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I'm sorry to be a negative Nancy, but I can't help shake the feeling that the IDF will "randomly" lash out and attack someone "coincidentally" around Benjamin Netanyahu next court appearance.

tbf, @theonion.com IS America's most reliable news source...

"Hamas agrees to slightly curb efforts of teaching children to stab Jews to death"

You think you’re being sarcastic but at some point, the Israeli army ran out of targets so they were randomly hitting tents in refugee camps using Lavender AI. It was like the most f@cked up game of Battleship.

if even...

We’re now at the point where that could be an actual headline

So, beating them up and stealing their land, instead of shooting them down and destroying their land. Got it.

I give it two days 🤬

probably optimistic tbh

Israel will remove barriers so West Bank Palestinians can come in and bomb pizzerias and supermarkets again.

Really appreciate you explaining it for everyone then, since you seem to know more than everyone else

What do you disagree with, specifically?

They will, this is just to try to take attention off the Epstein files and to let them know not to mess with Qatar.

I don’t think that was part of the plan

This finest feel like satire.

bsky.app/profile/them...

bsky.app/profile/midd...

Some people celebrating the ceasefire were bombed, I'm trying to find the video I saw a couple hours ago but they were talking about 7 persons dead & many injured

It's okay. My snarky replies are only when people want to assume a superior stance without bothering to find out if they are right first. We all have different capacities and get information at different rates. No shame on that. My sarcasm was mostly to say that we are overestimating their diplomacy

Begrudgingly

"The Onion" abandoned satire and turned a news source now!? I completely missed that update till now!

Intermittent Blasting

Marginally less frequent

On a "less frequent basis?" If I were Palestinian, that would not elicit a warm fuzzy feeling. It means I live today; tomorrow is questionable.

Might have been optimistic of you bsky.app/profile/just...

it’s funny because it’s true

He only stating this because of Nobel peace prize event. The timing is relative to that. And when they announce watch what happens. They will say “who dis?”

Text of agreement

That's the truth of it, if they actually honor the ceasefire.

Alas, the Onion truly is one of the most accurate newspapers out there. Free Palestine.

As expected. This is not a win.

they will never change

So just the last 77 years, essentially?

And with a stroke of the pen the transition from comedy to news is complete.

After all fair dos they've hardly started with the West Bank!

bibi's just gotten bored with murdering babies. He'll go back to his longtime hobby of vivisecting stray cats while masturbating in his own feces.

They did not even agree to this. When even the Onion is optimist.

As you were. The Zionists will be just happy to have had 2 years of genocide to slaughter over 67,000 Palestinians, without repercussions. They’ve been living their best lives. What I want to know is who’s going to police the West Bank settler scum?

Fake, fake news. It's just as frequent: bsky.app/profile/jonr...

*for now

the other view is that israel kills hamas and absolutely all deaths in the war are on hamas. but well some people take sides with hamas and islamists that dance on the coffins of innocent jewish babies

Seguirán al ritmo de los últimos 80 años.