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theguardian.comDo you know your ‘penis age’? Bryan Johnson doesThe 47-year-old tech millionaire claims to have the penis of a 22-year-old. How does he know, and what does it have to do with his dream of living for ever?

You forgot measuring the overnight activity of your organ of reproduction and recording / analysing the results. You think that's too outlandish even for this thread? Well... www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...

iclee3.bsky.social

@iclee3.bsky.social

23 May

Does a 47 year old claiming to have the organ of a 22 year old mean that it's barely been used yet?

4:45am: My electric toothbrush collects data on my tooth resonance and tongue viscocity and feeds it to my Agentic Dental Health Specialist who provides me my real time Toothiness Score. If I get less than an 8, the brush zaps me.

5:01am: I listen to an AI generated podcast summary of all of the world's news at 22x speed in three languages at once. ChatGPT assures me that this is the optimal way to absorb information and that it's normal to be weeping blood after.

5:02am: I start my workout. Instead of lifting weights, I engage my AI Tutor in Socratic Debate in order to build a swole mind and philosophymaxx. Clauderistotle assures me that I am an unparalleled genius reinventing the very concept of thought and epistomology. I'm forced to agree.