chrisafer

I felt downright young here.

I think the fuck not.

I see what you did there.

So I’m guessing whatever AI tool Daybook uses to respond to comments on its Instagram account was not trained on Internet snark.

He’s good at lounging.

There have been so many impeachable offenses, but lying about how you were a hero on a day that 2,753 people died in NYC in the 9/11 disaster—when you were on the other side of town, safely calling local media to brag about how you now had the tallest downtown building—is such a despicable one

This will fix me.

“TV for you”

flic.kr/p/7284q

Fuuuuuccck!

DC music lovers, take note: tickets now on sale for Imperial Teen at Comet Ping Pong on Nov. 6. imperialteen.com/shows/

Currently chair dancing to: youtu.be/zveNaOU2-zE?....

Accidentally on porpoise

“Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma” has sent me down an R.E.M. rabbit hole and I am grateful. open.spotify.com/track/3Q9LeW...

Hot tub Pro choice Pepper jack cheese Stressed Video game NSAIDs are more a way of life than a vibe

Is he… you know…?

Is anyone doing irony better than Charli XCX? Literally anyone?

Courtney Love Detective Agency is the new Widows Bay.

Bye

Just had an obnoxiously loud taxpayer-funded flyover of my neighborhood at 11:35 on a Sunday night. Fuck that pathetic, incontinent, senile man-child.

How exactly does one get a random bruise in their armpit region?

Nope.

Workplace reviews have really continued a 40+ year trend of “Chris is a delight to have in class but would be more successful if he were to improve his focus.”

I enjoy that there are still things I should know that I either never knew or forgot. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2007_Bo...

During the Q&A following Ben McKenzie’s “Everyone Is Lying to You for Money,” no one asked about Imogen Heap.

“… current federal conditions” is a heckuva euphemism for “on the pathway to being a failed state.”

Meh

Not sure what I’m teaching the algos about me, but I’m just gonna go with it.

Seagram’s should sue for defamation.

I really dislike this timeline.

I know this shouldn’t be my first thought when I read about a far right troll saying an MPD officer should be killed, but people are hanged not hung… well, unless we’re not talking about executions. Has anyone considered that Jake Lang is just a size queen?

There were a lot of fun things to this weekend but I don’t think anything could top the 8 year old boy racing down W street on a scooter screaming “Party at the beach down in Copacabana.”

In a world of Jill Zarins, be a Candiace Dillard Bassett.

What's the point of having "fuck you" money if you're more of a "thank you, sir, can I please have another?" kind of guy?

A publisher who lays off a reporter whose pen is freezing because she's covering a frigid war zone while dodging missiles is not an editor you want to work for, in a more perfect world

We used to wait until someone died to name things for them. He may be the first president whose death inspires more un-naming than naming.

Folks in r/andor currently arguing about whether Minnesota is Ghorman situation or more like Ferrix. www.reddit.com/r/andor/comm...

I guess if I’m going to try to be a personality hire I’m going to have to develop a personality.

In Haunted Buddies 4, we're including a groundbreaking scene where Vampira opens the door to Globby's bedroom, and we see Globby in bed with another glob. Which is huge I mean, for Disney to include a scene as unapologetically gay as this? Right?

Trying to reverse engineer the prompt responsible for this level of hot garbage might’ve broke my brain…

Meanwhile cats just want a box that’s one inch too small for them.

Enigmas never age. Goonies never say die.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this is bad...

April *is* the cruelest month.

Oh, well, that’s terrifying.