The Needling

The Needling

@theneedling.com

Seattle's Only Real Fake News (Satire/Parody) Have a hot headline tip? Send it to Submit@TheNeedling.com TheNeedling.com

18.1K followers1.5K following2.6K posts

The Needling reposted

Nick
@indulgentgeek.net

And here is PacMed’s actual Tower of Terror face.

The Needling@theneedling.com

PacMed Building Not Haunted, Just Has Resting Tower-of-Terror Face: tinyurl.com/2h7fk5xs

The Needling
@theneedling.com

Asked why he still hadn’t yet spent his $100 in democracy vouchers for a progressive Seattle City Council candidate like Nilu Jenks, District 5 resident Mike Reynolds says he’s saving all of his to buy one big democracy.

The Needling@theneedling.com

Man Saving Democracy Vouchers to Buy One Big Democracy: tinyurl.com/56ph8uj3

The Needling reposted

Nick Denny
@nick-denny.com

Despite the lack of sticker, I have voted in this election and <checks notes> for the first time ever, actually early for a change!

The Needling@theneedling.com

King County Elections Accused of Voter Suppression After Not Mailing Ballots with ‘I Voted’ Stickers: tinyurl.com/4je86443

The Needling reposted

et al
@graceface.bsky.social

wherever shall i take my second mistress?

The Needling@theneedling.com

Millionaires Tax Means Local Magnate Can Only Afford One of Seattle’s New Waterfront Car Condos: tinyurl.com/54xb6te

The Needling reposted

Nikolai Raven
@nikolai-raven.bsky.social

Oh, look who can afford CARS! Ride a bicycle and you won’t have this problem! #Seattle

The Needling@theneedling.com

Millionaires Tax Means Local Magnate Can Only Afford One of Seattle’s New Waterfront Car Condos: tinyurl.com/54xb6te

The Needling reposted

The Needling
@theneedling.com

“I can hardly bear to break the news to my Aston Martin that I won’t have enough money for it to snowbird at a car condo in Florida because some selfish children want to go to good public schools."

The Needling@theneedling.com

Millionaires Tax Means Local Magnate Can Only Afford One of Seattle’s New Waterfront Car Condos: tinyurl.com/54xb6te

The Needling reposted

AFT Washington
@aftwa.bsky.social

I shouldn't be surprised they couldn't wait till after the midterms to announce this, should I? This is for when cartoon villainy isn't cartoonish or villainous enough. (It's actually real. $600k waterfront condos for cars. Because we need affordable housing for cars, apparently.)

The Needling@theneedling.com

Millionaires Tax Means Local Magnate Can Only Afford One of Seattle’s New Waterfront Car Condos: tinyurl.com/54xb6te

The Needling reposted

Paul Constant
@paulconstant.com

With a millionaires tax on the ballot, they really should have waited until after Election Day to announce the construction of 72 luxury waterfront condos exclusively housing the expensive cars of rich people.

The Needling@theneedling.com

Millionaires Tax Means Local Magnate Can Only Afford One of Seattle’s New Waterfront Car Condos: tinyurl.com/54xb6te

The Needling reposted

Jim Gaynor
@jimgaynor.bsky.social

New Millionaire Tax Means Hard Choices for "Washingtonians" Spending Six Months and One Day in the State Each Year to Avoid California Resident Taxes.

The Needling@theneedling.com

Millionaires Tax Means Local Magnate Can Only Afford One of Seattle’s New Waterfront Car Condos: tinyurl.com/54xb6te

The Needling
@theneedling.com

“I can hardly bear to break the news to my Aston Martin that I won’t have enough money for it to snowbird at a car condo in Florida because some selfish children want to go to good public schools."

The Needling@theneedling.com

Millionaires Tax Means Local Magnate Can Only Afford One of Seattle’s New Waterfront Car Condos: tinyurl.com/54xb6te

The Needling reposted

Kelli Refer
@kellireef.bsky.social

As the cost of living increases we all need to make some sacrifices.

The Needling@theneedling.com

Millionaires Tax Means Local Magnate Can Only Afford One of Seattle’s New Waterfront Car Condos: tinyurl.com/54xb6te

The Needling reposted

Dax Pryce
@dax.pryce.io

well well well, look who lost the mandate of heaven now *laughs in kitsap voting sticker*

The Needling@theneedling.com

King County Elections Accused of Voter Suppression After Not Mailing Ballots with ‘I Voted’ Stickers: tinyurl.com/4je86443

The Needling reposted

Tyler, from the Internet (Haunted)
@tylerfromtheinternet.com

Soon: a King County resident has been charged with election fraud, after purchasing 'I voted' stickers online and distributing them to his friends. "I just wanted to do something nice for my mates," he said at his arraignment this afternoon. "I didn't know it was illegal." He will be executed Friday

The Needling@theneedling.com

“I was prepared to see all kinds of horrible voter suppression tactics happen in other parts of the country, but I never thought that our own King County Elections would stoop so low as to deprive our local electorate of stickers.” tinyurl.com/4je86443

The Needling reposted

The Needling
@theneedling.com

Due to its glacial vote-counting process, officials reminded Washington residents who don’t want to stressfully check 4 p.m. ballot drops for seven days straight to add an extra week of hiding.

