Post

@bencollins.bsky.social

Not a great economy alert! Wall Street Bets users think Palantir spiked today because The Onion story titled “Palantir Acquires Pentagon for $800 Billion” hit their front page. They’re guessing trading bots indexed the top post on the subreddit reddit not understanding source.

We are living in the dumbest of timelines lol. Now that we know their trading bots are so dumb clearly The Onion needs to game this out and bankrupt some fools lol.

1/7/26, 1:28 am23 reposts828 likes

@toctik.bsky.social

Onion rakes in billions, buys out the evil companies, sells them off for parts and keeps doing it.

@katpic57.bsky.social

🙏🏻

@soybot.bsky.social

Next purchase: Fox News Channel

The Onion buys Fox and directs all the profits to Gaza and Ukraine aid...

The TrumpRussiaGuide 🇺🇸🇺🇦

@trumprussiaties.bsky.social

If the Onion bought Fox, I’d not only watch it (the live firings), but, I’ll buy the popcorn.🍿

@wobblybitsx.bsky.social

Finally a good reality TV show proposal.

@kentonagbone.bsky.social

Fire Fox

@bindermichi.bsky.social

After acquiring InfoWars, going after FoxNews and NewsMax would make a lot of sense to expand their media empire

Trump's Blood Clot

@melvin-nodd.bsky.social

The newest Fox News reality show: HR Exit Interviews; asking pundits about the legal, ethical, and fiscal ramifications of lying on air.

@commoner.bsky.social

Doing live.

@stevieinselby.bsky.social

When you say "live firings", I'm hoping cannons are involved...

Dangerouslytalented

@dangrously.bsky.social

On every single FOX show, a special guest, Tim Heidecker in the infowars set, firing them, one by one.

@cheetahpeeker.bsky.social

Please, draw it out. A week where appears randomly, asking about numbers, and how they can "juice it up".

The TrumpRussiaGuide 🇺🇸🇺🇦

@trumprussiaties.bsky.social

@lizzieworldgirl.bsky.social

Patricia 🇺🇦🇨🇦⚜️

@pbossy.bsky.social

Not just The Onion!

Goddess Of All That She Encounters (G.O.A.T.S.E.)

@textwhileudrive.bsky.social

If they actually enter the stock market as Global Tetrahedron this could seriously fuck with things.