Dan Hopper

RIP Donnie Iris, the all time greatest name to say in a Pittsburgh accent 🫡 www.post-gazette.com/news/obituar...

upon rewatching the sopranos i think part of why everyone hates AJ is bc by the end of the show he most directly implicates most people watching (lots of lip service re: caring about the world but endlessly bought off from doing anything by the comforts of empire)

Democrat: Donald Trump is flushing this country down the toilet! (Bluecheck Rando Materializes) Coastal elites need to realize that most real Americans live in their toilets and to them that is a compliment

In our local Jersey elections, this bagel shop owner who's constantly posting about politics put up a bunch of signs for a mayoral candidate & when they kept disappearing he put AirTags on them & claimed to trace the stolen signs to a rival candidate's car and police are now involved

Me: Remember, as we talked about, we have to leave in five seconds My Kid:

This comic was one of the funniest things I’d ever seen as a kid and I still think about it every Halloween

grok what would a smart guy say

this is the type of shit David Byrne says directly into the camera in True Stories

Did my annual "hey why not, it's Fall" mistake and ordered some seasonal Salted Maple Cold Brew that tasted like turbo ass & gulped it down so I could get back to regular coffee. Looking forward to doing this with some peppermint bullshit in the Winter!

You Can See Everything is way too hyped right now, need to let the inevitable backlash cycle play out then I’ll see it in a few weeks and come away with the only correct opinion

Showed my kid the 80s My Little Pony and one of the ponies is unmistakably Nancy Cartwright doing an early version of the Bart Simpson voice

The kids gym hosting a 2 year old’s birthday party was playing a soundtrack of Elmo songs and stuff like Who Let The Dogs Out then randomly threw on Running Up That Hill ??

At a “cool” restaurant and there was a lull in conversation noise for exactly enough time for me to hear a middle-aged lady at the bar say what I choose to believe was “Palpatine”

Every site getting to use “Crumbl crumbles” headlines

“Whalefall art thou Romeo?” would’ve done numbers on old Twitter (8 faves)

Pretty funny that after years of people saying “errm actually any team could spend like the Dodgers, how bout you direct your anger at your own cheap owner??” we learned they may be an actual criminal enterprise

losing my mind that the ny post wrote about a candidate farting and someone got mad their reporting got stolen

Extremely serene to watch Sunday football after your team already lost on Thursday. I keep thinking there’s some errand hanging over my head then remembering I already knocked it out

thinking about how on my first day in LA I went to a coffee shop and saw a girl reading a book on acting. I thought “wow LA is pretty charming” and then she had a panic attack so bad they had to call her an ambulance

Political ad where two worried seniors at the kitchen table fret that our military is not "High T" enough

Applied for some random job, got a boilerplate rejection email, then a followup survey saying "We'd love feedback on your application journey!" JOURNEY might be UNDERselling it!!!

My mom sends me 4 Facebook videos a day about motherhood or being a grandma that are ten trillion times more earnest than any emotional exchange we have ever had

Restaurant hostess was drinking an iced coffee when she sat us. Are you NOT PLUGGED INTO THE DISCOURSE????

Brandon Cisse “White Male”

Trump (at UN podium, looking straight down) Effective immediately, sitting Criss Cross Applesauce will again be called sitting Indian Style LibsOfTikTok (QTing some kindergarten’s post from 2018) Inner city school DEFYING our president @FBI @DOJ

Arts and farts and crafts

My nose when the temperature drops 5 degrees

RIP Gerrit Graham - “Take THAT, Guernica” and at least a dozen other line deliveries will live in my head forever

People say the term “cult favorite” gets overused but I personally believe my kid’s microwaveable nuggets are the new Rocky Horror

(acting in American Psycho but I forgot my lines) wow... business card.... a perfect rectangle... white, with words on it... All the key information is on here Jared Leto: (also forgot his lines) Plus it has Dope Handfeel as well

Re: that Sunday Ticket commercial, I’d be pretty pissed if I invited friends over, they insisted on watching other games, and I had to watch a four-way splitscreen for 3 hours

Downloading the Taco Bell app to learn more about the Taco Bell Live Mas Student Section

I recently resigned from my role at Anthropic, as I can no longer condone the company's decision to develop the weird amphibious military drone from the Robin Williams movie "Toys" - the company seems to know it's pointless but fear OpenAI will beat them to it (1/?)

That Vivek batting video was eerily similar to an old family VHS of kid-me in a batting cage telling the camera which various A’s sluggers were batting as I whiffed at pitch after pitch, once dropping the bat while 4 pitches sailed by

This blog was so good I'm using a gift link on it defector.com/the-state-of...

Saw a road worker with a vest that said “Working like CRAZY to support the LAZY” - Can anyone do anything anymore without fucking bitching about it?

Rewatched National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon and it's not "good" but I did laugh at this joke

This mysterious stranger on the train keeps suggesting a scheme where we commit murders for one another - ??

It’s usually a good sign when a football conference issues a statement and the first 9000 comments are people quoting “1984”

I have no idea what happened in the football game, but why does this look like the back cover of a Dean Koontz novel ©️1983.

The Michigan / Western Michigan game teeing that up for the upcoming week of sportstalk shows

John Fetterman blowing off the children's hospital and paralyzed veterans

TONY SCOTT: I need you to punch up the dialogue for this script, Crimson Tide - just don't make it TOO obvious you worked on it QUENTIN TARANTINO: You got it [FINAL PRODUCT] GENE HACKMAN: Who do you think you are, sailor, SONNY CHIBA in 1975’s criminally underrated THE BULLET TRAIN??