The Needling@theneedling.com

Americans Urged to Vote Early, Hide Deep in Corn Maze Until It’s All Over: tinyurl.com/bdehrurc

The Needling
@theneedling.com

Due to its glacial vote-counting process, officials reminded Washington residents who don’t want to stressfully check 4 p.m. ballot drops for seven days straight to add an extra week of hiding.

The Needling@theneedling.com

Americans Urged to Vote Early, Hide Deep in Corn Maze Until It’s All Over: tinyurl.com/bdehrurc

The Needling reposted

pool chemicals
@chlorinesea.bsky.social

Hey did you know you can stop by the election office in Renton RIGHT NOW to get a sticker, a button, and a tour where you can watch ballot processing as though it is a zoo. kingcounty.gov/en/dept/elec...

The Needling@theneedling.com

“I was prepared to see all kinds of horrible voter suppression tactics happen in other parts of the country, but I never thought that our own King County Elections would stoop so low as to deprive our local electorate of stickers.” tinyurl.com/4je86443

The Needling reposted

Kirsten W
@xfkirsten.bsky.social

Oregon even got a coloring page in their voter pamphlet this year 🥺

The Needling@theneedling.com

King County Elections Accused of Voter Suppression After Not Mailing Ballots with ‘I Voted’ Stickers: tinyurl.com/4je86443

The Needling reposted

The Needling
@theneedling.com

Replying to @caprimoondot.bsky.social

We must codify the right to stickers mailed with ballots AND design contests. 😤

The Needling reposted

Morgan Lockhart
@mizdoomcookie.bsky.social

If hiding in a corn maze would keep the Talarico texts and emails from finding me, I would.

The Needling@theneedling.com

Americans Urged to Vote Early, Hide Deep in Corn Maze Until It’s All Over: tinyurl.com/bdehrurc

The Needling reposted

Jessica (Vittoriya)
@chefjessica.bsky.social

Pierce County with the W

The Needling@theneedling.com

“I was prepared to see all kinds of horrible voter suppression tactics happen in other parts of the country, but I never thought that our own King County Elections would stoop so low as to deprive our local electorate of stickers.” tinyurl.com/4je86443

The Needling reposted

Philip and Rollie
@ripperelse.bsky.social

This is the way. But remember to keep anti scarecrow weapons. Something to take out some demonic pumpkin heads too. And something to read. May the dark gods of the harvest protect us.

The Needling@theneedling.com

Americans Urged to Vote Early, Hide Deep in Corn Maze Until It’s All Over: tinyurl.com/bdehrurc

The Needling reposted

ScaryCatalyst 🎃
@straycatalyst.bsky.social

😢 we were robbed!

The Needling@theneedling.com

“I was prepared to see all kinds of horrible voter suppression tactics happen in other parts of the country, but I never thought that our own King County Elections would stoop so low as to deprive our local electorate of stickers.” tinyurl.com/4je86443

The Needling reposted

Bonnie the Bunny
@just-a-ballard-bun.bsky.social

@elections.kingcounty.gov Y’all could have given us Jimothy voting stickers…people would have combed through their mail and their recycle to make sure they found their ballots and voted. Instead we get a sad, sticker-less existence with all the Jimothy-less counties looking down on us…😔😔

The Needling@theneedling.com

“I was prepared to see all kinds of horrible voter suppression tactics happen in other parts of the country, but I never thought that our own King County Elections would stoop so low as to deprive our local electorate of stickers.” tinyurl.com/4je86443

The Needling reposted

big rock big water 🪨🌊 (they/them)
@bigrockbigwater.bsky.social

Remember the first time you didn't get a prize at the dentist and were like "well that was pointless"? Voting is dead to me.

The Needling@theneedling.com

“I was prepared to see all kinds of horrible voter suppression tactics happen in other parts of the country, but I never thought that our own King County Elections would stoop so low as to deprive our local electorate of stickers.” tinyurl.com/4je86443

The Needling reposted

G. Willow Wilson
@gwillow.me

Literally me. Where are our stickers

The Needling@theneedling.com

“I was prepared to see all kinds of horrible voter suppression tactics happen in other parts of the country, but I never thought that our own King County Elections would stoop so low as to deprive our local electorate of stickers.” tinyurl.com/4je86443

The Needling reposted

Josh Rosenau
@joshrosenau.org

A friend gave me stickers for when I vote. Otherwise I would be ready to rise up against the outrageous conduct of King County Elections.

The Needling@theneedling.com

“I was prepared to see all kinds of horrible voter suppression tactics happen in other parts of the country, but I never thought that our own King County Elections would stoop so low as to deprive our local electorate of stickers.” tinyurl.com/4je86443

The Needling reposted

The Needling
@theneedling.com

“Is it going to suck losing so much money when this AI bubble pops that I have to actually move to Idaho or Texas like I’ve been threatening to for years without really meaning it? Yes, but it’s a small price to pay for being able to play victim of Washington’s future Millionaires Tax.”

The Needling@theneedling.com

Local Millionaire Investing in AI Can’t Wait to Blame Future Bankruptcy on Millionaires Tax: tinyurl.com/4kps6veu

The Needling reposted

Matt Black
@mblackmn.bsky.social

Kitsap County working on driving that voter turnout!!!

The Needling@theneedling.com

“I was prepared to see all kinds of horrible voter suppression tactics happen in other parts of the country, but I never thought that our own King County Elections would stoop so low as to deprive our local electorate of stickers.” tinyurl.com/4je86443