amy brown 👻

3 year old: [silently hands me a book] me: “do you want me to read this to you?” 3 year old: “I mean. I can’t read. so.”

YUP type-click-type.ghost.io/please-enjoy...

everyone’s always like amy. how do you post so good? I’ll let you in on a little secret:

There was this time Cleveland did a balloon release event and the tv news portentously declared "the Mistake on the Lake no more!" and then when the wind turned unexpectedly, the balloonfall became a disaster and the airport shut down and there were fatalities. Anyway this event has now been outdone

[menacingly] O-H

It’s even funnier when you know the correct answer is “in Albany”

Don't forget the Cheesecake Factory owner built a cult compound to last for 700 years in order to welcome the return of Meher Baba, the Sufism Reoriented guru and inspiration for the song "Baba O'Reilly" The House Of Worship The Cheesecake Factory Built | The FADER share.google/HcHXc1OXPeg8...

Hey Gemini what is my kid's name and what does she look like, I'm at her school play and I can't figure out which one it is

what if i started posing for photos with my family’s clean folded laundry the way people pose when they catch a really big fish

Haven’t seen anyone point out that, for the Ghost Rider announcement, Ryan Gosling was dressed like James Dean in Rebel Without A Cause (a movie where James Dean does not ride a motorcycle), which also means Gosling was dressed as Philip J. Fry.

did you know? when under duress, a toddler is capable of producing 3x its body weight in boogers

the white house doesn't look like a cheesecake factory. it looks like the dining room that real housewife of beverly hills dorit kemsley decorated at the buca di beppo in encino, specifically

the white house doesn't look like a cheesecake factory. it looks like the dining room that real housewife of beverly hills dorit kemsley decorated at the buca di beppo in encino, specifically

if you ever happen to see someone post a joke you don't understand or discuss a subject you aren't familiar with, you are well within your right to complain, and perhaps even scold them if necessary. you are their customer and you have rights

Love Island fans might like to hear that Bryce joined James Talarico on the campaign trail at a Whataburger yesterday

everything reminds me of her

i can buy weed at the store instead of some shady guy’s apartment

found out that my mother in law decided she was aggressively pro trans rights literally by going, I don't know anything about this but everyone who is against trans rights is also against free school lunch, the issue I know and care a lot about, so this must be the correct way to feel about this

here, i made you this horrible turd in the shape of an explainer on Ethan and Hila Klein: slate.com/life/2026/10...

Saw an old guy with the craziest drip today