CrustaceanSingles

youtube.comsinging potYouTube video by Andrew Livingston

In which I make the instant pot pot sing a little youtube.com/shorts/yU5NJ...

I posted a tiny book I made! You can read it for free at ko-fi.com/post/Ive-bee...

5 Sept

I've read so much about Arabidopsis thaliana that I'm starting to think about growing it as an ornamental

3 Sept

Me in 2046: another thing we used to do was we would add superfluous and nonsensical suffixes to words. "Whomst'd've" and the like. I suppose some people thought it was funny... Some Kid: ok grandpa the tribe doesn't have enough water to keep you alive so can you please just not make this awkward

If the people could topple the vampire class, what would justice even look like? I have a couple suggestions that I thought up while having an angry shower this morning:

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And yes, the system has always been designed and built to prevent the monsters at the top from facing justice. But the system isn't invincible, and the powers that be have never been stupider. It doesn't have to be this way. A better future without these vampires is still possible.

Unfortunately I have a thing on the day of the revolution. A prior engagement that should provide a good alibi. But you guys should go. You'll do great.

If the people could topple the vampire class, what would justice even look like? I have a couple suggestions that I thought up while having an angry shower this morning:

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The surveillance merchants like Langley (of Flock) should be imprisoned for life (a year for every day their false positives have cost human beings will get it there very quickly) under constant surveillance viewable by anyone at any time.

Obviously it would be unbeneficial for society to allow medical care to for-profit healthcare executives and boards of directors.

If the people could topple the vampire class, what would justice even look like? I have a couple suggestions that I thought up while having an angry shower this morning:

The slop oligarchs, including but in no wise limited to Altman, Amodei, Musk, Zuckerberg, should never be allowed access to electricity, clean water, unpolluted air, or the attention and affirmation they so hollowly crave.

(We could also tell them that perfect simulations of their consciousness are being virtually tormented for trillions of subjective years, because that seems to work on them. Zuckerberg's, of course, also has no legs.)

28 July

full-length sesame street parody of Stagger Lee (Nick Cave version): "Broccoli"

8 Aug

"I'm the best vegetable, don't you know / and I'll crawl over fifty good cookies just to get to one big casserole / said Broccoli"

CrustaceanSingles reposted

slosifl

@slosifl.bsky.social

18 July

Robot Nanny: Good eye! I sure did. Guess I’m out of a job. Anything else I can help you with?

21 July

The Child, age fiveish: Let's pretend! Me: I've been pretending this whole time, dude! NONE of this is real

9 June

The child, age five, has already resolved to become a usurper

4 June

eatin string cheese hot dog style

CrustaceanSingles reposted

Ed Zitron

@edzitron.com

3 June

Replying to @kbethany.bsky.social

Same shit different ass I’m afraid

28 Apr

I can't reflexive an intransitive and that is why I lose my mind a little every time I see or hear "self-rising flour"

4 Apr

check this shit out

22 Mar

Poe stock air go proctor hawk

14 Mar

Guy who has listened to a ton of Andrew Bird but never heard of David Byrne, now listening to a ton of David Byrne in no particular order: Wow, this is super Andrew Bird-coded

14 Mar

can't believe my whole life nobody told me about David Byrne. what the hell, guys. I should have been listening to this for decades already

27 Feb

The Child is doing SOV word order, as a bit

25 Feb

Oh good, @firefox.com has just made the Android browser worse. URL bar bigger & rounder of course, gotta make it all look like a baby toy for tech idiots. But the real crime is the three-dot menu. Whatever the hell you call that. I'm not a UI designer but I know what sucks and this does big time

25 Feb

This baffling exercise in windows11-ification took a menu that had nearly everything I needed in a single tap to now require multiple taps to get to several common functions ("more" circled below). But at least it's all spaced out and round and ???

25 Feb

The people doing this shit should not be allowed to touch computers in this way. Maybe they can be placed on an airgapped reserve for adult iPad babies or something. But they shouldn't be making money doing this.

FROSHKILLER DOT DEAD 🪦 ☠️ (not really, it's for Halloween)

17 Feb

"But Pagliacci, I *am* a doctor!"

CrustaceanSingles reposted

@froshkiller.dev

4 Feb

Replying to @crustaceansingles.com

I dunno, I go back and forth on that

4 Feb

The Child, not yet five, describes the range between A and W as "above A and below W". This kid has abundant experience with books and text going top to bottom. This kid can read hundreds of words. Does not care about your arbitrary conventions.

4 Feb

Teach The Child about boustrophedon? Y/N

20 Jan

hello fellow tetrapods

19 Jan

No Minds, No Matters

11 Jan

*professor duncanishly* For Midterms!

Pcharnkov@manycoyote.bsky.social

bear the FUCK down

5 Jan

Every time I remember it I take a tiny bit more psychic damage from it

4 Jan

The Child, age four, has designed a biblically accurate pizza

ko-fi.com/Post/Look-P5...

1 Jan

30 Dec 2025

In which Grambo encounters a kind of line

23 Dec 2025

Working on a "statement on AI use" for a report on experimental cactus grafting. Any suggestions for improvement?

23 Dec 2025

> First of all, "AI" is a marketing lie (redundant, I know). Because the overblown text predictors sold under that name are terrible at what they do, and because I can tell the difference between good and bad things, I do not use them. Ever. At all.

23 Dec 2025

> And unless you are an aspiring p-zombie, you really shouldn't either.

CrustaceanSingles reposted

Emily Vee

@noobixcube.bsky.social

20 Dec 2025

Experiments and flaws abound. Also, pedantic taxonomy is definitely still in "probably was a @crustaceansingles.com comic" territory.

CrustaceanSingles reposted

Emily Vee

@noobixcube.bsky.social

19 Dec 2025

@crustaceansingles.com How do you even start one of these? Also, it's TOTALLY different and original because my guys aren't stick figures, right? COMPLETELY different thing. Even if this joke is so much like one of yours you may actually have done the exact same one before...

14 Dec 2025

having a Spiritual Experience learning about flow cytometry and getting to this hermetic diagram PS if you know how to get access to a flow cytometer* please tell me. I am going to need to compare chromosome counts in botanical samples in the next year. *in the regrettable USA, specifically SLC

3 Dec 2025

The Child, age 4, has a powerful urge to decorate for any holiday. We are making increasingly tiny christmas trees. This one is for Mouse Christmas. Where will it end

@yoloswaglord420.bsky.social

24 Nov 2025

The Four-Year-Old has begun to insist most vocally upon the importance of zero-indexing

CrustaceanSingles reposted

hot dog doctor

10 Nov 2025

im not legally allowed to post my actual thoughts on the government

@firefox.com Firefox once again re-enabled this stupid-ass RAM-hogging bullshit "use AI to suggest tabs and a name for tab groups" setting even though I keep disabling it. Stop shitting up the last decent browser goddamnit

Anyway, I'm off to about:config to look for more things to unfuck after the last update