TimothyMiller Author

If you should come across one or all of these books somewhere in the wild, won't you open up your hearts and take them home? They'll love you just as much as you love them, and they won't claw up the furniture.

Instead of searching for noncitizen voters and antifa terrorists, couldn't the feds hunt for unicorns and pots of gold at the end of rainbows? Or an honest man in Washington DC?

Damn. That was TOUGH. This is exactly the energy I want every liberal to have in their cities right now. What a fucking bad ass, strong, powerful woman. We need 1000 more of her in government IMMEDIATELY!!!

Of course, if the Democrats do win the Senate, it means they can block any Supreme Court noms by DJT (as McConnell has shown). Almost certainly a Democratic president would choose the next two justices, leading to a 5-4 majority for the left. There's something to warm the cockles of your heart.

Not only is Putin not a humanitarian, I'd revoke his credentials as a human. He's a soulless husk of a human. Then there's his ventriloquist's dummy, DJT. You can see Putin's lips move every time Trump speaks. And then there's the dummy's dummy, Steve Witkoff.

Steve Witkoff, America's diplomatic plenipotentiary, called Putin a "humanitarian." Sheer stupidity or absoute amorality?

Congratulations, Vivek Ramaswamy. You have managed to go even lower than DJT. Who knew it was possible?

He was a Long Beach city employee for almost a decade and has no reported criminal record, but none of that mattered to Trump’s ICE agents. In Trump’s America, if you simply look like Ricardo, if you look like me, they’ll arrest you and throw you to the ground.

I cannot understand why DJT doesn't like Zelenskyy. I mean, the guy's got a great ass, right?

Joni Mitchell, 82, who has lived here since the 60s, became a citizen last week so she could vote in America. VOTE. Joni is watching. www.theguardian.com/music/2026/o...

Katie Zacharia was NOT fired. She's resigned in order to spend more time with the bar exam.

Just to clear things up: I could have been a lawyer too, if I had set out a shingle. Or passed the bar exam. Or been to law school. Or taken the LSAT. Or ... knew any laws. I coulda been a contender.

With the firing squad livestream canceled, Magas will only have the Melania movie to turn to for their serving of cruel and unusual punishment.

Kimberly G wasn't fired for being a grifter. She was fired for being a BAD grifter.

The Nobel committee should promise Trump a Peace Prize if he'll resign immediately. After all, it's the move most likely to bring peace to the planet.

Obviously we need to nationalize Starlink.

We need a fresh face for our ambassador to Greece. Does Barron have any ex-girlfriends?

Breaking news: Amelia Earhart is believed dead.

I still don't understand why Columbus gets a day but Cincinnatti and Cleveland get nothing.

Could it be that all those immigrants still want to come to America because it's the one place on earth that America is least likely to bomb?

Okay, so DJT didn't win the Peace Prize, but I hear he's a shoe-in for the Miss Congeniality award.

DJT didn't win the Nobel Peace Prize even though he only started ONE war this year. What do they expect, perfection?

If you're going to try to bribe voters, DJT, you'd best be cutting million dollar checks. Anything lower feels like an insult at this point.

First Dennis Hastert, now Jim Bakker? Say, Old Man in the Sky, you looking for a third pervert to complete the set? Have I got a deal for you ...

It's this simple, I. think. If you're in a menage a huit with a drunk drugged girl and you don't know you're doing something drastically wrong, then you're so drunk you've already passed out.

30 days till elections. I don't know if the Dems will win the House and Senate. But they'd better be preparing right now in case they do, with an avalanche of new bills to set things in this country on a better path. Because the American people are out of patience.

The Nobel Prize in literature is going to be announced this week. Which just makes me feel like a big idiot because once again I forgot to send in an application.

Okay, so DJT is an 80-year-old in the throes of deep dementia. What's Pete Hegseth's excuse?

The copilot stabbed the pilot on a plane headed to Tel Aviv, apparently planning to crash the plane. Maybe now people when listen to Tuberville's furry warnings. Damn furries.

Breaking news: Sen, Eric Schmitt discovers Jack Smith was at Ford's Theatre on April 14, 1865. Accuses dirtbag of Lincoln's assassination. Correction: Smith was at Richard Rogers Theatre in NY on August 24, 2025, attending showing of Hamilton.

Trump's chief AI advisor.

as a satire on so-called late stage capitalism how could one beat investors pouring a trillion into a company offering to wipe out humankind

RepubliKKKans Are Bad For America, Vote Accordingly.......💙

Why is Trump so sold on AI? He wants to put bots on the ground in Iran.

EVERY GOP CANDIDATE IS RUNNING SCARED! From Greg Abbot, to Dan Patrick, to Ken Paxton 🐔💩💩💩 who refuse to show up for Texans.

Things are getting so bad for Republicans that Trump is going to have to stage another assassination attempt. Maybe two.

At the request of the military and for National Security purposes, I have agreed to convert the president's car into Optimus Prime, a sentient robot that has the ability to lift over 2,000 tons, shoot lasers, and shift between a semi-truck and a giant robot. THERE IS NO CAR LIKE THIS IN THE WORLD."

Trump's response to rumors that he wants to stamp his name on Ford's Theatre: "It is FAKE NEWS! Who would possibly want a name on such a tragic place?” Dude, you want to put a triumphal arch in front of Arlington National Cemetery.

He's about to announce new ICBM silos at the Kennedy Center. And possibly machine-gun towers at Mar-a-Lago. It just stands to reason.

DJT has promised to add an AI Force to his Space Force. I'm sure a Crypto Force will follow. May I sugget a Food Force, a Health Force, and a Rent Force? Oh, and maybe an Epstein Force?

f he'd going to try to demolish the Kennedy Center, he'll do it on a weekend. Like this weekend. Probably at night. Like tonight.

Trump bans, CNN, MSNOW, and Politico from the White House. There'a badge of honor for you.

Word is, he's contemplating firing John Roberts and replacing him with Natalie Harp.

It's not AI that will kill us. Imagine if private companies were in charge of nuclear weapons. The murderer is capitalism.

People are asking why a rich kid like Trump Junior would need the Russkies to pick up the tab for his wedding? 1) Trumps never pay for anything themselves. 2) No matter how rich they are, they always want more. 3) You don't say no to Uncle Vlad.

We've all seen this movie.

I don't get this. Democrats have one day to vote, November 3rd, but Republicans get two days --November 4 AND 5! That doesn't seem fair.

Here's a liitle tip for you all.

What's depressing is that if DJT promised every American a unicorn for standing on their heads and singing Dixie, the talking heads would debate the cost and whether Congress would approve. It's a UNICORN, ferchrissake!

Okay, so Trump fell asleep while sitting through Hegseth's speech today. An uncommonly wise use of his time. But why were he and Melania sitting at all? The ex-presidents do not seem to have been sitting at Ground Zero.

WHY did Trump promise $5,000 if Repubs win the House and Senate? Because he knows they're not going to. And he can then blame the Democrats for Americans not getting their goodies.