Topoltergeist

We flew to a college graduation at Syracuse once and on the way back we were over Niagra Falls. The pilot announced it over the intercom and wiggled (technical term) the plane around a bit so both sides of the plane could look down on it

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My mom, who had never seen the falls went with “wow, I always thought it’d be more impressive in real life”. My dad, without missing a beat, “more impressive? we are 5 miles away!”

Denny Carter@dennycarter.bsky.social

there are too many big skeletons in yards during halloween season now. it's too much. everywhere i look another fifteen foot skeleton. we have to stop the sale of giant skeletons until we figure out what the hell is going on.

Eat, Pray, Liver

amy brown 👻@amybrown.xyz

the advent of AI tools has led us to create a whole new category of posting

Throwing a grenade motion: jon Ossoff is piccolo

jamelle@jamellebouie.net

saw someone compare mamdani to goku and el-sayed to vegeta and that seems right to me

Voted to raise my property taxes $700 annually until I pay off my mortgage

Leaning to my wife while watching the 31st film: That’s the Sun

ceej@ceej.online

polyphonic spree interconnected biopics where you have to watch 75 individual movies to get the whole story

Seems unfair that the three remaining teams have only played the NL in the world series

The video is an old interview with a very high Harrison Ford about filming the Temple of Doom went

lauren@lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com

I turned off the dodger game a while ago because i needed to focus on a youtube video called "Round-shot was Horrifying"

V/h/s mixtape was bad

Topoltergeist reposted

Replying to @dinger.tv

We regret the error

Cool thing about inflation. Plumber just came out and it cost less than a weeks worth of groceries

Bear Wednesday

Made Shakshuka

Walking into my kids room an hour after cleaning it

Still going 1/11

boxscore.online@boxscore.online

@topogeom.bsky.social Bracket #1,878 of 2,048 is yours. TB over CHC in the World Series. Issued once, never again.

Me (2 seconds after saying the dumbest shit you’ve ever heard): You can’t make this up.

youtube.comFuck Her GentlyYouTube video by Tenacious D - Topic

11 Sept

We got drunk at boarding school (11th and 12th grade only, this was 11th) and recorded this one night in our dorm, I was lead vocals. We saved it on our shared network and it got out, mainly people thought it was dumb funny. A senior found it and shared it with my sister, who had graduated.

the beggars out of here getter@milesklee.bsky.social

there was one show we did on a big parents weekend and i somehow convinced them to let us do my rendition of this one, previously reserved just for student audiences. the sheer horror on those old WASP faces was extraordinary

11 Sept

Cut to thanksgiving, i show up at my grandmother’s house and everyone is laughing. My sister played it for my extended family including multiple >80 yr olds before I got there. The disappointment on their faces when they found out I didn’t write it is my personal 9/11.

7 Sept

Over here trying to grill and these bills keep piling up

25 Aug

Tanks flying half-mast today

22 Aug

Just spent $22

21 Aug

Mrs. Duffy showing feet here is CRAZY

FactPost@factpostnews.bsky.social

Sean Duffy tells his daughter she cannot go to Harvard because they have "professionalized figuring out how they can take good young girls and corrupt their minds"

wired.com‘Your Excel Skills Suck’: The Power Users Turning Spreadsheets Into a Spectator SportData and finance professionals are competing in Excel obstacle courses—amassing huge followings and keeping the Microsoft program relevant.

19 Aug

As a real excel knower, these are the guy who makes the dunk contest each year but can’t get out of the D-league. Showboats Frauds Let me see that irr impact from the new mortality assumption on 5 million policies nerds

the beggars out of here getter@milesklee.bsky.social

You lied on your résumé about being "proficient" at Microsoft Excel, but these spreadsheet ninjas didn't. And while they first made a splash on social media by sharing tips and tricks to master the software, they now have hundreds of thousands of fans who just want to watch their hypnotic speedruns:

nyti.msForty First Dates and Still SearchingJoseph Pascaretta has spent roughly $65,000 on high-end matchmaking services. Will it help him find the love of his life?

18 Aug

Dude wants a participation trophy wife

The New York Times@nytimes.com

Joseph Pascaretta has spent roughly $65,000 on high-end matchmaking services. Will it help him find the love of his life?

18 Aug

Austin Powers’ Frank Stallone

K. Thor Jensen@kthorjensen.bsky.social

thinking about this guy and now you have to think about him too

16 Aug

Snoopy

River_Tam@rivertam.bsky.social

Who's the most famous person whose phone number you currently do not have but could get in 24 hours.

Topoltergeist reposted

HOME RUN Joshua Báez (3) 368 ft (25°, 99.8 mph) off Matthew Boyd (83.0 mph Slider, 2474 rpm) STL 6-CHC 3 (T6, 1-0, 0 outs) https://www.mlb.com/video/matthew-boyd-in-play-run-s-to-joshua-baez-qrfcoo

Baez might get 5 today

Just reposting everything baez

Topoltergeist reposted

Brent Maguire

@bmags94.bsky.social

Replying to @bmags94.bsky.social

Joshua Báez has homered THREE times in his MLB debut. Unreal.

Topoltergeist reposted

Patrick Daugherty

@rotopat.bsky.social

#Joshua Báez

Topoltergeist reposted

HOME RUN Joshua Báez (2) 382 ft (30°, 97.6 mph) off Matthew Boyd (77.8 mph Changeup, 1650 rpm) STL 4-CHC 3 (T4, 3-2, 0 outs) https://www.mlb.com/video/joshua-baez-homers-2-on-a-fly-ball-to-left-field-epu6hx

Topoltergeist reposted

HOME RUN Joshua Báez (1) 449 ft (33°, 108.6 mph) off Matthew Boyd (93.4 mph 4-seam, 2150 rpm) STL 3-CHC 0 (T1, 0-0, 2 outs) https://www.mlb.com/video/joshua-baez-homers-1-on-a-fly-ball-to-center-field-alec-burleson-scores-xna4aq

Baez!

13 Aug

Imagine this being your day

12 Aug

He was dating Whoopi Goldberg at the time! She was there!

Garfield and Friends Screens@garfieldscreens.bsky.social

11 Aug

This is how I use the Nintendo Music app for my kids. “No we can’t have ice cream tonight, here’s ‘Bowser’ from super mario world 2: Yoshi’s Island”

Kevin M. Kruse@kevinmkruse.bsky.social

There's so much psychotic shit in this story about Max Miller, but this part of his origin story might be the weirdest

1 Aug

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29 July

Replace “sexual assault” with “murder” and see where that logic takes you.

Michael Tracey@m-tracey.bsky.social

The only person who accuses him of "sexual assault" in this article is you. There is no allegation of sexual assault sourced to the purported victim herself. Why is that? Why would you not include any direct quotes from the purported victim alleging sexual assault, if that's what is being alleged?

18 July

Christopher Nolan is below Michael Bay and just above Harmony Korine on any serious persons director tier list. The Odessey further confirms this

lauren@lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com

this is getting dunked on but i respect it. midbie account bait is a dying art form

16 July

Who up practicing their Hereditary mouth noises