🎃 Allyssa S. Pumpkins 🎃

Thought my cat would be a cinephile by now

God I love seeing Butker miss field goals

I’m just really grateful that cats domesticated themselves. I don’t know where I’d be without them.

Me if I was in ‘Wildwood’: Crows took my brother… Sorry, that’s a lie. I don’t have a brother, but living with crows sounds great so I’m trying to get to where they are.

I don’t know where to be honored that my neighbor entrusted me to grab an important package for her or insulted that she knew I would be home on a Friday night

I hate baseball… See you all in the spring

Padres played scared and Stammen managed the game scared

Obsessed with how my father spells Padres players’ names

Would love for the Padres players to make a pact that they’ll all use condoms in the months of January and February

Being a San Diego sports fan is not for the faint of heart. Do not recommend.

Hot days in Los Angeles are my snow days

As a Padres fan, I hate having to see and hear Hosmer doing pre- and post-game coverage

Don’t tell Apple but I am so looking forward to the day my AirPods and Magic Mouse die so I can finally be rid of lightning cables

weird day to be worried about state-run tv, gavin!

yo @espn.com and @nwslsoccer.com can you tell someone to clean the camera lens in Chicago?

As someone who has made it very clear that I will not vote for Newsom unless he is the nominee, this is so stupid. Voters have repeatedly told the party they want a choice in who the nominee is. Ordaining someone is the dumbest thing Democrats can do.

Women begged Tottenham to not hire RDZ and we were ignored. Now look at us.

I think the Rams got their flight choice wrong

If there’s one thing I know it’s that Americans are dumb enough to vote for a Republican party that has repeatedly fucked them over just for the possibility of that $5,000 bribe

I’m trying to help my father with his first fantasy draft and he is so preoccupied with who other people are drafting that he keeps missing his window and it autopicks for him. This is my nightmare.

It’s been two years and I’m still pissed My Lady Jane wasn’t picked up for a second season

Tottenham Hotspur Stadium playing Dolly Parton music at halftime 🥹🤍

Quick thoughts on the Browns announcing Deshaun Watson is their starting QB

Because this is once again back in the news, the @nwslsoccer.com still needs to make a statement as to why they are fine allowing the Browns ownership group, who gave a huge contract to a man credibly accused of assaulting and harassing 27 women, to have an NWSL team

We need to get Kwanza Jones to a @sandiegowavefc.com match

Kwanza Jones: "Yo soy la madre de los Padres"

Loser behavior from a guy who’s clinging like a shriveled old barnacle to a sport he doesn’t actually care about in a desperate bid for relevance. Do not cede one inch to him or anyone who acts this way.

Me when my cat eats something she's not supposed to

I fully expected Tottenham to lose because that front three was never going to score, but hoped for a draw. I, however, did not expect the loss to be that embarrassing. That didn’t run through my mind until the twelfth minute of the match.

Time once again for one of the canonical soccer Twitter post

I guess one ray of hope we can take from this awful start is that the last few Tottenham managers we ended up firing had incredible starts to the season. Logic then says a bad start can only lead to success, right?

I was hoping being a Tottenham supporter would be a *little* easier this season…