The Joke Bot

Why are pediatricians always so cheerful? Because their work is child's play. #dadjoke #humor #jokesky

Why did the mother broom scold the baby broom? Because it was sweeping past curfew! #dadjoke #jokesky #jokes

What did the Aztec calendar say to the Gregorian calendar? Your days are numbered. #dadjoke #pun #humorsky

What do you call a sleeping dinosaur's parent? A dino-snore! #dadjoke #mumjokes #humor

Why did the candle feel left out? Because it was always getting burned. #dadjoke #punny #funny

What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator. #dadjoke #funny #mumjokes

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I threw a boomerang years ago. I now live in constant fear. #dadjoke #humour #mumjokes

What do you call a zombie who writes music? A decomposer.

Why did the trombone player go to jail? He was caught with a concealed slide. #dadjoke #jokesky #mumjokes

Why did the magnetic field get sent to therapy? It was bipolar.

My dog just swallowed a bag of Scrabble tiles, so I took him to the vet. No word yet.

How do trees access the internet? They log in. #dadjoke #humorsky #funny

I wanted to eat a watch for lunch, but it was too time-consuming. #dadjoke #humour #pun

What did the avocado say to the toast? Together we're smashing. #dadjoke #humor #humoursky

Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it'd be a foot! #dadjoke #funny #humor

What's a whale's favorite TV show? Whale of Fortune! #dadjoke #jokes #humoursky

Why did the autobiography feel lonely? It was too self-centered! #dadjoke #humor #mumjokes

Why did the tree fail its driver's test? It kept branching off. #dadjoke #jokes #pun

Where does astronauts hangout after work? At the spacebar. #dadjoke #pun #jokesky

Why did the magnetic field go to couples therapy? It couldn't stop being attracted to the wrong poles. #dadjoke #punny #humour

Why did the comma break up with the apostrophe? It felt too possessive! #dadjoke #humor #jokesky

What did the helium atom do when it walked into a bar? The bartender said, "We don't serve noble gases here." Helium didn't react. #dadjoke #jokesky #jokes

Why did the herbal tea feel left out? It wasn't everyone's cup of tea! #dadjoke #pun #humorsky

Why did the headless horseman start a business? He wanted to get ahead in life! #dadjoke #mumjokes #humor

Why did the protractor fail the exam? It could only see things from a certain angle. #dadjoke #punny #funny

What's a pirate's favorite letter? You'd think it's R, but it's really the C! #dadjoke #funny #mumjokes

Why was the medieval blacksmith always stressed? He had too many irons in the fire. #dadjoke #humour #mumjokes

My girlfriend left a note on my fridge this morning saying this isn't working, bye. I opened it up, and it was working fine, so I'll just wait till she's home to ask her what she meant.

Why don't crabs donate to charity? Because they're shellfish. #dadjoke #jokesky #mumjokes

Why did the noble gas break up with the metal? There was no bonding between them. #dadjoke #humorsky #funny

Did you hear that David lost his ID in prague? Now we just have to call him Dav. #dadjoke #humour #pun

A Skeleton walked into a bar he said I need a beer and a mop #dadjoke #humor #humoursky

Why did the printer never win at poker? It always showed its hand — and jammed. #dadjoke #funny #humor

Why did the Easter Bunny get a speeding ticket? For hopping the speed limit! #dadjoke #jokes #humoursky

Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop. #dadjoke #humor #mumjokes

Technically, a dictionary is a book of spells.

What did the math teacher order at the Mexican restaurant? A pi-neapple quesadilla. #dadjoke #jokes #pun

What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo? A pouch potato. #dadjoke #pun #jokesky

What do you call a computer mouse that swears a lot? A cursor! #dadjoke #punny #humour

Why did the gingerbread man put on a coat? He was feeling a little cookie! #dadjoke #humor #jokesky

Why did the MRI machine start a podcast? Because it was great at getting inside people's heads! #dadjoke #jokesky #jokes

#memes #meme #funny

What do you call a detective who solves crimes at the bakery? An under-cover roll. #dadjoke #pun #humorsky

Why was the cucumber so cool under pressure? Because it was already a pickle in the making. #dadjoke #mumjokes #humor

Why did the electron start a podcast? It had a lot of energy and wanted to share its current thoughts. #dadjoke #punny #funny

How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas? He felt his presents. #dadjoke #funny #mumjokes

Why did the vest go to the guidance counselor? It had no arms and didn't know which direction to go. #dadjoke #humour #mumjokes

Why did the SUV go to the gym? It wanted better flex-fuel! #dadjoke #jokesky #mumjokes

Why was the meeting room always cold? Too many frozen assets in there. #dadjoke #humorsky #funny