Abacus Wizard

why is Batman not defending the theaters from these attacks

(during intermission at a production of Macbeth) “Remind me which one is Macduff?” “He’s the one who gets ahead at the end.” “I don’t get it.” “You will.”

The most important thing I’ve learned from history: People move around. Always have, always will. It’s an important part of who we are. And those who seek to artificially restrict it are denying us our humanity.

it’s actually short for Parmajonathan

me: [feeling kind of despondent and frustrated] me: “Oh! I know what would cheer me up… stealing batteries from a supply closet!”

If you sent this image through a time machine to 2007 and showed it to the people who were first passing around “I Can Has Cheezburger” they wouldn’t have believed it possible. Lolcat technology has come so far in these last two decades. Who can say what memes will come in years yet unseen?

Democracy in landscaping.

Christopher Lee was already a big fan of The Last Unicorn when he got the role voicing King Haggard in the movie, and brought in his own well-loved copy of the book, with Haggard’s dialogue highlighted, when he arrived at the studio.

Marvel in the 2010s: “these movies are a fresh start; you don’t have to read decades worth of comics to understand the characters and stories” Marvel in 2026: “here’s a list of 30 movies and tv shows you have to watch before you’re allowed to see our new movie”

this phrase popped up in dinner prep conversation so I decided to immortalize it in synthwave form

I mean, my issue is that I've felt that we've been going through a generational national trauma pretty much consistently since 2016 and thus far the electorate has stubbornly refused to agree with me.

Mordor is further away than y’all think.

Most people aren’t qualified to have zero idea what consciousness is. I, on the other hand, spent three years taking upper-division philosophy courses, so I can announce with solid authority that I have zero idea what consciousness is.

I’ve decided we shouldn’t call it “artificial intelligence” anymore. We should call it malware.

This continues to be one of the most versatile meme formats.

joke: Trump is sitting in the presidential limo at a drive-thru, looks at the menu board, and shouts “What is this? Ronald McDonald is a woman now? McDonald’s is woke! I’m never eating here again! Have fun being banned nationwide, WokeDonald’s!” and the cashier responds “sir this is a Wendy’s”

I made this image a few months ago and mostly forgot about it but now I’m looking at it again and giggling at how *many* deliberate mistakes I included. Can you find them all?

Incredible new advances in comics technology!

ooooooh this is good writing advice (Holly Black)

man, maybe you might sometimes think that “no blood for oil” is pushing a metaphor a little too far, but then you see stuff like

There’s no need to say that ICE is illegal. Just say that unidentified masked gunmen attacking and kidnapping civilians is illegal (hey, wait, isn’t it already?), arrest people who do that, and if it turns out they have a license to do that, they can prove it in court after being arrested.

An idea for an engineering challenge that came to me in a dream this morning: With everything we’ve learned about aerodynamics since the Wright Brothers, what’s the best aircraft you could make now using only the materials and tools and infrastructure that would have been available to them in 1903?

Imagine the feeling of being the first Wikipedia editor to change “Donald Trump is…” to “Donald Trump was…”

Watching my way through Star Trek: The Next Generation for the first time. Currently 1/3 of the way through Season 3. I know it gets better. There have been a handful of really good episodes already. But there have also been SO many characters angling for the Most Punchable Face In The Galaxy award.