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Not too far off the mark from what actually happened to him.

he’d def have more trolls than followers.

Hey give him a break, he’s god. He probably has like 50 billion things to do every day.

It's 2025. Do you know where your demigod offspring are?

He wouldn't make it out of Gaza.

bet they would love Jim Jones though. just one little sip will do ye,

Not *this* time!

If Jesus was too preach like He preached in Galilee They would lay Jesus Christ in his grave -- Woody Guthrie

He was Palestinian

And accuse him of gang membership.

Jesus better have working tail lights, or 40 days and 40 nights will seem mild

Well to be fair the last time he lobbed he was crucified for being a terrorist

Might even do worse that than… 🤔

Or he's already in a Cage from Trump's 1st Term. #KidsInCages

You would never send him to the US

In a heartbeat, God. They would deport him because he is an undocumented immigrant. Also, he has brown skin, which is a no-no in white America.

youtu.be/EDS00Pnhkqk?...

You stole my line! But that's o.k., you're absolutely right.

Deporting Jesus to a concentration camp in El Salvador is a very minor improvement over what they did to Jesus last time. So maybe we’re making progress? And you have to appreciate the irony in the country name.

The right hasn't changed in that regard: Jesus was a Capricorn He ate organic food He believed in love and peace And never wore no shoes Long hair, beard and sandals And a funky bunch of friends Reckon we'd just nail him up If he came down again 1972 www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCdf...

And use Photoshopped pix to claim gang tattoos.

Isn't it ironic that the country that would be the worst outcome for him this time around is the one named for him?

True.

Absolutely

And after a few miracles, the people would be promoting your son Jesus.

True

There's a reason why it sounds like Buybull.

I don’t even have a witty comeback for that. You’re correct. 😔

Jeebus Saves

Exactly!

El Salvador means "The Savior." There are no coincidences.

I made it during his first term and they’ve only gotten worse.

They could never hold your son. They would come back the next day, find the door open and he would be gone.

Happened bsky.app/profile/5nar...

Keep your children close.

That’s why he’s not coming back yet. Fool me once, shame on me…

For whosoever hath, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken away even that he hath. Therefore speak I to them in parables: because they seeing see not; and hearing they hear not, neither do they understand in them is fulfilled prophecy

Maybe they already did. Seems humans only figure someone is a messiah after they kill them.

If they already have, would you tell us?

As bad as that sounds it is so much more They're hurting the weak and they're hurting the poor Stealing birthrights and funneling dough Many will die; these ghouls go low

He’s too New Testament for maga

It has his name after all

True true true

He might be there already

To be fair, that's kinda how he was treated before. Being sent off to El Salvador also seems kinda appropriate :P

Please hurry

Wait. Isn't this kind of what happened the first time?

They sure would.

Maybe that's why they proactively named El Salvador after him

God's truth.

Her* a virgin birth a man does not make. They'll have a hard time since I have an USA lineage that dates back further than theirs, which was the point. Fuck them and their roman saluting bitch asses. Thats the first clue they're anti-Jesus. Who killed Jesus? Romans. Death to fascism.

Probably not, he would probably be shot 39 times while “trying to escape” just to make it sure and final

Hi god, the only way Jesus is coming back is if Stan Lee writes the comic book making it so. And we know that ain’t gona happen.

Word

www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5R-...

They absolutely would. And they would continue to praise the felon-in-chief. “Give us Barabbas!” echoes into our time.

Yep

He already came back twice and nobody remembers the 2nd time because it was recorded as classical paintings. Nobody reads or looks at actual history anymore. Having doubts?

Actually, the man Jesus was the first Liberal Revolutionary and the first DEI guy.

I agree. If Jesus came back, they'd call him a libtard.

If Christianity is true, Christians are the reason Jesus hasn't come back.

So you’re telling us he’s not in El Salvador, then? …cause you I’m pretty sure I saw him walking up Denman in Vancouver.

Yup

maybe people would be more inclined to take you seriously if you were to smite a few no-goodniks, eh...some of them just seem to be getting away with everything right now.

Yup 🎯 😮‍💨 🎯

Absolutely!!

If Jesus Christ came back, after what they did to him, the first time .. I'd strongly advise him to keep partying with Jimi Hendrix and Robert Johnson.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gra...

I marry Jesus and we'd go do a lot of nothing suspicious at all.

God: "I mean, come on. He didn't even hide the evil. Punch back 10× harder? Where's that in the Bible? Also, I told you to take care of foreigners not put them in camps and laugh at the videos of it. And then there are those things he said on Stern and Billy Bush. You failed the test on easy mode."

Until we grind this country to a halt, a nation wide work stoppage, we slide deeper into the subservience of the neo-fascist Christian billionaire Abyss!

Don’t let them get away with the Marxist comments. They’re the ones who want Ukraine to capitulate to Russia. They’re the pro-Russian party. Anyone who knows Russia can’t stand communists because of the despicable things they’ve done to Ukraine like the Holodomor. Russians are even worse than Nazis.

Well, actually he'd be semi homeless fermenting the revolution and marginally an outcast by society.

“If the real Jesus Christ were to stand up today, He’d be gunned down cold by the CIA”

I also call it sky daddy. Makes those that believe in it squirm.

Sadly true

Back in the day he was certainly woke... and the establishment killed him. I do not understand those who claim to be Christian but vote for the great idolator

It’s true, I’m over it.

Or declare him Hamas, and deport him to Israeli custody, for SOP torture/enhanced interrogation, knee capping.

And that's even if he'd been born in Ohio.

I have a feeling that Jesus came back he would remember the first time they killed him and say “Nope, not this time.”

If he came back to Palestine he'd be in a shroud.

So The Sermon on the Mount becomes The Sermon on You Tube? Has the ring off modernity, doesn't it? He should be able to make that work, but keep the olives for himself.

Perhaps they did

Of course they would. He was brown.

TRUTH

Who Would Jesus Bomb by Jorden Smart is a good song that sums this up for sure.

madness! a maga throng would be chanting "deport him! deport him!" imagining themselves ma & pa w/pitchfork in Americana portrait disciples would scatter @ sight of ice scream trucks approaching or emptying 1 disciple replies "no ingles" thrice before morning news editions uploaded curious, this

Try and send him, see what happens. It can't possibly go worse than last time 😄

The man Jesus stood against man made Empires. In 325, Emperor Constantine resurrected the fiction and created the Trinity to weaponize its fabricated mythology to augment his own power and wealth to make himself a demi-god on earth, and create yet another empire. Jesus Christ is an oxymoron.

Yes, I was one of them in earlier years

Surely all Christians believe the Gospel?

Or Libya 😬

Àbrego Garcia...he's Moses 2.0 isn't he? Let my pueblo go.

Indeed they would.

"why this people aren't whipping the merchants in their government? i whipped from the temple that was more difficult!"

Especially when he defended Samaritans 🤨

Mmm, probably not. They don't do idiotic shit like that in the area he's from.

From @coldwarsteve.bsky.social in December 2023 When we had a Conservative (Tory) government that wanted to deport asylum seekers to Rwanda With former Home Secretary (Secretary of State) Suella Braverman + Former Leader of the House and "devout Christian" Jacob Rees-Mogg

Or shoot him in his car as he reaches for his licence and insurance.

Maybe they have…

Marjorie Taylor Greene would be leading the lynch mob.

It’s called El Salvador for a reason

If Jesus came back, they would not recognize Him even if He was wearing a name plate. 😒

It won’t happen unless you impregnate some hapless woman who is married to a guy who owns a donkey.

He'd never make it to El Salvador!

Likely they would mark him as a middle eastern terrorist & send him to Gitmo