fischlure

My friends’ charity is collecting funds for sick, homeless pets. Can you give $100–$500? Let’s make caring count. Bitcoin: 1A16dMcAU58uFbvmBBenrpZtQNd9Nf5v9W USDT Ethereum: 0x488DE5AaC5548D99E3151E33918e98dF80ae5B7d USDT Tron: TCtsmCeyNbxJ9kBPho98rn3B2tDwXrKZHW

new idea that would never work: if you're not strong or tall enough to load/unload your carry-on bag into the overhead compartment you should have to check that shit

(rubbing my temples so hard that brain matter starts leaking out of my ears and nose) if you replace "West Virginia" with "California" it's now a Red Hot Chili Denvers song

you're telling me a saudi rapped this bohemian (queen reference)

[guy who gets fired by another guy whose famous line is "you're fired"]: whaddya mean

[living in alternate universe where dogs have opposable thumbs] damn these dogs got that dog in them re: their opposable thumbs

i just frew up in my mouf :(

No Hair Club For Old Men

Writing erotica is very easy. "His dick and balls looked good enough to eat. So I did. Eat them. I had a thanksgiving feast with plenty of stuffing. Sexually." Child's play.

[guy who gets fired by another guy whose famous line is "you're fired"]: whaddya mean

they're called Depends because determining whether or not you need to wear them Depends on if you're crapping your pants too much

they're called "drum Phils" because of Phil Collins

[guy who thinks people with big butts take larger poops than people with small butts]: damn shakira probably firing off some huge dookers!

ants that can fly... "flying ants" so to speak... glad no such thing exists. don't think i could deal with it mentally, given the economy and such

having to poop shortly after taking a shower<<<<<<<

people talk about "looking for a needle in haystack," but i feel like that would take a long time. needles are small and easy to lose even in the best of circumstances. if one were hidden in a haystack, it seems you'd have to painstakingly sift through every last piece of hay to find it. what a pain

stuck on toilet while plane is landing

big missed opportunity by nintendo not calling it the Switch tU. woulda been a slam dunk.

I am a picking eater, and man, my taste bubs went off the roof.

the burger robber

hawk tuah the polls (hop to the polls)

songs about phunking by big black eyed peas

Mario Speedwagon

they're called "drum Phils" because of Phil Collins

tfw you watch ep 5 of the excellent secret base Vikings docuseries hope it gets better @jonbois.bsky.social

"Dinner supper" should be a thing just like "soda pop".

hey all! just a heads-up for you in case you missed it. on november 27th, 1905 in ionia, michigan, a wagon full of hay drove by. and then later some guy stood around for a while

Took a dooker that looked like a stone henge (singular)

saw a critter running down the sidewalk across the street last night, asked myself "cat or raccoon?" and concluded that it was none of my business

When I was in 7th grade a kid at the lunch table said he bought the new Creed CD but that he had to use a fake ID to buy it because there was a parental warning advisory on it

fireworks? more like firewokes! the darn things have gone woke. too many colors

dog

dogs

tfw you prime up and fire off an enormous duker right before you were going to shower anyways >>>>>>>>

Atlanta... Pretty good city

mr fries man

Just ate a hot dog. Pretty good.

wow

if there's already tp in the toilet bowl before i start to have a standing pee, the force of my stream tears up the tp and makes it look like a big bowl of egg drop soup