tomik2point0

Paris is burning.

Y'all, what's the tea with UV Club? Can the girls show nudes on there? I'm not tryna subscribe for no fuckin' underwear pics.

Gonna try using Muse to recover my FB account that was hacked a few years ago. That's the only use case I have for it.

Everytime Stephanie Mills opens her mouth I want to disrespect my elders. Why is she so messy?

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It's Fire Prevention Week in New York City. Learn more about fire safety at fdnysmart.org.

New post up! I'm getting a head start on 2027 with a planning method I've had bookmarked for two years. Also, I saw Digger today and think the reviews are getting it wrong. And if you're a Tomik's Diary subscriber, there's some (good) personal news waiting for you at the end. 🤸🏽‍♂️

NYC art peeps, you should def apply for this. I used to work for an arts org that got funding from the city, but I love that they fund individual artists also. The type of art they fund is incredibly expensive. Shoot your shot!

If I get on a video call with you for anything work-related and you're in the car, I automatically think that you're unprofessional af.

These videos of the Backstreet Boys' new show in Germany... 🤯😮🤩 Give them the fucking Super Bowl! Immediately.

God don't like ugly.

Instagram need to gon head and sunset them Instants.

Just watched a mom walk into a coffee shop with a stroller and her dachshund. She ordered two pup cups—one for the baby and one for the dog. And in case you're wondering, yes, yes she is.

I can't stand a bitch with no inside voice. Like, why are you so LOUD?!

Gen-Z gays will break up and then post a twelve, five-minute TikToks about it. And girl, I be SEATED.

I've had "big as a houseboat bitch" stuck in my head all week.

I just came across a GoFundMe for an OF creator who died from a self-inflicted, extreme toy wound. I'm begging y'all to leave these octopus tentacles and dragons alone. Stick to the rivers and lakes that you're used to.

It's MNEK Day for those who celebrate.

Eczema commercials be doin' too much.

Every celebrity has a podcast now. I miss when podcasts were all regular people.

I want Chet Hanks and Ray J to do a new version of The Simple Life.

<Shazam's something. Says, "Oh," and proceeds to never look it up again.>

We don't use the phrase "unmitigated gall" enough.

Every podcast bro I've heard explain gooning explains it wrong. Like... just talk to a gooner. They're everywhere! I explain gooning as white nonsense. But I'm not a gooner. So to my own point, I'm probably wrong. But I promise I could find five actual gooners to explain it more accurately.

Shout out to the one person on every GoFundMe with a profile pic.

I think we strayed too far from God with alcohol-free mouthwash. Burn that mouth up, boo.

New Kash Doll... whew! 🔥🔥🔥

Are women into feet?

Did all the hood wing spots get together and say, let's raise our prices?

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Tag your barber/hairdresser when you post that "fresh cut/color" post on IG. They will appreciate it. You look busted without them. Sincerely, a former hairdresser who got a lot of business from clients tagging me.

It really is better in 70mm IMAX

Streamer University got me. I followed two of them jawns.

Harmless Harvest is the Martinelli's of coconut wataaa.

Just got my first order for my new business, Fire Island Flyers! 🤸🏽‍♂️ fi-flyers.com

Make reveals a surprise again.

The son of the man shot and killed by ICE: I am Ronaldo Salgado, the oldest son of Lorenzo Salgado Araujo. He should've been picking up the last of his guys before heading to finish up construction. Unbeknownst to all of us, my dad had been shot inside his van by ICE agents in unmarked cars.

I love how "Morning Dew (Donk)" is a full song. Four full minutes! Remember when songs used to be four minutes?

I get the ick when dudes say "brother" like Cam Newton.

In Jesus name, what is going on w the brows? They're not sisters. They're not cousins. Ancestry test came back, "No matches found." #LoveIslandUSA

Carl needs to be on The Bachelor. #LoveIslandUSA

Gal is gay. #LoveIslandUSA

Corbin and Parmida need to drop the OF link as soon as they leave the villa. They'll make more money than any brand deals plan on throwing at them. #LoveIslandUSA

When Netflix asks me if I'm interested in "Shows with a strong female lead" it's basically saying, "Here fa**ot!"

In HBO’s Bang My Box: The Robin Byrd Story, the public-access icon reflects on sex, censorship, queer survival, and why she has always been ahead of her time.

I love Lauryn Hill, but an icon award? She made one solo album in 30 years. Yes, it's an amazing album, and I know a lot of amazing artists look up to her. But ONE solo album in 30 years does not an icon make! #BETAwards