Post

Fucking wow. Prescient.

All this violent rhetoric needs to STOP!!! Oh wait, this is just a post about the DOJ reinstating firing squads as a means of federally-sanctioned execution. Well, okay then.

Is he the practice dummy ⁉️🤔

HEY BLANCHE, WE BELIEVE IT WOULD BE A GREAT IDEA TO LIVESTREAM A FIRING SQUAD FOR EPSTEINS PEDOPHILES WHO BRUTALLY ABUSED AND RAPED CHILDREN. WHY DON’T YOU RUN IT BY TRUMP AND GET BACK TO US?

Oh. Can we attach them to NFL Halftime shows?

Was coming here to say similar...and they'd probably sell passes to the highest bidders to be the ones pulling the trigger.

Wow. I forgot about that. The Onion is right about politics. Terminator is right about AI. The Handmaid's Tale is right about our culture. WTF with this world??

Onion, I'm so sorry, but you seem to have accidentally reported real news

Exile to BongBong Marcos in Philippines least he could do since US saved his mom and dad and all

I would love to watch criminals punished.

That shows up in Gilead, entertainment and scaring people (mostly women) into compliance. Why would it be a surprise that this lot thinks it's a great idea?

Yeah, normally this would be unbelievable, but it’s happened now, so you know what, not A funny post! 

Ffs onion you gave them the idea

Damn your Bard's tongue cursed gift of prophecy! bsky.app/profile/bagd...

Man...

Christians seemed cool with Trump having already broken 8 out of 10 commandments. Well, apparently 9 is the new 8. We can now add “thou shalt not kill” to the list of broken commandments…upon authorizing a murder via live stream. SMH

Theo Nion was ahead of the insane news, as is usual these days.

For a million each, you can buy a "golden bullet" and be on the firing squad.

bsky.app/profile/alja...

The onion may be the best news source we have, at this point.

Breaking News as “journalists” fled was handled by Diet Prada 😭

It's the real reason Trump is excited for the ballroom.

Well, this aged horribly

They only brought it back so those sick-o MF’s will have another thing to bet on with those online betting platforms!

How is this for turning down the rhetoric?

October 8th 2026 🤦🏻‍♀️ This regime has NO ORIGINAL IDEAS.

amouthful_of_cherries 7 Royal Symphony Orchestra • Chariots Of... Follow ... “That dude who hit Bush with a shoe was a far more competent assassin” meme

*In Oakland Musk VS Sam Altman

bsky.app/profile/sack...

It would be funnier if it wasn’t probably true.

This aged well. (I feel SICK!)

I firmly believe that this dumb ass administration single handedly brought The Onion back from the brink of death.

Trump will be boasting about the ratings ffs!

The Onion is now predicting the future.

I can only imagine the sterling work the bridge troll performed while employed with the Southern District of New York.

What's the joke? This headline is plain truth.

Whelp. Not just the Onion

For a non-zero number of republicans, this headline is not satire.

With the secret service they have now it would be hilarious

youtu.be/qDO6HV6xTmI?...

You know what? I’ll take the firing squad thanks youtu.be/0lTczPEG8iI?...

Especially because of this: bsky.app/profile/chad...

I thought The Onion was supposed to be satire.

Still a better way to go than lethal injection

OK then we'll livestream their executions after they're tried for treason, war crimes, and crimes against humanity. I'm good with that, especially Trump, Miller and the SCOTUS.

And of course the gambling opportunities won't go unexploited! Bet on which bullet will hit the executee first.

Close, Hegseth is going to livestream the shooter's execution at Fort Hood. This is so dystopian.

Major cities are obligated to set up spaces, citizens encouraged to witness. Also: whippings as opening acts planned for the spectacle.

#TheOnion does #NotTheOnion in Satire is Dead skit.

That's exactly what it is, entertainment for the warped of mind. Stupid, insulting and crazy.

Much cheaper than renting an open-air coliseum and bringing in lions.