Twilight Drive

I like my coffee with just one shot of Novichok

She’s gorgeous but looks at her phone when walking her dog so

Can we stop interviewing bone deep stupid MAGA voters? We get it. America likes them stupid. It’s an American privilege to lick paint.

BREAKING: Sources at Amazon MGM have told Deadline that the next James Bond will be “whoever shows up to the audition first” because “who gives a shit.”

I didn’t think WEAPONS was that good. BARBARIAN was better.

you put your guitar in a case so that ghosts will not play wonderwall in the night

Those Criterion Closet videos always stress me out. As the guests load up on DVDs I keep waiting for someone offscreen to shout “OKAY, THAT’S ENOUGH.” Molly Ringwald almost gave me a heart attack after filling her bag and apparently piling stuff on the floor. Still recovering.

I love being alone.

Superb.

Can’t wait to retire, get sick, get thrown into a hospice and have an overworked and underpaid nurse smother me in the wee hours while a Muzak version of ‘Careless Whisper’ plays in the hall

Another day, another cosmic horror.

Watching Good Ole Boy Kennedy questioning Jack Smith and realizing Kennedy is doing his Southern cornpone polly-tishin act, railin’ agin them city swells, all for the benefit of the illiterate MAGA base in between their Dukes of Hazzard VHS marathons

No midterms because of Russian plague. Calling it.

Oh, swell. Russia dropped another plague vial.

Watched CHUNGKING EXPRESS. Had no idea what was going on.

Feels like this simulation is running low on RAM

I’m trying to be nicer but people aren’t trying to be less stupid.

Even the sparrows are fed up with this shit

We gotta get our fuckin shit together or Olivia Newton John will not let us into Xanadu

But your Honor, he said “Happy FriYAY.”

I tend to keep most of my opinions to myself on here mainly because what's the point, but I will say that sports gambling is the most morally degenerate activity there is.

People expecting any consequences for Blanche probably expect Charlie Brown to kick the football every time

People in dirty minivans always treat Tim Horton’s drive thru staff like shit this is a universal constant

“Lights! Gamera! Action!” -me directing a kaiju movie before I was fired

Entities will straight up appear in your garden at night these days without stating their otherworldly business

Gonna do the Reacher thing where I wander the country but it’s just my backyard while I wear my housecoat and slurp coffee

Got a bird feeder to help the birds so my neighbour called city bylaw and now I have a formal warning from the city to fuck off feeding birds

Making elevator small talk should be a crime prosecuted in The Hague

Now that I’m European I might get a chateau instead of a lake house.

Is mercury still in the microwave or whatever

“Fuck you and the horse you rode in on” ~the FBI, apparently

accidentally rhymed two sentences together, a crowd gathered, and shit got real

So Bessent can’t account for the Venezuelan money liberated by the United States. Is that what I’m hearing?

Mitch McConnell looked great yesterday

Grok: Is that Mitch or a Disney animatronic?

Can a revenant still serve in the Senate?

Watching SUPERGIRL and was wondering how Wet Leg was playing on a jukebox across the galaxy while just accepting aliens have standard jukeboxes

What is Saudi Arabia doing today to commemorate 9-11?

I'm not gonna make it through this week. I'm not. I'm going to have a debilitating brain aneurysm watching legacy media handle Trump with kid gloves while he lies about 9/11. The blood vessels in my brain are going to pop, and that's gonna be it for me.

Doing my part by only watching non American wrestling

America is like the neighbour that has a burning car on the lawn and the house windows all shot out but they’re outside worrying about their chrysanthemums

Looking for some kind of SEVERANCE thing for work but where I don’t remember anything from anywhere

Category is “Songs Where A Harmonica Ruined Everything“. At Number 1 we have (drum roll) ‘Save It For A Rainy Day’ by the Jayhawks!

Read my first Maigret. No car chases and only one gun. Whatever.