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There's a gigantic house centipede somewhere in my room and I'm going through my rolodex of recent sins trying to figure out which one is the cause of this level of karmic retribution

In before centipede-splaining. Yes, I know whatever you're about to type. I simply do not want anything crawling up my leg. That's all. I'm very anti-small-guy-crawling-up-my-leg

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I’ve been sleeping on my room couch cuz of deadlining the past week and if he drops on it and disappears my life WILL be over. He is walking with motivation and expediency so I hope he clears the sleeping zone soon ;__; On the plus side I am suddenly extremely awake again

I recommend getting one of those little handled tool that catches insects in a little transparent box. A bit scary at first but immensely useful to get them outside alive while building up tolerance. It’s sold under the name Snapy in France!

I keep inverts, specifically a ton of tarantulas. I am intimidated by centipedes. They are on my 'will not keep' list due to the difficulty of containing them and the sheer speed and reactiveness of them. They're super cool but I am not jealous of you whatsoever. Best of luck with your roommate. OTL

TBF they are cool as hell. They are pretty reactive too... whenever I see one in a safe place where it can't run up my leg it always has an appraising vibe about it, like it's considering me back, I love a thoughtful insect like that. But it also means they have the potential to be Scamps