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If it looks like an Epstein, walks like an Epstein, and quacks like an Epstein , it’s a fucking Epstein.

No one stopping ur NASTY NAZIS asshole

Yeah F him.

He can move.

There is. He could fu@k off and live somewhere else

Move.

Well just make sure that you don’t go there if you have any issues. He needs to be sent to the hospital that is the farthest away from his home because they have bothered him the least

Move.

He should move.

Move motherfucker

move

I found a way MOVE THE FUCK OUT‼️

The Needling is a satirical newspaper like the Onion

Move MFER

If only there was a method one could use to not live by a "noisy" hospital, like, say... moving somewhere else that isnt next to the "noisy" hospital. Just cause you're a rich asshole doesnt mean everyone must bow down and accommodate your every whim. Dont want noise? Move somewhere without.

I thought this was a Beaverton or Onion article at first. Why not just move?

What an asshat.

Very simple solution, rich dude: MOVE THE FUCK AWAY.

Are we heading towards an American version of 1798 France…definitely heading towards something that’s not good!

sell your mcmansion that you don’t use most of and fucking leave, is the nicest thing i can say

Moooove

Fuck them! They can move to Florida.

Do people really NOT get this...?

Perhaps this gentleman & his ilk would prefer the guillotine treatment instead… #KeepTheImmigrants #DeportTheseRichMFs #FuckTheRich #TaxTheRich #EatTheRich

Poor fella.

Tell him to Fucking move.

“Can you tell those grieving parents to be quiet, thanks”

This isn't real. Most people know what The Onion is, but I don't think they know Needling is a satirical publication, like The Onion.

He could move. It's quiet on the prairie in the Plains states.

Sell your house and move.

STFU AND MOVE; YOU billionaire baby

Why dont they just fuck off 🤔

You serfs, be quiet

then sound proof your home you cruel greedy bastard.

Fuck this guy. And not in a good way.

I’d venture a guess that the hospital was there first. The arrogance of affluence is staggering here and in many places across the US. Sad!😩

The simple solution would be to move.

The answer is clear.

Excellent question.

Non sequitur

That's because they were genocided to make way for your neighborhood.

Could someone dox this guy so I can write him a letter to tell him EXACTLY what I think of him?

🤣

BURN LAURELHURST TO THE GROUND.

Perhaps he will need it someday.

Move

How about fucking move you old geezer.

Tell him to give away all the money he stole and eff off.

Yup. The OP makes that clear in the profile

No

Isn’t all satire based in reality? Would it be satire if it wasn’t?

To you.

No it’s just really crappy satire And they’re pretty thinskinned about criticism too

It's not.

I just wish there was some way not to live in a country with rich shitheads, but here we are.

Yes rough

Name and shame, name and shame.

Sell that monstrosity and buy a new home NOT near a hospital and move. Simple. Wish granted.

Same thing when people choose to build a house next to the expressway. Then complain about the noise.

Fuck the wealthy assholes 🖕

I can think of one way that would definitely work

They might actually be: "Colleen McAleer serves annually as a judge in the Alaska Airlines Environmental Innovation Challenge."

You can move.

Whiny little twats.

I'd be more upset about that architectural disaster of a house!

He could move!

Even satire gets a question. Was the hospital there when they bought homes. Did the hospital get built after ?

I do understand that this is supposed to be a satirical post, yet I am still confused: why don’t these rich people just move to another gated quiet neighborhood which is far far away from hospitals with helicopter landing pad?

Most of the comments seem to miss that this is satire. Perhaps you could add a flashing neon sign somewhere?

Then move, you entitled POS

Boo effing hoo.

That is one wild flight for passengers not expecting it, I've done it a million times 😂

Yes. Airports shouldnt exist.

Ah, another black & white response...if not one extreme than it has to be the other. Maybe that's why I'm a centrist Democrat...I recognize the need for the colors.

Eat the rich. The rich need get a life.

There is a way not to live next to a noisy hospital. Move. Sick kids before wealth karens.

18 million and you can't afford to pay someone to puncture your eardrums? I don't believe it.

Buy up enough land so that no hospital is too close! 64000 sectors? Or live on a remote private island

I want my peace and quiet and don’t care how it affects you. And I an rich with a $18M mansion. I have more power than you!

They need to move to a real neighborhood like Georgetown or South Park. Both lovely Washington cities just a little further South. 😎

As a friendly FYI, it's often a good idea to click on a message's account/icon to get an idea where the poster is coming from. The Needling is very upfront about being "satire/parody" if you click on their account.

The Needling is similar to The Onion, but focused on local news in the Seattle area. They're very funny.

He can easily get some sound silencing headphones, and sound-reduction or sound-proofing things can be added to his ridiculous mansion. Sorry he can’t buy a soul, community spirit, or empathy.

Fuckin' Hell ... now I realize 100% how the fuck Trump was re-elected. All you idiots commenting like this story is real need a remedial reading class and get your internet taken away. Jesus there's more BluSky imbeciles than I realized.

"The poors are making noise again"

Please tell that asswipe he can simply hire somebody to pack up his sh*t and move elsewhere as there are lots of other nice places where other f*cktards like him live

Suck it up, buttercup.

QtipsANON. Looks like Mr Ass de Wipe has a bone to pick with his new neighhh-bour.

There is. Move.

Buy a house somewhere else you entitled douche!

Why am I supposed to be worried about these people moving away again? Tax the rich out!

Be mildly inconvenienced or let children die? 🤔 the answer is easy, and those children can go straight to hell.

Did they miss the history class on the French Revolution?