Cousin Danny

Every Airbnb instruction list is like, "Hey, you dumb fuck. You wanted to stay in my shitty investment property? Asshole. Fine, I'll fucking let you, dipshit. The water heater is broken, by the way. Fix it or I'll charge you $200. And no laughing past 7 pm! We record everything."

This is just boys describing the rules of a board game they like, not the actual world we live in.

Put it on the pile friends I'm ready to suffer!

AI is conscious AND it is my girlfriend AND it is my slave. A perfect scenario for me, a normal person. Not gonna think too deeply about this. Now do all other living human people deserve the level of investment devoted to my Tamogotchi slave girlfriend? Not so fast.

The lower middle class urge to have well-stocked non-perishables 🧻🧼🪥

When I see stuff like this I just remember that there are hundreds of games made before the slop era and GPU crisis that I have never played. If the spigot shut off today I'd still be busy for the rest of my life, before these demons ruined the industry

The American white collar workforce started working from home three days a week for like six months a year into COVID and executives so thoroughly lost their minds over this that they installed Trump II. If anything, AI will create the 7-day workweek.

Parents cannot accept the damage that being a piece of shit as a personality has done to their relationships. They cheerlead for fascists and crooks on social media then face their families in real life with doe-eyed indignation until the breaking point.

Window unit ACs fighting for their lives in LA this weekend 🫠

Devastating news out of Culver City today. Respect and love to all our local transit operators. This is completely unacceptable!

Took LA Metro and CC Bus to see The Odyssey in 70mm downtown LA today. Athena's favor got me there in under an hour both ways. Great movie. Be sure to stay for the Aeneid post-credits teaser. ⛵

At a child's birthday party yesterday and caught some fun boomer one-offs. "How did they let them DO that?!" (Build housing in Calabasas) "Socialists! Communists!" About some organizations "Not ultra-woke!" "The guy has a podcast on Spotify and he knows things about Israel no one else does."

Tobias the stoic. #animorphs #booksky

Desk clerk: "Nice Zelda hat!" Me: "Thanks!" Desk clerk: "I'm excited for the Ocarina of Time remake. I've never played it, but it was my mom's favorite game as a kid." Me:

GTA ah law enforcement in the #animorphs literary universe #booksky

When's the last time anyone got a good deal on something? I feel like that's a lost part of our culture.

Chomping on my pals late at night in #animorphs book 7. #booksky

Reading some.of my favorite children's literature about young kids turning into animals. #animorphs #booksky

America is over bro pack it up

I'm reading #Animorphs again #booksky

Every piece of cake I've ever had has been fine.

Yeah, but can the Chinese use slurs at work now?

Eating a second ice cream sandwich tonight. For the troops.

HSA, FSA, FHA, IRA, 401k, 529... An arcane gauntlet of financial and bureaucratic mini-games dominate every necessity of life.

this is such a great encapsulation of what the various factions of the reactionary right want. i might add that they envision themselves as slave masters and the rest of us, in one way or another, as their slaves. betterdonkey.substack.com/p/the-vra-wa...

Thank you @microsoft.com for forcing a midnight update and rebooting my PC which closed all my applications and deleted my WIP drawing. Thank you.

Novels like Don Quixote are what I refer to as tales of Classic Buffoonery. Where the protagonists are silly guys who go on misguided or otherwise fraught adventures. E.g., The Odyssey, Of Mice and Men, Candide, Moby Dick, etc. If you want a genuine analysis of DQ, I highly recommend this: #booksky

The "y" in "chocolatey" seems suspicious to me. Like why did they say it that way? What is really going on with these pancakes for children?

why breed dogs with jaws large enough to tear through Flesh, when you could breed dogs with minds large enougj to tear through Fallacy.....

Greetings from Hoboken, New Jersey! This city hasn’t reported a single traffic fatality since January 2017!! That’s why I’m here to see what Vision Zero designs they’ve implemented! 😯 Some examples include: curb extensions, intersection daylighting, bioswales! 👏🏽🚶🏻‍♀️🚶🏻‍♂️🏙️🌱

I forget who said it but I always think about a joke that says white people will say they have no childhood trauma then show up four hours early to the airport

This baby food tastes like a church.

Mamdani: If the NYC apartment you keep solely for bi-yearly affairs with your mistress costs over 5 million dollars, you gotta pay more tax NYPD officer who’s been on disability since 2006 because he stomped too hard on a lady during an arrest and fucked up his ankle: This is a travesty

What I like most about doing laundry is first just how long it takes. Then how immediately your children will smear peanut butter or some such on it.

If we can just rebrand electrification and solar power with "rugged individualist" propaganda the MAGA chuds will be all over it. Duped into their own best interests for once 🤔

they had our number when they said they couldn't retaliate against us for killing their national heroes because our heroes are cartoon characters

Everyone hated a little boy like this in elementary school.

Not on MY watch! ✋🛑🙅‍♂️

The end of the empire was visible from far away but you'd really have to squint to see how stupid it would be

not only are they not good people, this performative courting of nonexistent integrity is a bizarre waste of everybody's time

the same way eliminating car dealers, realtors and other parasitic right-wing industries needs to be a goal of the left for its own survival, eliminating chriorpactors, the supplements industry and other quack medicine needs to be on the agenda too