Andy Clark of the living dead

13 Aug

It's a joke, please stop explaining

Omg i got a tiny ereader that magnetically attaches to the back of my phone

21h

How is the ‘our product poses an existential threat to life on earth’ pitch not met with ‘we’re not giving you any more money and you’re all under arrest’?

Just a reminder, if you like these first of all seek help. Secondly there’s a whole feed of them. It’s a lot bsky.app/profile/did:...

Andy Clark of the living dead@andycruns.bsky.social

Stupid lore sunday Of all the species in the galaxy the Orks are perhaps the most pervasive. By nature they are a nomadic species, travelling in vast hordes in search of the next scrap. Coupled with their unusual reproductive cycle they are both extremely common and difficult to dislodge. 1/

Battlefleet Mokey engaged an enormous greenskin fleet over Gorg-83 destroying hundreds of attack craft until an inordinately large Rok breached the screen. Lance fire carved it into large fragments designated Alpha, Gamma, Kappa, and Lamda. While three of these burned up, Lamda made planetfall 9/

Unable to contact the planetary defence force, a detachment of naval armsmen was deployed to cleanse the infestation before it could take hold. Many men and women lost their lives down on Frag-L Rok. End

Imperial fleets do their best to prevent planetfall, for once a beachhead has been established Orks will pour in in massive numbers. Capital ships engage at range while smaller frigates and cruisers work to intercept Ork landing craft. 7/

Small dropships can be eliminated relatively easily however these are not the Orks only method of reaching the ground. Asteroids are captured, hollowed out, and fitted with retro rockets, and restraint harnesses to carry huge numbers of Boyz to earth. These Roks can be hundreds of meters across 8/

When they reach a critical mass, a Waaagh will begin, a galactic crusade whose objective is war itself. Billions of Orks spread across the stars in ramshackle craft in a nigh unstoppable green tide. They cannot be reasoned with, they care little for losses other species would deem catastrophic. 5/

Their space craft come in almost infinite variety, constructed as they are to the whims of their Meks. Space hulks are commandeered and bent to the warbosses will, accompanying massive fleets that ply the void until a suitable target is identified, often by accident. 6/

Once a Ork clan reaches a certain size an unknown mechanism spontaneously creates specialisms. Orks will develop aptitude for engineering, medicine of a sort, and even psychic powers. These Meks, Doks, and Weirdboys all have their place in the growing society. 3/

Though crude by other species standards Orks technology should not be underestimated. They have mastered esoteric weaponry, teleportation, and even warp travel. Inquisitorial examination has determined that their devices should not work but appear to be enabled by a gestalt belief. 4/

Andy Foster (Heresy Miniatures)

Ork physiology is geared almost entirely to war. Their stature is linked directly to their prowess in battle with successful warriors growing to quite remarkable size. They also give off spores that can germinate in almost any substrate, growing into juvenile Orks in a matter of months. 2/

Andy Clark of the living dead reposted

@heresyminiatures.com

Need as many orders etc as I can please, workshop rent due tomorrow, £900. (A return to a lack of orders means an end to wishful thinking about the future i suppose) heresyminiatures.com/shop heresyminiatures.etsy.com

If you had a bowl of identical jelly beans and like 20% of them were instantly lethal would you go ahead and eat them? This is why ‘not all men’ is a fucking stupid thing to say.

7 reasons why Return of the Jedi (1983) is a Christmas film 1. Relative back from uni acting cool 2. Whose idea was Centreparcs? 3. Teddy bears 4. Unexpected guests 5. Granddad is super right wing 6. Family fight 7. Broke new toy that replaced last years broken toy

Andy Clark of the living dead@andycruns.bsky.social

7 reasons why Empire strikes back (1980) is a Christmas film: 1. Snow 2. Hurried packing for stupid road trip 3. Unexpected guests 4. Long chats with guy who’s been day drinking 5. That’s your dad 6. Dangerous driving 7. Off to A&E with a ridiculous injury

Andy Clark of the living dead@andycruns.bsky.social

7 reasons why Star Wars (1977) is a Christmas film: 1. Staying with distant relatives 2. All your mates are elsewhere 3. Weird guy with a beard gives you a hand me down 4. That’s not your dad 5. Pub 6. Boring road trip 7. Millions of people cried out and were suddenly silenced

Gazpacho Soup@whatsupgazpacho.bsky.social

7 Reasons why Die Hard (1988) is a Christmas film: 1 "snow" 2 ho ho ho 3 a bearded man with a secret 4 IT'S LITERALLY SET AT CHRISTMAS 5 Christmas tree 6 presents 7 knitwear

Can’t help but think that a ‘distinctly British approach to AI’ would be both half-arsed and convinced of its inherent superiority. And that’s just AI

Poorly daughter and clock change meant i got to see 3am twice.

So i win daylight saving or something? I’m so tired…

Well i learned today that Hitlers mountain retreat was on fire and, well, that feels about 8 decades late

@grumpykiltpin.bsky.social

Tomorrows stupid lore sunday came to me in a fever dream, you have been warned

Andy Clark of the living dead reposted

grumpykiltpin

Moving right along. A 2nd-edition Dreadnought for the Legion of the Damned💀 A big stompy robot covered in flames. What could be more Warhammer than that? #Nerdlings #oldhammer #legionofthedamned #warhammercommunity

Andy Clark of the living dead reposted

Donovan LeDoux

@donovanl.bsky.social

Replying to @andycruns.bsky.social

Got my Pestigor unit looking nice and gross last weekend. Am hoping to dial up the skin tones this weekend.