Athena Scalzi

Hey guys what should we call this service that makes moving easier?? Oh my god… I’ve got it..

I had a dream I met John Cena which is.. a very interesting celebrity for my brain to pick 🤠

A guy just drove by me on a motorized unicycle drinking a beer. He is living the dream.

It’s 85 degrees out today and I just got an email about Christmas decor and that “cheer is here!” To any company considering promoting Christmas stuff right now in the middle of September, DON’T. Y’ALL LOOK SILLY AS HELL.

Okay y’all I am at DragonCon but my GOD. It is crowded. Holy hell. I am hiding in my room. Idk how y’all are doing this I’m lowkey claustrophobic holy heck guys. I got my first ribbon at least.

Someone please help me genuinely how the FUCK DO I GET THEM OFF LIKE ACTUALLY PLEASE

Not to be sentimental and ruin my clearly very cool and chic internet persona, but I am very proud of my dad!! I’m so happy for him to have won this award and I know it means the world to him to have so many people enjoy his work!! ❤️❤️

Yooo does anyone want the whiskey inside cuz I just want this damn bottle oh my lord

I sat down outside right next to a huge bug and instead of freaking out like usual, I took a picture! Enjoy this freaky ass bug

More Saja content because I know what the people really want

Saja seems to be okay with me staying with him while my parents are at WorldCon

All Star is playing at this Hooters and I really feel like I am living the dream rn. If only there were some sort of flying vehicle I could get on that somehow was like Hooters, but in the sky.

Well I WOULD attend if y’all had decided to take me with you instead of having me pet sit like a RESPONSIBLE person

The casino I’m at is playing Golden and honestly it’s making me feel like… I shouldn’t give up! I should preserve!! Keep gambling!! We’re going UP UP UP!! ITS OUR MOMENT!!

I think I might be the exception to this.

I don’t always make wise decisions on Facebook marketplace, but today I managed to score a brand new Kingfisher Lego set for 40 bucks!

I looked up vegetarian restaurants in my area (there aren’t any, tbf) and Apple Maps was like “omg look!! A burger restaurant!! Is this what you wanted?!” And I even thought, maybe it’s listed as a burger restaurant but it’s all veggie burgers! So I went to their website. Nope, all American beef! 😐

OMFG I GOT THE MEMO OKAY SHEESH

Yesterday, I picked up a bunch of pizzas for my cousin’s kid’s birthday party. I had the pizzas in my car for no more than ten minutes. Guess what my car smells like a full 24 hours later. AND NOT FAINTLY EITHER.

Ahh CVS knows JUST what I need, even when I didn’t know I needed it!

You ALSO avoid going outside, though. Not the flex you think it is, buster

I literally JUST woke up this is so upsetting 💀💀💀💀💀

For months I was resisting buying an Owala water bottle because I’m not huge on having like 20 different versions of the same item like Stanelys, Owalas, etc, BUT my patience paid off because I donated blood yesterday and got an OWALA DUPE WATER BOTTLE LMAOO we love a freebie dupe 🤣

OKAY THEY HAVE TO GO NOW, THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE

Big talk from a guy who doesn’t believe in the Oxford comma, I don’t wanna hear NOTHIN grammatical from you

Someone is using my YouTube account which is objectively not good BUT I do appreciate that they watched the twilight meme clip of “where the hell you been loca?” And epic rap battles of history isn’t half bad either

Just got a rental car and someone left their sunglasses in here. It’s awfully bright out currently. Sure could use a pair of sunglasses. The question is.. do I dare 😳

I TOLD you not to feed them after midnight!!

I just wanna have a quick friendly chat with whoever made today’s Wordle

YOU’VE MADE IT BIG, DAD. To think, my father.. a DJ.. I’m so proud 🤧🤧

Well I DID buy you a cranberry oatmeal cookie as a gift today while I was out, but it’s starting to look reallllyyyy tasty

@scalzi.com just admit your stance on the Oxford comma is wrong

If you like ethical, philanthropic, mindfully crafted honey, tea, body care, and candles, you should totally check out my post over Bee Inspired Goods! whatever.scalzi.com/2026/07/13/a...

Soo incredibly thankful someone is adopting these two brothers together, but oh my gosh will I miss them!! Who knew fostering was so bittersweet! Oh my sweet Creamsicle and Mister Cookies!! 🤍🤍🤍

What I imagine people mean when they tell me I look so much like my father

I got an ad for Thredup, which is not uncommon, but today they decided I’d really like to buy a jacket that has been vomited on. Interesting marketing tactic.