Azfang, Keeper of Animals ✅

That’s it. These men are American citizens now. Someone fill out the paperwork, they’re ours now. I guess they can do dual citizenship but we’re keeping them.

A pinnacle of the hater’s art. An inspiration that I can only strive to live up to.

“Director involved cuddling.”

Not at all the biggest point here, but what the fuck is with his hair. Guy. You can just fellate the man without adopting his hairstyle. His brain is pudding, he can’t even tell anymore.

This was crafted in a lab to cause me, personally, to have a stroke.

He traffics cocaine.

I have no idea what this is about. And so I feel the sinking dread of another episode of “Are we annoyed about a random teenager on the internet or the president?”

Well, nothing a pardon and a cabinet position can’t fix.

Today, as you know, is Juneteenth, observing the end of chattel slavery in the US. So if you have any republicans in your life, give them some space to process their grief over this attack on their values.

Sundrop is always to hand, and always willing to contribute his pink little nose.

I…I want to contribute cute animals but all I can come up with are these misshapen things. I’m so sorry. I tried my best.

Let’s do this.

I have absolutely no idea if this is parody. None.

GONDOR CALLS FOR AID

You tell ‘em, Ralph. You’re okay in my book.

Fascist mouthpiece receives extremely gentle pushback, throws temper tantrum. God, is there a maximum safe dosage of schadenfreude? Because this can’t be safe.

What I’m hearing here is that we could have won the Cold War by deploying Walz to bang the communism out of the Russians.

Mods are asleep post dog

Bro really said 😧.

Grandpa has good days and bad days, but the bad days are getting more frequent. Today he spent his time bopping to music from his youth instead of lashing out, and we’re hoping he stays with that. wapo.st/4dK01kt

So true story: many years back when I was but a wee sprog, I read something he wrote in the back of a Dilbert book about the double slit experiment proving souls or something and distinctly remember being very ??? about it. Him being a crazy person really made some thing fall into place.

I dunno what the Venn diagram overlap is of people with sewing machines, an interest in 40k and the supplies for wax seals, but it’s at least one! Anyway I put prayers to the Omnissiah on my sewing machine. With time honored incantations used by generations of technicians of unhappy equipment!

USN: [sweating profusely] sir, we…the patrol boat count. We’re outnumbered. We need your help. US Coast Guard: *grinds out cigarette, slowly moves forward in his shadowed chair into the light* Well. I wondered when you were going to be in enough trouble to come to me.

Weirdo: “I love free speech!!!” Everyone: “Christ you sound like an asshole.” Weirdo: “no not like that”

Hey you don’t gotta do Clippy dirty like that. Clippy was doing his best. I mean his best was terrible, but, like, a real person could describe the idea and someone could say it was worth a shot. He doesn’t deserve to be lumped in with this AI garbage, which was obviously stupid from word go.

I’ve never used cocaine. But is this what cocaine feels like? I think this might be what cocaine feels like.

I ran into a Death Korpsman!

Tesla. I’d really like to see it.

How to tell you’re not the office favorite:

Fine someone who loves you like this birb loves cocaine.

Azfang: Or…actually no that’s it. Maybe a little too on the nose.

Megan McArdle is…right? about a thing? I’m so confused right now. wapo.st/3ApuztH

Jimmy Carter: if “I lived, bitch” could be a person.

I’m not okay with my internal monologue becoming used in GOP training.