Simon Jay

Chaos in Washington The new Private Eye is out now.

Subscribe to Private Eye magazine TODAY and get the next issue delivered direct to your door. Gift subscriptions also available. ➡️ Get 26 issues for just £52. 🔗 checkout.private-eye.co.uk/SingleItem?I...

6/ Mark Chapman, Steve Wilson, Seb Hutchison, Pat Nevin, Danny Murphy and Joe Hart are all marvellous so all is not lost, and EFL football remains wonderful.

5/ Fix VAR and refereeing inconsistency before the game dies. I remember the nearly forgotten joy of spontaneously celebrating a goal or when offside was used to stop attacking players gain unfair advantage. Now it’s ordeal by toenail widths.

4/ No more screaming “Can/would you believe it?” on comms (And “brilliant” gets done to death on the cricket). It’s been heard before. And stop writing pre-scripted lines and puns about players and teams. They’re as spontaneous as bloody turkey and presents at Christmas.

3/ And find something original of your own choosing to wear instead of spray on trousers, white platform trainers, and a beige or black polo top. I’m sure other combos will work with blue screen backdrops.

2/ This includes parroting buzzwords like “mentality”, “contact” and “100%”. Try saying “yes” or “agreed” and your paymasters at Sky can get to their wall to wall gambling ad breaks quicker.

1/ I was pleased to see Mr Arseblog write about Tedious media narratives in typically razor sharp and entertaining style. I’m also thoroughly sick of listening to too many pundits (ex pros and hosts)recycling a lazy narrative. arseblog.com/2026/09/tedi...

I like that this design appears to show the birth date of liberty as 1776, and its death as 2026

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Who did this? 😂

Number crunching: Compensation Fujitsu has so far paid to victims of the Post Office scandal vs value of contract for police network software awarded to Fujitsu by the Home Office. From the latest Private Eye, out now.

UK take note please.

The Norwegian team has been a delight to watch and they represent all that is positive about football.

We are transferring trillions of dollars from young people to old people, yet wonder why young men feel anxious.

Trump thought suing the BBC would intimidate them. Instead, they turned his own lawsuit into a legal headache that could force him to defend his actions surrounding January 6 under oath. That is the kind of self inflicted karma no political strategist could have scripted.

3 for 3.

Join us Thursday for a live conversation with my partner at Prof G Media, Katherine Dillon, on how to think about a visual vocabulary and how we apply this skill in our work.

On BBC Front Row 715 or link: Max Brooks & Hadley Freeman on Mel Brooks at 100. Linda Perry performs live, @scottygb.bsky.social on sitcom genius James Burrows, & Glenn Tilbrook of Squeeze on Everywhere At Once @musicvenuetrust.bsky.social festival. Now is that love?🎶 www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m...

Tomorrow’s Independent front page:

I can't stop thinking about this utterly delicious anecdote in last week's Guardian Q&A with Mark Williams...

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For anyone interested in hillforts in west Wales, the famous Castell Nadolig #hillfort 🤩 at Sarnau will be open this weekend as part of the National Gardens Scheme Read more about the hillfort & its magical divination spoons here: coflein.gov.uk/en/sites/304...

Actually I don't find it funny at all. We've wasted $72 billion, seriously made life harder and more expensive for those in our country that can least afford it. It's a debacle that infuriates me.

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THEN: the people’s house. NOW: casino penthouse.

More essential listening from the excellent Simon Marks.

Whew! Hillary Clinton this morning on the US-Iran talks that fell apart: “This is hard, disciplined effort that has to go into diplomacy to reach any results. And I don’t see this administration either wanting to do it or, frankly, being capable of doing it…”

"I'm just contemplating the fact that one moron, one psychotic moron, one capricious idiot, has completely bollocksed up the global economy not only to the detriment of his own people, but the detriment of the planet. ... It's like how much more of this can the planet take?"

Oh, yeah, that was the Obama Iran deal.

The President is threatening genocide and possible use of nuclear weapons against Iran. It’s clear the President has continued to decline and is not fit to lead. The members of his Cabinet must invoke the 25th Amendment immediately.

The President of the United States is threatening to commit war crimes and wipe out a "whole civilization" — all because he started a disastrous war of his own making and had no plan and no strategy for how to end it. This is abhorrent, and the American people do not support this.

podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/t...

Me and @mrhenrymorris.substack.com ( ex secret Tory ) are entertaining the good people of Cardigan with some new material on March 28th and if you are nearby we’d love you to come … Tickets here: www.mwldan.co.uk/events/rosie...

The unanswered question is just who was it they were attempting to deliver to? 🤔 www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026...

Hi Pivot listeners - What was your favorite Super Bowl ad, and why?

Northern Lights over Greenland 🇬🇱

Pamela Jo Bondi, doing her part to help an administration that calls itself, with a seemingly straight face, "The Most Transparent in American History."

www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio... What a great article 😀

Swear her in. Release the Epstein Files.

I want to grow on here. If you enjoy what I (and we) do, please do recommend us. Much appreciated (Corsair edition of this tweet)

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