Mr Drinking a Beer

lmao I just imagined how unbearable the first SNL episode after Lorne Michaels dies will be

I trapped ONE HUNDRED PEOPLE in Nutty Putty Cave and the last person to die alone in the dark wins ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS

If I ever decide to do it im going to post something along the lines of "I am NOT suicidal and if I turn up dead, this person did it" and just pick someone to absolutely fuck over

Many of our problems will be solved when I perfect my ultimate technique

People who lose a sense will often have one of their other senses gain more acuity to make up for it. Which is why blind people can tell precisely how hungry they are

Fantasy novel: the day that the city of Burgûz was consumed by the Dark Flame would come to be known in the records of the Great Archives as The Collapse Real life: we call it 9/11 because it happened on September 11th

Cyclops but his dick is constantly cumming unless he wears a special ruby quartz condom

We’re both the cucks in the relationship. We both watch one guy jack off

One of your HOMIES is hungry. You can equip your HOMIES with FOOD from the HOMIES menu. Try assigning the BURGER you just purchased to GREGOR.

[Jonah doing stand up] and then there was Covid. Remember Covid ? Yep. This guy remembers Covid. I spent a lot of time inside during Covid. Yeah. Inside a whale!

Wife wants cursed amulet for birthday

Trying out new fetishes like they’re hobbies. “Yeah I’ve been jacking off to popping balloons recently. Don’t know if I’m going to stick with it”

Cuck giving his wife the Heimlich manoeuvre because she’s choking on their bull’s cock. Sorry

Ceci n'est pas un cheeseburger - René Magritteville

Listening to St. Anger, eh

The fellows at the gentlemen’s club were delighted when informed that my spirited wife insists on calling me “father” in our marital bed

Getting charged 150,000 gold because your plan only covers hexes and not curses, and the wizards who abjured you is out of network. Is this even a joke. It’s really just find/replacing words

Wise orangutan carefully assembling Dragunov rifle

“Serving cunt” can mean two things. Either you are dressed very impressively and looking great, or there’s an American in your cafe

List of famous duos that aren’t friends irl: Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman Penn and Teller Key and Peele Siegfried and Roy’s tigers Snap and Crackle are but Pop isn’t

I made a joke in my main Discord server about DOOM E1M1 being in a major key and @abigbagofkeys.sickonedude.com actually made it. Jesus fucking Christ listen to this hahahaha

Watching a BangBus video when there’s an audible thump. The video cuts and it goes back to the sex but everyone looks nervous and distant

Sorry I’ve been off this site for a while. I was on a mission to travel to the Voyager 1 probe and add Starlight by the Supermen Lovers to the Golden Record

I hate when I get to work and a bunch of quest markers appear

Hooking my sybian up to a UPS in case of an outage

I don’t consider myself especially greedy, so I don’t see what harm it could do if I delved a little deeper. I don’t think anybody else should though

My entire personal philosophy can be summed up with this tweet and this Brian Eno quote. No punchline

i think this job has driven him insane but he does make salient points from time to time. credit where credit is due, he can be oddly poignant for such a bizarre man. much love to northernlion

Guy who thinks height differences in relationships are problematic

When I was digitising my music collection and manually entering all the metadata, I copied the title of ODB’s 1999 album from Wikipedia so I wouldn’t have to type it out. That’s called being an ally

Hey, excited to introduce myself. I’m the guy at YouTube who set it up so when you watch a video labelled “Episode 8” the next video to play is “Episode 11.” I get paid $200,000 a year and my children don’t talk to me

This is barely an idea but I keep thinking about a comedy cover act who only performs in bars and just tells other peoples’ jokes

I have no lore. My backstory is paper thin. My wikia entry is a stub and marked for deletion

We need to ban yanks from everywhere

I hold up the sword and look down its length. “Incredible,” I say. “This is an ancient sword of the Vac’neth. We have long since lost the technology to forge steel as they once did. Which is basically fine, because they weren’t very good. We have much better swords now”

In the future you will be able to download a horse directly to your living room

Yuko wants to grill. so we will grill

Son giving me a firm handshake on my deathbed

2026 starting out really well! Looking like it’s going be a banner year for Society

I will never watch a “video podcast.” Podcasts are for listening to when I’m on the bus. Are you watching videos on the bus. Are you even on the bus

That is not dead which can eternal lie, Like Tiny Tim, who did NOT die

Dude it’s disgusting how all the most powerful people in the world were on some rich audiophile’s island listening to low bitrate music. man I dunno the posts can’t all be good

man these are getting too real

Hi everyone, I’m excited to talk about what we’ve been working on for the last few years: we’re proud to announce that in 2026 we’re launching Depression 2! It will provide the same Depression experience you’re used to, with some fantastic new features we think you’re going to love

Throwing a hotdog directly into my buddy’s mouth like a dart

Frank Sinatra’s first draft

Aragorn gently touching the shards of the Sybian that rocked Sauron's puss clean off

In space,