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Well I'm sure getting publicly dunked on not only solved this person's mental health, but reinforced how sincere your -cord is about helping

Back when I still used the shitbird app I stumbled across this individual who frequently tweeted about how shitty their existence was. At one point I had actually slipped them a suicide hotline number and they were like "well that's not going to help at all and I'm insulted by your gesture".

even with smart, thoughtful, kind, patient, experienced people putting in work to try to help, i find that once someone is lashing out against basic kindness they're often unreachable from the outside. gotta go get into some harmful situation and wait it out, or maybe never recover

that extreme self-hate-as-fact thing, where you no longer think you're *feeling* this way but that it *is* this way, has a warped sort of self-aggrandizement at the middle of it. main character syndrome. you're the special exception to every rule of life you believe in, uniquely intractably dogshit

to think you're uniquely, immensely horrible in a way nobody else can be or understand or conceive of, is actually to think very highly of yourself, just in a tense, gross way. you find people get very defensive of the idea that they're shit. questioning it becomes an insult

i'm playing patho 3 and a core mechanic is managing your guy's mood because if he gets too upset he fucking dies

anyway if you haven't seen it here is an idea i heard about from robert anton wilson. that every interpersonal interaction can be slotted into a 2x2 grid with variations of "i'm okay / i'm not okay" and "you're okay / you're not okay" "i'm noy okay and you're not okay" is the death spiral position

I used to be this way and lost a lot of people for it. And even long after I started being that way publicly, I still did it sometimes... My view completely changed when someone else did it to me, and I realized, "you really think I'm an evil jackass who wants you to die? That hurts my feelings".

back when i used to moderate bigger discords, i found it helpful to bring up how it's a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy - if you insist "no one can help me" enough times, it becomes true that no one can help you, because you've made that the reality through not allowing them to

I developed that habit myself after like the third or fourth person trying to solve me by inventing psychiatric problems I don’t have and telling me to ignore my doctor’s advice. I’m stuck isolated due to chronic pain and fatigue and it gets to me. Especially the people saying it gets better.

Honestly the entire conversation about this feels eerily familiar - I’ve reached out for help dozens of times and got the same spiel about accepting help when nobody ever did anything to help. I mean yeah nobody can help, the damage’s too severe and it permanently severed irl social connections.

i remove these people now. they can't be helped but they'll ruin everything around them for as long as it takes for everyone to get sick of them and then point to that as evidence they were right since it's going to happen anyway, you can at least speed it up