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please move your teeth over

Because you're a creep that protects a predatory cult.

Because Tom Cruise makes my skin crawl?

"Psst. Hey buddy. Come closer. No, no. Closer." (Whispers in his ear) "nobody fucking knows what the movie is about."

Is this that trailer that just showed a ton of clips of unconnected Tom cruise movies and expected me to be interested on that alone?

"I mean, according to google - right here, look. Look. - it says you're less than a mile from a theatre. And it's playing. It's just...it's not making sense to me. I am calm. Oh, I am sooo calm, right now. I'm fucking herbal tea. I didn't mean to swear..."

I thought it was about excavators.

From my friend in South Dakota! 🤣

We thought it was a Digger Phelps biopic.

Ummmm cuz.... You're in a strange cult and you abandoned your child. So I won't put my money towards you.

It’s more unsettling when you realize it’s a video.

I'm looking at the reason.

His church of zombieology has all his answers for him.

Lol

😜

If you're in your den watching TV, and a single drop of sweat drops from the ceiling, DON'T LOOK UP

I mean, how could you not be glib when someone talks to you like this?

But also...fuck sexual predator Matt Lauer.

stop

so you're saying he’s not going to…FREAK OUT

Havnt got paid yet, geees says nation living paycheck to paycheck.

“Because the Scientology shit, you’re weird, dude!” —theater goer

Co$ why would we?

It puzzles me. It's a Tom Cruise movie with Tom Cruise that Tom Cruise loves. It has got everything!

Needs boobs and explosions.

"Smiling, unblinking, standing (not sitting) on a couch."

Digger is for people who liked his Tropic Thunder role too much and still won't shut up about it in 2026.

It looks weird and there's more than a few "good" movies that were just plain weird. What's the one that won an academy and it has the Christmas club or whatever? That was rough. The ads made me think it was another one of those.

Uh oh, Tom Cruise may have met his match in the unblinking staring department: 😱😱😱🤣

"Because you're not that good of an actor" would be my response

Gross..Tom Cruise is gross.

We broke, tom.

Nothing kills a movie like not being what it's advertised as. I always think of how Jennifer's Body was a smart story centered on female friendship but was advertised as a salacious "ooh look at Megan Fox's body" vehicle. People who see it are disappointed and the people who'd like it don't see it

Because he’s in it.

i'm doing this too tbh

"...just disappointed."

The world changed a lot since Risky Business. We are here because that happened then Going back to the way it was would not change the way it is now We couldn’t just relive the glory days We would all have to get right to work trying to prevent this modern day nightmare Diggers only digging deeper

There's only one Shoveler

Because there are productions of better quality that are just as ambitious. For example, *The Odyssey*. It cost $250 million and has grossed $1.7 billion since July. *Digger* cost $200 million and grossed only $20 million this weekend.

Couldn't be that people don't want to spend money they don't have on things they don't need.