Bryan Howell, for reals

Okay someone suggested pinning a link of stuff I’ve made so, sure: Cutscenes from Star Wars: The Force Unleashed - Ultimate Sith Edition: youtu.be/qzhLoJKf2zE?... “The Summoning” youtu.be/xn54Fy8iz10?... “Copy” youtu.be/0irzwtG5kmE?... “Lights Out” youtu.be/qRLFDs5Fwc0?...

Be advised: after the SNL Weekend Update emoji skit, I’m officially adopting 🚡 to represent “bulletproof self-confidence in the face of all doubters.”

This headline from Salon cracks me up, like it was her fault. Rebecca Black, why would you do this?!?

Thai iced tea should be a breakfast staple. There, I said it.

Trinity: “I’ve never seen that before. You moved like they do.”

It’s finally dawning on me that modern tech bros all saw the Matrix as kids and decided they want to be Cypher. Just living in an incubation pod, an impenetrable cocoon of tech, AI, and simulated experiences between them and any direct human interaction, friction, or creative challenge.

@penzu.bsky.social is this thing on?

With all the constant updates Apple makes to iOS, is it too much to ask them to add a left-facing thumbs up emoji so I can easily make a Fonzie-style emote? See? See?!?

Me drinking coffee WITHOUT eggnog for the first time in a week:

The Action - Little Boy [UK, pop psych] (67) “The influential masterpiece no one was ever allowed to hear. . . . epic, heartfelt, melodic socks to the gut . . . think The Who’s Tommy meets The Byrds’ Fifth Dimension.” See the https://redd.it/ucbuqj https://youtu.be/x4LaEnKzQTg

What’s the hottest toy this holiday season? It’s Li’l Donny Naps-a-Lot, the only doll with real Presidential Snoozing Action™️!

Been a few years since I’ve done one of these… The 23rd annual Screenwriting Challenge by @nycmidnight.bsky.social kicks off on February 13th! Learn more at nycmidnight.com/scc

First, I hope this succeeds. Second, I want to write the screenplay.

For anyone who needs to hear this today: Yer mom.

Silicon Valley researchers invent device that annihilates all life on Earth if anyone in a 100-mile radius thinks of an even number. “Look, if we don’t develop this, someone else will, so we might as well be first.”

Okay so what happens if he literally just knocks down the entire White House by accident? Is it like Jenga? Is he out of the game?

Ok Christ I’m back stop with the begging already. Oh wait those were geese nevermind.

OK, is it me, or has Siri gotten incredibly bad at transcription in the past three days for some reason?

Most people don’t know that the phrase “grand slam” is a shortened version of the phrase “grandmother slam-mother”

You’re reminiscing about the 80s… what song or album is playing in the background? youtu.be/6RUIeX6UCT8?...

“Mr. McGee, don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry. …or sad, come to think of it. And I’m insufferable when I’m in a good mood. In fact let’s cut to the chase and just admit I’m not a very likable person. Anyway, what was your original question? Oh yes, I am the Hulk.”

Okay new rule: everyone has to have a catchphrase that they shout when they climax during sex. And I’m calling dibs on “That’s a spicy meatball!”

Psst! I am worthy. Pass it on. …wait maybe I misinterpreted the intent on this one…

yeah man, I’m in the band, I play backup goat?

They say confidence comes from success; you build your confidence one small victory at a time, steadily growing a pile of evidence marked “I got this.” Ummm, anyone else have the opposite? Every time you succeed it goes in a pile marked “You got lucky, but next time…” Yeah, uh, me neither. 😬

There should be a Tesla condom, ugly as hell, used mostly for self-drivers, and explodes routinely.

Green today? Sure! 𝘒𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘺 green? Good god, not with this complexion.

gofund.me/2f3c565e

“We will, in fact, take it. “ -if Chuck Schumer replaced Dee Snider in Twisted Sister

[They stab Caesar.]

There’s a lesson here for all of us, folks.

Yeah. A shutdown would have been bad. *Almost* as bad as voting for destroying the most popular social programs in US history, throwing 75 million people off health insurance and food assistance, *AT THE MINIMUM*

An unforeseen consequence of JoAnn Fabrics going out of business is that it will be MUCH harder to find enough hot glue guns to reattach all those Cybertruck body panels.

Uhhhhh anyone know why my Bluesky handle suddenly says “invalid handle”…? It’s a pretty mundane string of letters and numbers…

Among the material devastation to everyday people, Senate Dems have now blown a hole in their ability to work with the House. We had an agreed upon plan, House took immense risk, then Senate turned around midway and destroyed it w/ a fear-based, inexplicable abdication. They own what happens next.

Hey @gailsimone.bsky.social who is this lady all up in my digital comics she looks like a bad mama jama…

Cool so what happens if GOP attach a national abortion ban to a CR? You'll vote for that too? 🚮

I gotta check out some of this Shakespeare guy’s albums his lyrics are FIRE.

Elon Musk is like if Lex Luther traded in 75% of his IQ for hair plugs.

Chuck Schumer’s only hope now is to pretend he was reenacting the classic Mirror Universe episode of Star Trek TOS.

If pulp adventure, scifi/cyberpunk, supernatural horror and/or retro '80s supernatural scifi adventure are your vibe, I might have something for you. 🤠 Available wide, links at www.todddowning.com #writerslift #READERS #WhateverItTakes #ShamelessSelfpromoFriday #booksky

My greatest hidden strength is that I’m not a douchewagon like Jeff Bezos. www.inc.com/jessica-stil...

Okay it’s a sequel to Casablanca that follows Rick and Renault as they head off to fight the Nazis. Rick Blaine is played by The Rock and Louis Renault is played by Iko Uwais. COMING THIS SUMMER “Louis?” “Yeah, Rick?” *cocks gun* “This looks like the start of a beautiful friendship.”

Okay @moviessilently.bsky.social you’re my only hope. I SWEAR that the choreography from Lady Gaga’s SNL performance of Abracadabra reminds me of an old cartoon. At first I thought it was Hell’s Bells from 1929 but it’s not quite right. Am I nuts?

I walk away from Bluesky for like a DAY and Chuck Schumer is playing footsie with the Nazis. I swear to god I can’t leave you people alone for ONE MINUTE.