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There's a gigantic house centipede somewhere in my room and I'm going through my rolodex of recent sins trying to figure out which one is the cause of this level of karmic retribution

In before centipede-splaining. Yes, I know whatever you're about to type. I simply do not want anything crawling up my leg. That's all. I'm very anti-small-guy-crawling-up-my-leg

Are u fucking kidding me rn (not staged, just happened to be looking at bsky and had an out of body experience when he rocked up)

I’ve been sleeping on my room couch cuz of deadlining the past week and if he drops on it and disappears my life WILL be over. He is walking with motivation and expediency so I hope he clears the sleeping zone soon ;__; On the plus side I am suddenly extremely awake again

Oh! I thought this was a different type of centipede. Aren't the house ones fairly harmless? (No judgement if the damage would be purely psychic)

they're generally pretty harmless to humans and prey on other bugs, but they're also faster than god and have one million feathery little legs to touch you with

did you live??? 😨

Unfortunately I died :/ idk where he went and the stress of the unknown got my ass

god speed... he's a pretty big boy.