Zazz

Squeee! Artwork of my from my friend @andyalienvt.bsky.social! Bootiful 💜

Seeing my friends on Discord playing games together, while I'm working overtime 9pm until some time after midnight. 😅

Just listening to a dr talk about Autism & ADHD. He mentioned it can impact skin flexibility which may result in stretch marks along the spine. I always assumed that was just because I had more of a big growth spurt. A bit suspicious my quirks all apparently tie to Au/ADHD, but also makes sense. 🤔

I set a boundary at work! I said that any extra work I’m doing would need approval from my manager first. This is the start of my villain era. Muhahaha!

Work's making me take a Claude exam which I'm studying for. Currently going over MCP servers and I can't help but think about how the MCP was the main antagonist AI from the original Tron movie.

So tired I’ve been falling asleep random points in the day this week. Just woke up and remembered a dream for the first time in ages. What was it about? Tickling a monkey! 😂

Level of tiredness from over-working: Stuck trying to log into my desktop PC, trying to figure out where I scan my fingerprint. 😅

Found out I could be out of a job by Christmas again this year. Things keep happening that make me flip-flop between "Oh no, but the jobs market is difficult" and "Thank goodness, the stress may litterally be killing me". 😅

Thanks to a typo, I’ll now be adding “Biconic” to my vocabulary.

"Don't lose any more weight" says a friend. Cool. Shift xmas weight goal accomplished! *Starts stress-eating 2 portions of a chocolate gateaux* *Immediately follows with another 2* 😅

Listening to my other half in the kitchen with Alexa logged into my Spotify, humming along to fictional 90s boyband "On-Lyne". Wonder if I should tell her they're from Warframe. 😄

Thank goodness for shower thoughts, because until now I completely forgot to fill in the form to get on the ADHD medication waiting list. 😅

Reading my brand new ADHD diagnosis report. I've got the inattentive type. I knew I was anxious, but it also says I'm moderately depressed too? I guess that makes sense on paper - it's been a long few years. Good thing I struggle to feel my feelings. 😅 Though I guess that is one of the symptoms. 🤔

Finally went through all the hoops for an ADHD assessment, and got it booked in! And it took me less than 2 years after being told to. 😅 Just hope I’m having a good speaking day. Last time I had a new therapist my voice trembled all the way through the first few sessions. 🙃

After my last post about finding a vice to replace food I thought I'd try getting into jogging after work. Got dark quick and suddenly started raining, so I went for cover and listened to an audiobook. Then some guy appeared out of nowhere and asked for a hug. Turned out to be fine, but my anxiety…😅

Since I’m leaving my 30’s I’m having to watch what I eat. So I’m wondering what could be my new vice. Already use alcohol to socialise. Don’t get gambling. Don’t even know where to start with sex, but seems like the healthiest option? Not like I need to worry about kids or STIs. Not very “me” tho.🤔

Work announcement: You will vibe code all future projects.

How do you improve circulation without exercising? Asking for a friend, wearing thick socks and 2 pairs of slippers, that still has freezing tootsies. 😭

When I was looking for jobs, I was avoiding being a team leader again, even though it was more pay & less competition. I couldn’t take any more meetings, looking after other devs & reviewing code rather than writing. Now with AI I’m meeting with, looking after & reviewing the work of bots anyway. 🫠

Happy Autism Awareness Day!

With all this push for AI that’s making commercial programming feel yucky, I wonder what would be a good backup career for me. 🤔

Other half finally quit the job she hates after years of me suggesting it. Hopefully that’ll make both our lives easier.

Just learnt I can’t open my mouth as wide you’re supposed to. Apparently it can be caused by stress, but I’m also wondering if it’s just stiff because it doesn’t get much exercise. Jaw aches just testing it. 😅

Dangit. I was too late after all. Going through my ADHD assessment docs I've been sent and it mentions that ADHD assessments from my area have been paused until at least the next tax year (April). Who knows if they'll resume since the government seems to wants to shut them down. 🤷

#1 sign you're not enjoying your work: Feeling relieved when told you'll be moving on in a few months. Phew!

Sometimes my anxiety makes me feel a bit... silly. I'm constantly worried about getting into trouble at work, meanwhile my boss literally writes "I LOVE YOU" to me in the group chat. 😅

It just occurred to me that some people I talk to have never seen The Matrix - because it's older than them.

Finally saw a doctor about ADHD diagnosis referral. I practiced for an interview & brought in the paperwork, but when I arrived I was meeting a trainee doctor that looked totally lost. She just accepted the paperwork and let me know if she had any questions/problems. Wonder what will happen.😅

My New Year’s resolution is to try and make more time for myself and not deal with so much. *Arrives home after Xmas with MIL* Oh there’s a leak coming through the ceiling. Only took a few hours for a new thing to deal with to come up. 🫠😅

I keep thinking I hear a motif from the Expedition 33 soundtrack. Turns out it’s a perfume advert (Lancôme). Kinda sus. 😄

People keep talking about “vibe coding”. It’s pretty much exactly the same as AI art. Controversial that it uses other people’s work (including sensitive info). Full of errors not good enough for the real world, but ok for testing a concept. Fixing issues can take longer than doing it all by hand.

The ball’s been in my court for 7 weeks. I know I’ve been super busy, but… 😅

If we’re about to hit another recession from the AI bubble, maybe I should prepare by investing in gold or something. Oh, the price of gold has already doubled since ChatGPT came out. 😅

Just realised that when the AI bubble bursts, PC parts will finally be reasonably priced again.

Last chance to turn it off. On Monday, November 3rd, Microsoft will start using your LinkedIn data for AI training. And remember, you're opted in by default. To toggle it off 👉 Account - Settings & Privacy > Data privacy > Data for Generative AI Improvement.

Why did I need to wake up at 6am? 😭

I miss the days I could just hang out with friends most nights. I’d like to get back to that.

10. I am a THREAT 👹

Remembered a dream for the first time in ages last night. Unfortunately it was incredibly boring. I dreamt I was testing hotel elevators, but I got stuck in a high-tech one that was voice activated only. Some company's gonna make that mistake one day, aren't they?

I did it! I finally did it. Over a year after my therapist suggested it, I finally got around to contacting my GP about an ADHD diagnosis! Now to wait to chat about being put on a waiting list to then wait for diagnosis to be put on a waiting list for medication triage to wait for a prescription. 😅

Checking out the analytics for the Helping Hands BSL class recordings I upload, and found out that people have spent 3 hours collectively watching my dumb ass testing out my VTuber tracking. Forgot I had that there. 😳😅 www.youtube.com/watch?v=Go2P...

Recently reminded of one of the things that makes my enby brain happy. The main character in Star Trek: Discovery is a woman called Michael Burnham. Why do I think Michael as a woman’s name works soooo well it tickles my brain?

I take it back. Short hair isn’t more comfortable - it’s cold! Brrrrrr! Where’s my hat?

I wonder if I’d get some of my confidence back if I started putting effort into how I dress again. Problem is I’m older now and my hair is completely different. Not sure I can pull off that same “classic” look but… I already can’t be bothered to even think about thinking about it, lmao. 🤣

Started this job hoping to enjoy a step-down in responcibility & stress. Accidentally became the go-to person again. Switched teams. Great! Fresh start from the bottom - less stress. Oh no it's happening again. 🫠 Where's the line between not getting in trouble, and being too reliable? 😅