Sleve McDichael

Backrooms is a Christmas movie

I hope Man Utd stay this way forever. It's such delightful schadenfreude.

Me every weekend with my one child

On another day we win that game about 7-3. The referee was another odd fellow.

What does Stormtrooper armour actually protect them from? Tickles?

Reacher and Neagley sitting in a tree, N-O-T T-O-U-C-H-I-N-G

The dog's favourite thing is to snuggle in bed with us. As I come upstairs at night she waits at the top with an impatient look on her face, tapping her foot and looking at her wristwatch.

Taught a history lesson today. The kids each had to choose 4 objects to go in a time capsule. Me with the first kid: so what's going in your time capsule? Him: *gesturing forcefully* a spider Me: a spider? Him: a spider! Me: a real spider?? Him: It's the dead spider from my bedroom!

Me: ... A random stranger: ... Me: ...did you know there's a film coming out next week where a bloke gets swallowed by a whale and has to fight his way out?

Had a healthy dinner so I'm obviously going to double my usual evening snack allowance.

I'm annoyed that Spurs are pretending - once again - that they're shit enough to get relegated. I wish they'd stop teasing us. We all know that the world is too cruel to allow us that happiness.

Referees let teams waste time as if the very concept has never occurred to them. "What, this bunch of jolly good chaps? Cheat? Never!"

Smugly admiring myself for having hated Ed Sheeran from the very first moment I saw him.

A man whose name will continue to be sung by West Ham fans for many years to come.

Off to West Ham tonight. My wife is always concerned that the game might not be very fun to watch and - as someone that went to his first game in 1989 aged 6 - I'm always like:

I'm not one for meaningless nostalgia but I do think the UK would be a bit better off if they brought back Happy Eater.

West Ham were in danger of looking a bit competent at times tonight. I mean, we still look a bit like we're being controlled by a kid on an X-Box who's forgotten which button is for passing, but he's started to learn.

I bought new pots and pans today and am ridiculously excited about them, I am so middle aged.

Trying to think of anyone as universally admired as Dolly Parton and coming up blank.

Moved into our new house today - a process that first started in April 2025. It's felt like a punishment at times, but we have a lovely home at last. Daughter is very excited about decorating her room. Wants to paint "poo poo bum bum" on the wall apparently. Might talk her out of it.

The animation on the Bluey Movie looks bad and I'm annoyed about it. I am 43 years old.

This is exactly why you become a marine biologist.

"You'll never guess what happened the other day. You remember that guy I was seeing? Yeah, we'd been on like 4 or 5 dates. I was at work and my phone ran out of battery. By the time I got home I had like 200 messages on WhatsApp and this *absolutely insane* voice note, listen to this..."

The most unrealistic part of The Odyssey was expecting us to believe that this puppy grew up to be this dog. There's just no way. I love them both, deeply, but those are two different breeds of dog.

Newsflash, asshole! I've been Odysseus the entire god damn time!

I love Ronaldo. He's having a lovely time. He looks like he had no idea he was expected to participate today, he's just gonna try to enjoy the experience. "Hi guys, I used to be the best player in the world, who remembers that?"

Gianni Infantino looks like The Toxic Avenger, pass it on.

This game is making me feel better about spending yesterday afternoon watching the live stream of Southend vs West Ham.

Sorry, people actually watched the half time show?? They just left their TV on and watched it?

A ridiculous game of football, well done.

Could have used some guys like this against Argentina on Wednesday.

I think my child might be a bit dramatic. She just dropped this bloodstained note through our bedroom door.

Me, a bellend: "this doesn't look sustainable" Tuchel, a tactical genius: "these Argentinan lads don't look like scoring, they keep missing by centimeters"

Tuchel absolutely fucked that.

Just spent a solid minute looking at this picture thinking "who's this cunt?"

As if we needed more evidence that Cristiano Ronaldo is a fucking dick, he's not going to cry, despite the fact that everyone really wants to see it.

Refereeing the Belgium game tonight...

I really fucking hate this England team. A bunch of cunts who have been told they're good and believed it to the point where they no longer recognise when they're being shit.

Bad. Very very bad. Have Ghana defended well or have England not really made them defend at all?

The face of a dog who is just remembering why he doesn't really like football

If they're going to insist on having her talking in front of those kitchen units then the least they can do is have her pull out some gag items from the drawers, like Peter Beardsley or something.