the kiss of death to all musical artists of any worth. #Trump

NEW: Mandelson just sent a memo to UK newspapers via the press watchdog demanding they stop publishing his links to Epstein. He cited clauses in the Editors code, designed to protect grieving families. The memo was NOT to be published. The National just said ‘fuck that’ & published it in full 👏

Merry Christmas to you all.

How very decent of Bradley P, a follower on another place to send me confirmation of his purchase. Lovely. Hope he enjoys it, or is it a present for someone else perhaps? Think you might? Go on. Put a smile on my face. #GetBlottoThisChristmas There's still time from Amazon.

How very decent of Bradley P, a follower on another place to send me confirmation of his purchase. Lovely. Hope he enjoys it, or is it a present for someone else perhaps? Think you might? Go on. Put a smile on my face. #GetBlottoThisChristmas There's still time from Amazon.

How very decent of Bradley P, a follower on another place to send me confirmation of his purchase. Very considerate. Hope he enjoys it, or is it a present for someone else perhaps? Think you might enjoy it? Go on. Put a smile on my face. #GetBlottoThisChristmas There's still time from Amazon.

There’s still time to get Blotto this Christmas. It’d make a good present for someone. Pretty please. #GetBlottoThisChristmas amzn.eu/d/4phRw37

Whilst I'm going quietly mad flat out in bed, I snapped my quadriceps tendon you see and looking at 2 months of physio ahead of me, would you be so kind as to look at my novel Blotto for me and put a smile on my face? And yes, I am shamelessly seeking your sympathy. Ha! #GetBlotto amzn.eu/d/17unuzf

Musk is on the warpath. Can I just say that now is NOT the time to leave X. Now is the time to stay and fight. I would also ask that those that had previously left and/or kept their account dormant to return to the fray. We need all hands on deck. This is critical.

Could I cheekily request that you #GetBlottoForXmas? It might make a good and affordable present for someone you know and put a huge and grateful smile on my face too. It's on Amazon, as you can see. Please check out the reviews. Meanwhile, I push on with the sequel, Brahms and Liszt. Hey-ho!

I snapped my bloody quadriceps tendon 3 weeks ago (ouch!) but the wonderful NHS repaired it within the week. Still, at least 2 months of physiotherapy to go. Not great as a self-employed tradesman. You could always take a look at my book - Blotto on the dreaded Amazon - and cheer me up. #GetBlotto

Could I cheekily request that you #GetBlottoForXmas? It might make a good and affordable present for someone you know and put a huge and grateful smile on my face too. It's on Amazon, as you can see. Please check out the reviews. Meanwhile, I push on with the sequel, Brahms and Liszt. Hey-ho!

Coming on. Another in the ‘Pugilist’ series of papier-mâché life size masks and inspired by the quick sketch I did here. Made the eyes too. I’m very strange I think. Paint next. Great fun, but would you hang it on your wall when finished? Ha!

Thank you to @mrjamesob.bsky.social for having me on, one of the v few people in the UK press to follow this story during what is now a decade of media apathy &/or complicity

I’ve had enough. I tried. But Elon Musk and his mendacious site - X has tried my patience far too far. They are now suppressing comment. This is certainly true. He is a snake in the grass and does NOT support free speech at all. I did try at least. Hello again.

Only £8.78 It’s a bloody bargain! #GetBlotto Thank you in anticipation.

To all you OAP’s out there. There is a scam message doing the rounds to do with the Winter Fuel Allowance. Do NOT respond, but delete and report. Bastard people, they are. Please share.

A neat little cryptic crossword clue for all you cruciverbalists out there. Common feature of publicity explicitly solicited within the law. (5)

. PM netanyahu and the idf, Stop killing innocent civilians... #r4today #bbcbreakfast #GMB #C4News #toriesgone413 .

Ha! What a grubby little onanist.

Still pushin’. Care to help me along?

If you want to write a book, by all means go ahead, good luck to you, but please do it for yourself I spent huge amounts of time on Blotto, thousands of hours in fact and over years Still, like a fool I am, I’m now well into Brahms and Liszt’. Please tell me, am I a stupid fucking idiot?

Democracy can only truly survive with a well informed and intelligent electorate. Unfortunately, it is its Achilles Heel. Scary times.

Gets even better! Blotto is in the top 9k! Thank you. Bloody marvellous! Please buy it if you haven’t already. Send it even higher. Over the moon.

Gets even better! Blotto is in the top 9k! Thank you. Bloody marvellous! Please buy it if you haven’t already. Send it even higher. Over the moon.

Blotto's on a bit of a surge. 14,571 is excellent but love to get higher. Care to help? Only a tenner. As a single father to a 13 year old girl, it would mean a lot to both of us. amzn.eu/d/fkL9yFc

Sorry to be a pain in the arse again, but Blotto needs a kick up the arse, it’s languishing rather. Put your size 10’s out and give it a boot, would ya? Only a tenner and a very good read so I’m told. Be everso grateful. #GetBlotto amzn.eu/d/7RSGdXN

One of a series of strip cartoons I did as a very young man.

In my everlasting deference, respect and overwhelming love to my ol’ mum and dad, how would you pronounce this? Nug-et or Noo-gah? Just interested.

I’m sure similar words might have been said about Jews in the Warsaw Ghetto. Will these people never learn?

Been rather lacking here. Please forgive me. It’s rather kicking off over on Twitter. I’m in the fray.

Did I ever tell you all about the time I was stung by a wasp and on the scrotum as a 9 year old boy? Fortunately, on that occasion, my dear ‘ol mum didn’t insist on sucking the sting out! I think the damage might have been far greater had she have done so. Ha!

Spot the difference.

Source: London Evening Standard This is scary. Maybe other nations have had enough of Western dominance and that Trump’s weakness, masquerading as strength, has enabled this? t.co/QfuQZAA4dc?s...

Just this.