Rick CarBOOso’s Private Fire Crew

Please don’t mistake declarative statements for expertise, I’m just medically incapable of speaking without unfounded confidence.

I am going to walk the Ice Age National Scenic Trail* Idk what that’s going to entail but I’m two minutes into a pbs thing on it and I need this

JOE BUCK: Welcome to the top of the 47th [Sun rises] [Sun keeps getting bigger] BUCK: yes [World engulfed by flames] BUCK: oh god yes

i am inviting anyone from a legacy media organization to explain to me why the house judiciary dems report on trump’s epstein’s ties and multiple allegations of rape isn’t worthy of extensively reporting on. i’m serious. i want to understand.

I’m going to run for president and my platform is that better things aren’t possible and we really should aim lower and the only reason doing this is because I want to speed-age from stress for four years

LA-area folks who support reproductive rights, here’s a great way to do it! Shop at LAGRH’s holiday boutique on 11/7! Tackle all your gifting needs, stock up on baked goods, and pick up an emotional support chicken or two.

there are people serving life sentences right now on thinner evidence than we have for "donald trump was jeffrey epstein's partner in serial rape" democrats-judiciary.house.gov/media-center...

My favorite part of "Digger" was when the guy threw the shoe

Feels like a lot of this could’ve been avoided if they hadn’t given the little yellow abomination Sonic’s original teeth.

Brandon's first skeet: "There are no US academic field deployments of seismometers in South America now, nor will there be for the foreseeable future. That hasn't happened since, I think, the year 2000?" I asked him to expand on what that means for access to other countries' seismometers. Thread:

Feels like a lot of this could’ve been avoided if they hadn’t given the little yellow abomination Sonic’s original teeth.

The first line of every song on Bethany Cosentino's album is so good, like "Imagine if I handled this shit like I used to" is just a delightful way to start a sentence let alone a song.

JD Vance's 2028 platform is just going to be "illegal to make a woman cum"

The first line of every song on Bethany Cosentino's album is so good, like "Imagine if I handled this shit like I used to" is just a delightful way to start a sentence let alone a song.

Your first instinct is gonna be to blame this on the It's Always Sunny gang but you're forgetting that Melissa Schemmenti's throwing a Halloween party on Saturday and she knows a guy who can stock her seafood tower.

this is the plot of DIGGER

I don’t want to give Marty any oxygen but he’s posting about the popularity of the CRA in 1964 as if it became popular in a vacuum and not after over a decade of civil disobedience and protests. If anything this is a great argument for why we don’t poll-test civil rights: the people will catch up.

I’m brainstorming a social meetup thing with a friend and the first rule of it is anyone can say “excuse me” and walk away from a conversation at any time, because life is too short to argue with a stranger, and that’s particularly true On Here

He’d better get a job with good insurance if he’s moving here and wants to keep up the biweekly hospital visits like his dad

What these politicians are doing when they put out dumb transphobic ads or say dumb transphobic things on stage is that they're weakening the movement either out of personal bigotry or out of doing incorrect electoral math, and they really should get shit for it.

Why repost an old shoe flapping racism when you could repost this skeet below about a super cool holiday boutique in Los Angeles on Saturday 11/7⬇️

lmao June Allyson slapped Joan Collin’s so hard she lost an earring god bless this movie

Why repost an old shoe flapping racism when you could repost this skeet below about a super cool holiday boutique in Los Angeles on Saturday 11/7⬇️

Evidence "shows that Trump lied about kicking Epstein out of his Mar-a-Lago club," according to a new report from the House Judiciary Dem staff. The report also reveals for the first time Beatrice Keul's account of allegedly having been raped by Trump. democrats-judiciary.house.gov/sites/evo-su...

I love that car commercials are like “yeah giant car so you can spend more time bonding with your kids!” and AI companies are like “what if this machine could help you lie about your child to their teacher”

The Brewers are just a steamroller good god

Me rattling off all the conspiracy theories that have origins in antisemitic tropes

the potato almost finished what @jenramose.online started

NEW: Florida Attorney General James Uthmeier said in an interview with extremist organization Live Action that his intervention in surrogacy cases is about promoting fetal personhood—an argument that could imperil not just surrogacy, but also abortion, IVF, and some forms of birth control.

So I make the statement, we all laugh, and then we turn to the door to see who my prom date will be. In walks Wayne Brady. (7/32)

There’s still time to stop this! See you at city hall tomorrow 👇🏼

Picture it. Los Angeles, 2003. (1/32 yeah it’s long just go with it)

The thing about me is I’ve Always Been Like This and the Ryan Seacrest story is my proof

“Didn’t cry today” becomes more of a challenge when I’ve got to unpick everything I stitched yesterday because the stitch I picked looks too much like Nazi lightning bolts for my taste

“Excuse me, but are you -?” “Haha, I get that a lot, but look at how normal my girlfriend’s appearance is!” “Wow, yeah, good point.” “That’s her CR-V right there, would internationally renowned actor Andrew Garfield be driving around LA in a Honda?”

Really hot celebrities should date me because I’m just attractive enough to settle for but not so hot that anyone would actually think they’d just seen, say, Chris Pine. No one would be like “wow I just saw Chris Pine at Laurel Hardware with his girlfriend, who is an LA 6.”